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Notes from a Princess-Loving Feminist

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A Momologue from Julie: All my friends are anti-Princess but me.

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"I am a feminist. I didn't change my name when I got married. I am a proud working mother. I belong to NOW. But the other night at a dinner party, my feminist status was thrown into question. Five of my Mom friends and I were having dinner when the subject turned to the Disney princesses. Suddenly, the women became angry. They didn't allow their daughters to have anything princess. They hated princesses. And they didn't want to teach their daughters that when you landed a man, you lived happily ever after. I don't want to teach my daughter that, either. But I don't believe having a few (okay, more than a few) Cinderella costumes and dolls around will do her any damage. My 4-year-old daughter is princess-obsessed. She loves Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, and Aurora. She is crazy for anything emblazoned with their image, and Disneyland is her favorite place in the world. To me, this is a period that I treasure. She gets so excited when she plays with her princesses, and I don't want to take that away from her just because it doesn't fit in with my own feminist ideology. At some point in the near future, my daughter is bound to turn her back on Snow White and the gang for something cooler, hipper, edgier. But until that day comes, I am going to revel in every last Princess-loving moment. And, with any luck, we'll live happily ever after."



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12 comments so far | Post a comment now
lizgriffith0 December 8, 2007, 1:37 PM

I don’t think princess obsession is a concern until mothers try to turn their daughters into princesses ala JonBenet Ramsey.

beth December 8, 2007, 2:23 PM

I agree with liz—a little princessing is not the worst thing. honestly i thought i’d never be into it it you have to admit that it is really cute.

Ellen December 8, 2007, 5:47 PM

I am a complete tomboy who never wears pink and God gave me a daughter. She loves princesses and I think it’s great. She needs to have the opportunity to figure out what SHE likes and dislikes it’s not my call.

jolene December 9, 2007, 12:08 AM

Go Julie! love your honesty on this, the princess thing can get nauseating, but I think we need to allow our daughters to revel in it for a bit, while they are tiny.

karen December 10, 2007, 6:24 PM

I’m with you on this one. How is the fantastical notion of Prince Charming any different from Santa Claus? As long as we eventually explain to our daughters the way real relationships work, I don’t see the difference, or the harm.

Andrea December 20, 2007, 5:04 PM

I wish they had the Disney Princess craze when I was a little girl - I would have loved it. Whoever thought to package those princesses was a genius.

Didn’t most of us envision ourselves as princesses at our own weddings? We met our princes and were going to live happily ever after. So maybe “true love” doesn’t always turn out like we planned. But whether our daughters dress like princesses now or not, at some point, they will experience heartbreak, and I don’t think that having believed in a fairytale world as a child will make that any easier or harder. What’s wrong with letting them dream of and believe in the best that life has to offer? If everyone saw the world from the eyes of a princess, maybe the world would be a nicer place.

Mimi December 21, 2007, 7:27 PM

I don’t see the harm in allowing my daughter or my son, for that matter, to watch the princess movies. I loved princess movies, as a child, and my career choice was not exactly princess movie material —- technology…yes, and I did live happily ever after in the tech field! LOL! I am also happily married. So, if there is anyone out there that is afraid that a princess movie will “brainwash” their little girl or boy into some kind of complacent or savior role, it won’t. The brainwashing, my friends, begins at home by the parents, and other significant role models found in the extended family.

Mimi December 21, 2007, 7:28 PM

I don’t see the harm in allowing my daughter or my son, for that matter, to watch the princess movies. I loved princess movies, as a child, and my career choice was not exactly princess movie material —- technology…yes, and I did live happily ever after in the tech field! LOL! I am also happily married. So, if there is anyone out there that is afraid that a princess movie will “brainwash” their little girl or boy into some kind of complacent or savior role, it won’t. The brainwashing, my friends, begins at home by the parents, and other significant role models found in the extended family.

Anna February 12, 2009, 12:42 PM

disney princesses teach little girls that someone will always show up to save them in times of need. This leads to disappointments and dependency on others. If snow white was not such a pansey she would have gatherd villagers together and start a witch hunt/ revolution to distroy her stepmother, making her queen to her fathers kingdom and not second in command to some lazy prince who simply locked lips with her clammy dead corpse to gain her affections.

JB March 10, 2010, 8:02 PM

Some people miss the point. They think Cinderella had to be rescued by a man and that the story promotes looking to a man for our happy ever after. Cinderella was rescued by her fairy godmother and that is symbolic of her higher self. The story actually teaches girls to relay on their best self.

Snow White saved herself by forming relationships that supported her.

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