Please, Don't Fight in Front of the Kids
Mom•Logic friend Counseling Mom reminds us why it's really so important to let kids be kids.
Assuming that something was about to get resolved, I walked slowly to my car, all the while seeing the mom engage in an argument with the man in the car. Now, with the awareness that nothing for this family was about to get resolved, I took my time about getting ready to pull out of my parking spot. I wanted to be available to help if mom and her kids ended up abandoned at my building on this cold night. I had a toasty warm waiting room, and a phone if they needed it. They continued to argue. He turned his headlights on. This went on for several minutes, all the while I kept glancing at the girls through my rear view mirror. There they stood in the dark night, still in that same position. The arguing between the adults went on. I couldn't linger much longer. Knowing that she would be able to get back into my building if she needed to, I started to slowly back out and pull away, always glancing back at those girls.
Those girls are still in my head right now. It was 27F degrees. It was almost 8 p.m. at night. Those girls just stood there in the cold, stunned, like they were afraid to move, 8 and 10 years old. What do you think those girls were thinking? How do you think they were feeling? My heart nearly broke for them. Instead of being at home safe, warm, and secure, preparing for their day tomorrow, they were outside somewhat alone, cold, and probably worrying about how they were going to get home, or worse, what would happen next.
Couples, I need to tell you: NO CHILD SHOULD EVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THIS . Children need to, and have a right to, feel safe with their parents. What these girls were probably worrying about that night are adult worries. It is our job to deal with these issues, not theirs. Look, I know that kids experience worse things than this. But that does not mean that a situation like this is appropriate. Parents, we need to grow up and parent our children. As a parent you no longer have the right to give in to your own temper tantrums and storm off into your rooms, or cars as it might be, and never, ever, ever, should any child be faced with feeling abandoned, I don't care how angry you are with your spouse. Grow up! Children first, folks.
We also really need to look at how we treat our spouses or mates. When you fight do you reign down a heap of foul language or criticisms meant to hurt your partner? Why? Why, would you do that? Some of us get married and then treat our mates in ways that we would never even consider treating our friends. We fight dirty, erode our marriages, and then divorce. Guys, all of this rolls down hill to our children. The next time you are tempted to kid yourselves into thinking that your children are unaffected by moments like this, please think of those two young girls standing on the steps of my office building. Please give our kids a break."
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