twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Zoey's Pregnancy 101

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy gives Moms an opportunity to talk to tweens.

JLspears_OKmag.jpg

Tween fans of Zoey 101 surfing the Web for info on their hero today are going to get more than they bargained for when they find out that 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. Even if you don't plan to share this sensitive information with your tween, she'll likely hear about it on the radio, Internet, or from her friends. So, what should you do when your tween finds out that her favorite teen star is now a mom-to-be?

Sabrina Weill, mom of two and author of The Real Truth about Teens and Sex, offers the following three pointers:

1. THE TIP: It's important to make the gravity of the situation feel real for your tween.
It's very difficult for teens and tweens to grasp the concept of consequences. It makes it even harder when they see people they look up to, like Jamie Lynn, getting pregnant--especially when it doesn't seem like the consequences for them are so bad. Asking your tween some tough questions will help her look at this situation in a different light.

THE SCRIPT:
• How do you think Jamie Lynn felt when she had to tell her Mom she was pregnant?
• How do you think she felt when she had to tell her friends?
• How do you think her boyfriend felt telling his parents that he got his girlfriend pregnant?
• How do you think she feels about taking on the responsibility of caring for a new baby?
• How do you think her boyfriend feels knowing that he and his family will be financially responsible for supporting another life, starting now?
• If this happened to one of your friends at school, how would the situation be different from Jamie Lynn's?
How would it be the same?

WHY IT WORKS: Answering questions like these will help tweens understand that what they're hearing in the media is not the entire story. Jamie Lynn and her family are likely having many conversations behind closed doors and experiencing a lot of heartache over this pregnancy that the public is simply not privy to. You don't want to panic or scare your child, but you want to help them view the situation realistically.

2. THE TIP: Make sure your tween knows she can come to you no matter what.
Most importantly, you need to let your tween know you would be there for her in a similar situation--and that you would want her to talk to you first.

THE SCRIPT: "I will always love you, and I will always listen to you. If you or your friends are in a situation you can't handle--like you're sexually active, or you become pregnant--I would want you to come to me first. Your well-being is what's most important to me."

WHY IT WORKS: These words let you share your expectations and values with your tween while still keeping the lines of communication open. If she feels like she can always come to you, you're less likely to be surprised by any unexpected news or announcements, like Jamie Lynn's mother Lynne Spears was. Many teens and tweens feel like their Mom would kill them if they got pregnant. The truth is, you'd probably be disappointed, but you'd still want to be the first to know. It's important that she understands this.

3. THE TIP: Keep the conversation going.
Jamie Lynn's pregnancy is all over the news today, but it will likely garner less and less media attention as the days and weeks go on. However, this will probably remain front-page news for your tween for a while.

THE SCRIPT: "Hey, I heard some of the Moms at drop-off talking about Jamie Lynn. Are your friends still talking about it?"

WHY IT WORKS: As the conversation about Jamie Lynn evolves, your tween's questions will too. By keeping the conversation alive you can make sure you answer any questions she has and squelch any misconceptions she may be picking up from friends at school.

Of course, these conversations can be awkward, but unfortunately tweens are already having conversations and hearing rumors about sex--it's key that one of the voices they hear be one they can trust the most: their parents.

Will you talk to your tween about Jamie Lynn's pregnancy? Comment now.


next: Top 5: Santa Train Wreck Photos
101 comments so far | Post a comment now
Josh December 20, 2007, 12:12 PM

What I don’t understand is why we have to talk about this like she did something totally shameful and trashy. She is a young woman who made decisions and is now making choices about how to deal with consequences. Just because the pregnancy is apparently unplanned, does not mean that the decision to keep it needs to be full of shame. If she was 26 we’d be saying “congratulations!” not “I’m so sorry. Sure, we should talk to our kids about sex, and the decisions they should make. And we should tell them what our values are. My values are that sex is something special, to be reserved for when it can be special. 16 year olds are having sex all the time and this “difficult time” rhetoric (thanks Nickelodeon) only serves to make those teens feel awful about the choices they make. Wouldn’t our children be best served by teaching them seriously about the choices they can make the consequences they could have? Don’t we want our teens to feel that their choices are sacred and life affirming because they are thoughtful and careful decisions? Clearly there is a mesage in this story about suing contraception and safer sex practices, but that doesn’t mean that Jamie Lyn is a skank!

Jamie Fan December 20, 2007, 1:16 PM

Im very dissapointed in Jamie Lynn spears she was my role model i thought she was going to be a good spears unlike brittney brittney was once my favorite singer and she was my role model but then she messed her life up and i didnt like her anymore zoey 101 is such a great show i would hate to see nickaloden cancel it. her being pregnant is no ones decission it was hers and she feels offly bad about it she knows she did wrong she made a mistake evryone does. Little kids will have to deal with it and like her the way she is im only 12 and i understand what she is going through not that im going to get pregnant not for about when im until im 24 or 25. I hope everything works out for her.
i still love her character on zoey 101 and i still love jamie lynn spears just dissapointed in her. Some of you parents are being harsh.
bye ( =

Dave December 20, 2007, 3:57 PM

I’m a little confused here! I thought it was against the law for an 18 yr.old
to have sex with a 16 yr.old? Shouldn’t he be put in jail, and have his name added to the sex offender list? What’s good for one should be good for all.

skfganjing December 20, 2007, 4:17 PM

I loved Zoey 101. Now Im going to stop wacthing because of to reasons. One its a bad influence to all kids. Kids will start thinking to have sex at the age of 15. THATS JUST WRONG!!! The seconed reason is how are they going to shoot a movie anyway. Jamie said she is not going to be like her sister but I think this is worse. I dont even think Spears is ready to rasie a baby at her age.

Laura December 20, 2007, 4:39 PM

I have got to say that’s the worst piece of advice ever. you want me to ask my daughter how this girl felt having to tell her parents about her pregnancy? Do you think you can shame your kid into not making a mistake? Personally, I would rather have my daughter feel comfortable enough to come talk to me if she were ever in this situation - and the questions you suggest posing to your teen does not in any way encourage that. There are other, better ways to speak to your child about sex and its consequences.

High School Teacher December 20, 2007, 10:28 PM

Understandable…accidents happen. I bet every woman has been in a difficult situation similar to this one at one point in her life. A situation which warrants an adult decision, not one of who will I pay for the first public photo of my child??

The problem with this “difficult” situation is that it is glorified! She is a child who is not getting the consequences she deserves. What happened to tough love?? What happened to “don’t do this” or “if you do this, then you are out of the house?”

Spolied. Spoiled.

Michele December 21, 2007, 2:31 AM

I’m not saying she is a role model. I do think that children should be exposed to all types of entertainment for their appropriate age group. First off comes homework. Omce this is complete activites such as karate, etc. Then if they would like to watch TV for an hour that is fine. I have regulated my son’s programs. I dod enjoy Zoey 101. I’m not saying that this is my son’s role model. However, in my opinion you did choose to become an entertainer and your life is always on public display. You are viewed by millions and your wholesome character becomes tarnished. If they want to have sex fine. However, is she meet this boyfriend in Church what did they learn?? They did not learn about abstinance. What about contracepion?? Your only 16 with a flourishing career and an education to look forward to. Life at this age is so wonderful. Why complicate it? Tje time for children will come. I waited to have my son for five years after marriage. I love him like no other person could, but what happen to just being a child??? I’m disappointed….

Deborah December 21, 2007, 10:16 AM

While I believe that what this girl did was stupid, I think it’s extremely important to talk to our daughters about it in a way that’s age-appropriate. I got pregnant at 19 because I was foolish and scared to tell my mother that I was having sex. If I had felt more comfortable with talking about my personal life with my mother, I would have made smarter choices. We can’t protect our kids all the time and they are going to make mistakes no matter what we do BUT we have the responsibility to give them the tools to make the decisions that we would want them to make. I will talk to my daughter about this because I don’t want her to have a baby before she’s ready. I want to make her understand that her education is the greatest gift she can give herself and that caring about a boy doesn’t mean having to “go all the way.” Furthermore, I want her to understand that when she’s ready to have sex, I want her to come to me so that we can talk about ways to keep her safe from disease and pregnancy. I gave my son the same speech starting at around 12 and he’s now 22 - he’s sexually active but I’m still not a grandmother. Age-appropriate honesty is the best way to deal with this situation.

Talia December 21, 2007, 1:15 PM

I think parents need to wake up and realize that kids are becoming sexually active at very young ages now. I’m only 18 now but I remember when I was in 5th and 6th grade hearin about girls being caught with boys in the boys bathroom and stuff like that. I think wat Jamie Lynn was irresponsible but she’s a teenager that’s wat we do make mistakes. This is happening all over the US. There are gurls 10,11,12 havin sex and gettin pregnant, so wats their excuse??? Stop blaming stars for wat your children do, they aren’t the ones raising them you are. Use things like this to talk to your child and explain the consequences. Parent your children and stop lettin the tv do it. How can a 16 y/o pop star/ actress be your child’s role model, she’s a child herself. I lost my virginaty last summer to my boyfriend of almost two years and I watch tv all the time and still waited until I decided I was ready so this is crap about tv is going to curupt your child. Just talk to them about sex and make them feel comfortable about coming to you about anything.

Anonymous December 21, 2007, 4:07 PM

This show needs to be cancelled right away to send the message to girls that are not in jamie lynn spears situation that there are consquences for their actions. I agree with any parent that belives blocking nickelodeon til they remove the show, as well as any magazine that has stories about this, if people want news let about her let them get it from the tabloids.
Its sad that whoever thought that it would be a good idea to incorporate this into the show would be a good way to talk to your daughter, you should be able to do that anyway or get of the internet and try to have a conversation.

Lauren December 21, 2007, 7:47 PM

There is a new book, Third Base Ain’t What it Used to Be, that teaches parents how to tackle these issues with their children from an early age. The author spoke on Good Morning America yesterday.

Adrienne December 21, 2007, 9:31 PM

zoey i am 10 and i am so mad! I have never been so mad in life.I am mad because that is one of my favrit sows.You are sedding a bad igsample for the children of the world.You are going to lose alot of fans including me!

Anonymous December 21, 2007, 10:47 PM

learn how to spell GIRL

Asad December 23, 2007, 2:44 AM

I am not shocked at all. I knew this would happen the day she came on tv, but didn’t expect it so early. Hannah montana is next. All of these child start turn out to be whores when they grow up, not to mention some like Jamie Lynn do it while still in their teens…

Tieomaither December 23, 2007, 1:53 PM

WOW, YOU REALLY DIASPOINT ME JAMIE I REALLY LOVED YOUR SHOW BUT NOW I LOOK AT YOU IN A DIFFERENT WAY. I’M NOT SAYING THAT TEENS DONT MAKE MISTAKE BUT DIDNT YOU AT LEAST THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES AND THE FUTURE THAT WAS HEADED TOWARDS YOU BEFORE YOU OPENED YOUR LEGS, BUT I GUESS IT WAS YOUR DISSICION. I AM NOT SAYING I HATE YOU BUT I JUST DONT LIKE YOU ANYMORE YOU ARE REALLY DISAPOINTED ME AND NOT JUST ME BUT ALOT OF YOUR FANS. YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WANT TO BE LIKE YOUR SISTER BUT IT TURNS OUT YOU ARE MUCH WORSE! I CANT STAND YOUR GUTS ANYMORE AND YOUR MOM IS PRETTY STUPID FOR THE WAY SHE IS TREATING YOU. SHOOT IF I WERE YOUR MOM I WOULD TEACH YOU A LITTLE THING CALLED “TOUGH LOVE”. AND BY THE WAY I HOPE THEY CANCEL ZOEY 101. THAT WILL TEACH A LIFELONG LESSON ABOUT HOW YOU TO THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED BY.

Tieomaither December 23, 2007, 2:06 PM

I USED TO LOV YOU JAMIE UNTIL YOU WENT AND OPENED YOUR LEGS. YOUR MOTHER IS ACTING PRETTY STUPID, SHE SHOULD USE A TECHNIQUE CALLED “TOUGH LOVE”. AND BY THE WAY I HOPE YOUR SHOW GETS CANCELLED, HOPEFULLY THAT WILL TEACH U A LESSON U STUPID SKANK!

Kenny December 23, 2007, 8:49 PM

JLS a role model?
This is quite scary.
I grew up & now work in a neigborhood where situations like this happen quite often.
We’re talking elementary school on up here. Beginning as young as 11 in my school district.
It’s never a problem, or needs to be discussed when it’s just ghetto or trailer park kids.
Only when it becomes a factor of the ever apathetic, & silent so-called middle class, & it crosses over into the NIMBY-Not In My Backyard self-serving way of life, then it’s a problem.
That’s the truly saddening part.
Only if it effects me or mine.
I know that parenting has a lot to do with a kid growing up correctly,
& I know it’s rough out here & the cost of living makes it difficult to spend sufficient time with the kids.
Television is an opiate of the masses, especially the young & impressionable.
Television is fueled by marketing, & while kids programming may be mind-numbingly awful, shallow, lacking in creativity, & filled with PC drivel. It’s not doing nearly as much damage as the advertisers that support it.
Walk into a department store & check out some of the young misses clothing.
Revealing clothing for 10 year olds??
Bleech..
Take a look at some of the outfits that the BRATZ are wearing, & the kind of materialistic, & me-me-me additude the dolls convey in the ads, & it’s enough to make one throw up.
Ad’s where the kids rule the parents, & succeed inthe art of manipulation for a stupid cellphone so they can text their Bff.
All very clear messages to me about the state of american family, & where priorities are placed, by advertisers.
it’s always been$$$$, but never this twisted & overt.
I won’t even go into the internet, & the fact that there’s a plethora of scantily dressed, drunken, stoned, teens & pre-teens everywhere.
Pop-culture has become the new religion.
Marketed on tv, & passed-on like a virus to these kids.

Parents, please learn to say NO to your kids, & also kids don’t need an explanation for everything.
Because I said so & I do know better will suffice.
They are not your friends, but your children, & need to be raised, not nurtured, & coddled.
I work hard myself, & also have a side-business.
I can tell you my kids 12, & 10, have limited internet, & tv time.
They wanna scream sometimes, but i’m sure they will love me for it in the end.


bleh December 24, 2007, 8:23 PM

you know what shes not the first teenanger to get pregnate ppl just need to mind their own business!! and just drop it its her life her mistakes

Shady Grove December 25, 2007, 3:00 AM

Maybe our schools should teach more grammar in addition to improving the sex-education programs.

To all of the people who blame the Spears’ mother…you had better watch how you look down your noses: your daughter is next! No matter how hard you try to steer her in the right direction, ultimately the choice is hers.
My mother raised 2 daughters. One went totally wild, has been pregnant 3 times, and has always had a string of no-good boyfriends. I am 18 and a virgin. I don’t drink or party, etc. I believe in protecting my parents- I don’t think they want to know the intimate details of my sexuality- but I know that I can tell my mom anything. When I decide to become sexually active, she will help me pick the birth control that is right for me. My sister and I are like night and day through no fault of my sainted mother’s. So, watch yourselves. Many times, the tighter you try to hold on, the wilder the child.
As for Jaimie Lynn and the father (someone who is absent from too many conversations about this pregnancy), a baby is always a blessing. I just hope they feel the same way.
Cheers.



Lee Anne December 26, 2007, 8:33 PM

If your daughter becomes pregnant and you blame the situation on Jamie Lynn Spears setting the precedent, you need to wake up and smell the lack of parenting: YOU are your child’s primary role model. You have infinitely more influence in your child’s life than any TV character.
What’s happened has happened- she’s pregnant, she’s gone public rather than hide in shame, and quite frankly, maybe this is a good thing. Girls need to know that it happened to Jamie Lynn, and it can happen to them too. It can happen to ANYONE who is sexually active, not just the type of girl stereotypically shown as a ‘pregnant teen’ type.


Leave a reply:



(not displayed)

     




Avoid clicking "Post" more than once
Back to top >>
advertisement