"I Hate Power PTA Moms"

 

Oh My Gosh. I can’t believe it. Whoever wrote this post apparently jumped into my brain and wrote down my exact thoughts. I have felt the same way for many years now. Thanks for putting out there what I have trouble putting into words. It is funny the way they have such a false sense of power. Wonder what they talk about when they are having the PTA’ girls night out? Hmmm, love to be a fly on that wall.

- Michelle

Posted 01/24/08 04:24 PM

 

 

I loved this letter and echo a lot of your points. I volunteer 2 days a week(about 3-4 hours total), but there are a few moms that are there everyday for almost the whole day. One group sits in the little workroom and gossips in hushed voices or monopolize the teacher’s prep time. One of these mother’s refers to other people’s children as ‘little shits’. Her child is perfect of course. The other group of moms are the political PTA moms. I’ve been in this elem. school since 1995 and have been scolded for not participating in PTA more. I’m sorry. I work well with children, not bossy mothers. I’m proud of my 13 years and about 2,000 hours, and I’m most proud of doing it because I wanted to, not because I wanted everyone to notice what a ‘Power PTA mom’ I was!

- M

Posted 01/24/08 05:10 PM

 

 

As a high school teacher and college teacher, I’ve had my share of helicopter-parents. Since my first child is on the way (incubating as I write), I don’t have experience with them at the lower level. I can’t wait to share these educational experiences with her, and after this article, I’m more excited. EEK! But at least I feel warned now.

- Renee

Posted 01/24/08 05:42 PM

 

 

I remember the PTA president of DD’s elementary school. She walked around with a clipboard like she owned the place. Another parent thought it was awful that one particular teacher (who yelled alot) got into it with madam president.I thought it was funny. I’m glad someone told that beotch off.

- Lynne

Posted 01/25/08 11:18 AM

 

 

Not so sure which mom has the issues here after reading this. And what an odd choice of photo to accompany this story… yes, let’s give someone the finger, as long as it’s behind your back! great lessons, moms.

- Miranda

Posted 01/25/08 01:40 PM

 

 

The author sounds like an unhappy person who feels guilty that she is not volunteering as mush as these other moms. Maybe she should step up and help more instead of just complaining from the sidelines.

- Susan

Posted 01/28/08 03:38 PM

 

 

Seems like the author’s guilt about not volunteering more at school is being taken out on the ones who do. Maybe she should step up and help out instead of complaining from the sidelines.

- Susan

Posted 01/28/08 03:42 PM

 

 

Well, from the perspective of an actual student who has had to deal with these “Moms”… I hated them! We, as kids, feel out of control already, but when you mix parents with school, it’s DISTRACTING! I hated the Moms who volunteered everyday. Honestly, to tell you the truth Moms, we all gossip about you, even your own children do! My friend Ana would constantly talk about how her mother “has no life”, that’s why she volunteers. Our room mother would sit and grade papers and hang snowmen on the billboard and think that she had an actual job. Another thing, I wish that all the PTA Moms would at least TRY to treat parents who are not a part of the PTA with an ounce of respect. Do you even know the message you are conveying when you talk down to parents who choose not to join the PTA because they can see through the bull? Another thing, don’t you think that it’s a LITTLE smothering to be following your kid around at home AND school? Leave your kids alone and leave all these stuff to the people who AREN’T related to the kids.

- Laura

Posted 02/04/08 01:05 AM

 

 

Actually, I am a PTA mom. However, I do not volunteer to promote myself or my own children. My role in the PTA is more traditional than the fundraising “bake sale” mom or the hospitality “room mom” types. Not all PTA moms are evil; however, I admit that some of these “helicopter moms” are overinvolved at the school and a few are only there to promote their precious, perfect, little angels. I happen to be an outsider from the inside. I do not receive any special treatment from the school because I am involved. I have not formed any close friendships with any of these women but I do not consider them bad people. I just have more in common with people outside the PTA circle. The reason I became involved in the PTA is that I want to ensure that my children get the best quality public school education possible. Also, I learned that many of these “PTA moms” do not have the ability to say “no”. For example, I know of a “PTA mom” who over-volunteers because she is afraid that no one else will step up to the plate. I volunteer in my children’s classroom twice a month without guilt. I have a pretty full life outside of my children’s grade school.

- M

Posted 02/08/08 12:12 AM

 

 

I find it very distrcting whe moms are at my school. Its also pityful if you ask me because why can’t you all find a real job and leave your kids be. You wonder why they will be so emo when their older and not even want to be seen with there own parents. And going up to your kid at school and hugging them and kissing them will get them teased, if you didn’t knew…..of course you don’t. Its okay to love your kid and stuff, but not at school, they have enough problems in school as it is and you have to volenteer, you did’t finish school so PTA moms, don’t teach at a school that your kid goes to!!!

- stephanie

Posted 03/05/08 10:32 PM

 

 

the crazy PTA mom at my kid’s school made the following decisions last year (i have two kids and each has her for a room mom. lord help us!): 1. SHE removed books from the classroom library that she thought were inappropriate 2. she made sure her sons got the leads in all the school plays 3. she succeeded in having other people’s kids placed in in school suspension (for saying “shut up” to another child which was just too much for her!) 4. she decided that the children did not need goody bags and insisted on filling them with pencils instead. 5. she took items which other hardworking parents had donated for the goody bags — and gave them to another school (largely minority) across town. I guess OUR precious kids don’t need sugar, but it’s OK for “those people”. Huh? 6. made sure that all planning meetings for all activities took place during school hours only 7. had massively age-inappropriate games for the end of year party. (a wading pool with ducks for sixth graders!) 8. made sure no one ever watched a PG movie, ever. not even in junior high. Huh? need I say more. Did you say power trip? I concur.

- sick of it

Posted 03/10/08 07:15 PM

 

 

These comments made me Laugh! It’s great to hear from the kids of the PTA moms and their feelings on these PTA Power Moms. I volunteer at my kid’s school but in my own way. I am not in the “inner circle” of PTA moms because I choose to be home with my husband and kids. I resent all of the fundraising activities that take away family time. My hubby travels a lot for work so we cherish our time with our three kids. I think the PTA moms mean well but sometimes the power trips and cliques seem so juvenile! I try to listen to what my kids need from me. They need my time more than the school does. That’s why school is school and home is home!

- Jeanne

Posted 03/29/08 12:51 AM

 

 

At my daughters school, its the same way and this is why I do not even try to bother being another “volunteer”…for one I am not good enough cause my husband is a not a lawyer or a doctor…it is almost seems to be a prerequesite here…and I do not own a oversized SUV or have big hair…so i just stay home and clean my home and go grocery shopping…alot happier too.

- Kimberly

Posted 03/31/08 01:52 PM

 

 

Wow. It’s amazing to me the number of posters here who are so down on the “PTA moms.” In my short time being involved with my children’s public schools, I’ve found that it’s always the same few people who step up when something needs to be done. The rest, like many of the posters here, just complain about those of us who try to make a difference. That’s why you’ll often find the same moms running all of the programs: the rest of you are too busy with your fulfilled lives to help out at school. With statewide budget cuts, our teachers and administrators depend on the PTA to raise funds for academic programs and materials. Believe me, I am not on the PTA board because I need “power.” I have a career (which fortunately allows me to create my own hours), a wonderful family and two college degrees. I have found that most of the involved PTA moms at our school have similar backgrounds. We have chosen to modify our careers to stay home with our children to give them the best possible advantages (not being placed in daycare) and this also allows us to volunteer at school. We are not helicopters who hover around our kids. Quite the contrary: I spend most of my time at school trying to raise money so our kids can have the best technology and the most up-to-date materials. Unfortunately, since the states are so cash-strapped, it’s up to the PTA to provide for many of the items required for education. So, next time you feel like bashing the PTA moms, try offering up a bit of your precious time to help us raise some money and create programs for YOUR kids. Believe me, If anyone wants to take on my board position, I’ll be happy to spend more time at my “real” job and let her take over.

- Robin

Posted 07/27/08 02:22 PM

 

 

I had to laugh at some of the indignant comments here. I feel bad for the PTA mom’s kids who want to express divergent opinions at home. That would be a travesty! I for one am sick of self-important PTA “supermoms” who peaked in high school and now need the attention at their child’s school. Get over yourselves.

- Theresa

Posted 07/30/08 12:51 AM

 

 

I got pretty pissed off by some of the mean comments made by you haters of PTA moms. I have been a very involved PTO mom for almost 10 years now. I guess many of you would say I fall into that PTO supermom category. I am a retired USAF LtCol who served 22 years active duty in military intelligence straight out of college ROTC. I was fortunate to have retired just when my oldest was entering first grade - 10 years ago as of 1 Sep 2008. So I have had the luxury of time to be at home or do whatever because I am now retired. Incidentally, I was and still am about 15 years or so older than the other moms of my kids classmates! That did not deter me however… I started volunteering with the PTO as “just” a committee member for the school’s annual academic fair because other parents couldn’t or wouldn’t step up… either because they worked or because they just did not want to help at their kid’s school. Eventually I became the PTO President for two terms at the elementary school and when my kids moved on to middle school, I eventually became PTO President there. Now my kids are in high school and yep you guessed it, I am PTO President again. I guess my military leadership experience has been a major factor in that string of events. But I did not “peak in high school”, I am not a “helicopter parent”, I don’t think my kids are “precious little angels” (they are good kids but boy oh boy do they each have their faults!) I don’t need to quit volunteering at school and go out an get a “real” job. I have never scolded another person’s kid at school (except when I was actually working as a subsitute teacher for pay). I feel sorry that you so universally slam PTO moms just because you seem to have some PTO moms on power trips at your schools. Why not just talk about the situation with which you are personally familiar and stop at that - don’t apply your criticism and hatred to ALL PTO moms…because I take umbrage with you doing that. I have NEVER EVER looked down on parents who can’t participate because they work. I have been there. As a military officer, I got only 6 weeks maternity leave

- Cele

Posted 08/06/08 04:12 AM

 

 

Anyone remember the Judy Collins song, “Both Sides Now?” That’s me. When my oldest started kindergarten I had the same attitude as most of the moms who have responded here. Being employed full-time outside the home, I spent very little time aside from an occasional field trip or class party at the school. The women who did volunteer I held in great disdain. Who were they to look down on me? Why were they always in little cliquey groups as if they knew something more than me? How empty their lives must be if all they have time to do is hang out an elementary school all day long. But you know what I discovered? They weren’t being cliquish, I was being standoffish. Every day I left my son at his classroom door and picked him up 7 hours later. I timed this all with ruthless efficiency, because I needed to get back to work. Then one day, more than half way through the school year, one of the moms stopped me and said, “Isn’t your son in my son’s class? Do you think he wants to play teeball? My name’s Donna, what’s yours?” Now, don’t think that I rushed to join a committee that day, because that’s not what happened. What did happen is that the next day I stopped to say hi to Donna, and I met Kim and Judy and Diane. We weren’t buddies, but we knew each other. So, a couple of years later when Judy needed help with a school-wide holiday event she asked me if I could pitch in. And I said sure. And the next year I stepped up and said, “You know I design websites at work, I could redesign the school website if the committee needs any help.” Today I am the PTA Treasurer, and yes the other officers are my friends. And I am at school a lot, but then again I have a couple of kids that spend as many hours there each week as I do at my office, so I don’t think a couple of hours a week is unreasonable. And yes, as officers and board members we do spend time together - at local restaurants, at each others’ homes, at school. We also spend a lot of time that you don’t see taking care of things that make the PTA - and yes even the school

- Momthecoach

Posted 08/11/08 04:05 PM

 

 

“the copy of your child’s progress report was run on the copier that PTA money paid to lease” and the PTA mom that read it as she was xeroxing it and then gossipped and discussed it with her friends was also provided by the PTA. The “radar gun” that clocked the softball was purchased by someone who clearly had too much time on their hands and not enough else to do. Who CARES how fast the ball goes? The graduation slideshow that didn’t include your child because she is of mixed racial heritage — was provided by the PTA. The PTA mom that delivered the paper to the classroom and then attempted to discipline your child and get him suspended so her darling would get the part in the school play? also provided by the PTA. The snarky remark about “perhaps one of the few times you yourself made it to the school” was also provided by the PTA. Yessirree, for a mere five dollars a year, you can have all the racism, cruelty and condescion you can stomach. Provided by the PTA, of course, dontchaknow?

- OMG! YOu're right and we're wrong!

Posted 09/10/08 12:52 PM

 

 

I just wanted to vent about one PTA mom in particular at my daughter’s school, who will “be-friend” you when she wants something from you, and then pretend that your invisible once she gets what she wants. She is also the type to size up my daughter and ask weird questions to see what level my daughter is at. She also is the type to monopolize the teacher’s time. Even when the bell has rang she’ll still be chatting away when there is a line of parents who need to ask her something. This is an everyday occurence people. She only has one child, she’s a stay at home mom, and basically she has no life of her own. I used to feel sorry for her until I realized she was trying to suck me into her black hole. She tries to say untrue things about the teacher, just because she got an unsatisfactory review of her child. In fact one of the other teachers confronted her and she came crying to me. I, like an idiot, let her cry on my shoulder, and said just keep volunteering for your daughter’s sake. I now realize that she made this teacher’s life miserable. It’s one thing to volunteer for the sake of your child, but to make the PTA your social forum is ridiculous. I don’t have anything against the PTA, I’m part of it, it’s just those overbearing mom’s (or dad’s) who walk around thinking they own the school. I want to vent some more, but I feel like I’m rambling on and on… Thanks for listening

- mary

Posted 09/15/08 05:11 PM

 

 

I agree with you 100%. Thank you so much for your article.

- Kim

Posted 10/05/08 12:10 PM

 

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