How to cook a turkey: the classic, wowza, and cheater versions.

The quickest and easiest (some would say "cheating") way to "make" a turkey is to mail-order a pre-cooked one from Harry & David. If you order today and select standard overnight delivery, it can be there by Wednesday. (Shipping costs vary depending on zip code, but sending a turkey to California cost 35 bucks.)

This classic $69.95 whole turkey arrives pre-seasoned, and is ready to heat and serve in two hours. It even comes with easy-to-follow instructions for all those kitchen-challenged Moms out there. When your guests see you pulling the perfect bird out of the oven, no one will be the wiser. (As long as you bury that Harry & David box deep down in the trash, that is.)

Want to cook your turkey the old-fashioned way? Here, the classic and wowza options:

CLASSIC
One Mom on staff has been using this Bon Appetit recipe for the past 13 years, and absolutely swears by it.

WOWZA
If you really want to wow your friends and fam, give this Harissa-Roasted Turkey recipe by Chef Marcus Samuelsson a try.