A mother is arrested for an explicit instructional chat with her kids

We’ve all read the articles and the pamphlets and seen the PSAs. We get it: Talk to you kids about sex. But just don’t make it TOO sexy. A Wisconsin woman made the mistake of giving her sons a talk on the facts of life complete with sex toy visual aids and an in-depth description of oral sex. She was arrested when her youngest boy complained to a counselor that he wished his mommy would keep certain information to herself. So does that mean to play it safe we should keep our sex talk to the “birds and the bees"? Do birds and bees even date? No wonder we’re confused.

We asked Bill Albert, spokesperson for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, about the best way to have “The Talk” without having your kids walk away wondering what storks have to do with getting knocked up. Here are his tips:

Believe your kids will listen: Many parents think they’ve lost their influence to peers and popular culture. But countless surveys prove otherwise, Albert says. Children look to their parents for guidance, and although it might seem like they’re not listening, they are.

You don’t have to be an expert: Don’t be too concerned about being a biology textbook scholar on the subject of sex. We parents are qualified to talk about it. After all, we have first-hand experience. Well, at least we did before we had kids.

Use TV as a teaching tool: Watch one of your teenager’s favorite shows with them, and when a sexual theme comes up (which it will), pause the TiVo and discuss, Albert suggests. That way you’re talking about the sex lives of fictional characters rather than making it about your child.

It’s not all about sex: A strong relationship with your child providing guidance and support will teach them way more than any graphic sex talks will, Albert says. Teaching them strong values will lead to wise choices when it comes to sex.

The bottom line, says Albert, is you’re not only going to have one big sit-down about sex and then check it off your list. It’s an ongoing dialogue that should last a full 18 years. Enjoy!