"I Hate Power PTA Moms"

 

I have been on both sides of this fence. I have been a public school teacher and a stay-at-home mom with school age children. There are many mothers who do volunteer & help when needed. As a teacher I appreciated that they helped when they could & how they could. They are perfect in that they do not try to make the school their “kingdom”. Teachers do need the moms who can take care of the extras. As a stay-at-home mother now - there are some mothers who get on your nerves & are exactly how they’ve been described in the above posts. You do wonder… “Do they have a life? Do they know it’s okay not to be at school 24/7? I often wonder if they think that is what they are supposed to do & feel guilty otherwise. In another post I noticed a mom who said she stayed pretty much away from school because her husband’s occupation was not admired by the PTA moms. I am so sorry that has happened to you. I do believe it depends on the school. The schools I have taught in have been lower socio-economic & I did not see this. However, the school my own children go to - that’s another story. It’s funny and sad to me how even as adults some people think they are better because of what they have. Thanks!

- Elizabeth

Posted 10/12/08 05:09 PM

 

 

YES, THE SCHOOL I AM REFERRING TO P.S.41 IN STATEN ISLAND. THE SAME TYPE OF CONTROLLING PTA MOTHERS.HAVE NO LIFE AND MUST BE IN THE SCHOOL 24/7.ALWAYS PATTING THEMSELVES ON THE BACK AND CLAIMINIG ITS FOR THE CHILDREN. I THINK IT IS FOR THEIR OWN RECOGNITION. BY THE WAY IT IS NOT THE PTA WHO BUYS ALL THESE THING, IT IS OUR GENEROUS DONATIONS WHICH ALLOW THEM TO DO SO.LOVE THE WAY THEY TAKE ALL THE CREDIT. ALSO , FOR ALL YOU PTA MOMS YOU SHOULD KNOW THE TEACHERS AND STAFF GET QUITE ANNOYED WITH YOU AS WELL.GET A LIFE

- LISA

Posted 10/16/08 10:06 PM

 

 

FUNNY HOW ALL PTA MEMBER SAY THE SAME THING,”GIVE YOUR TIME ,ITS THE SAME PEOPLE HELPING OUT” LET ME TELL YOU, YOU GUYS WANT IT THAT WAY. I HAD TRIED TO GET INVOLVED AND ITS LIKE SITTING WITH A BUNCH OF GOSSIPY ,BITTER BORED HOUSEWIVES.IF YOU DONT BECOME EMEMYS WITH THEIR EMEMYS THEY ALL JOIN AGAINST YOU. NO THANK YOU.I AM INVOLVED IN MY CHILDRENS LIVES AND WITH THE TEACHERS BUT WILL NEVER CHOOSE TO SPEND MY TIME WITH A BUNCH OF WOMAN LIKE THAT. SO JUST KEEP PATTING YOURSELVES ON THE BACK . PEOPLE DONT WANT TO GET INVOLVED BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE ALL ABOUT. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU SUGAR COAT IT.

- LISA

Posted 10/16/08 10:16 PM

 

 

I am a PTO president and I have to say thank you for making me laugh. This is my first year and dealing with some of these moms is well… unpleasant at best. My husband was right—- I was stupid for volunteering! People have too many crazy agendas and personal issues that just interfere in what is best for the kids.

- M

Posted 10/21/08 01:37 AM

 

 

Well I agree adn disagree. I am in a situatuion where I volunteered at my kids school for 6 years, working one hour a week in the classroom and then doing the class parties, I joined PTA only last year. But at my school we have no help. Only a few moms to put on parties, there are many times some class rooms have no room parent at all and we fill in. I do have a full time job as well. I listen to kids read and also host a reading club on my day off. I don’t do it recognition, belive me there never is any. Also, parents, if you are involved in your kids life it does help. Research shows that involved parents kids’ do better in school. We have tons of moms who don’t even check their kids backpack adn see what they bring home. I agree that too much involvement or occupying a teachers time in not appropriate, but also parents that work and who don’t work can all give an hour or two throughout the year, even once! Just because some people are lazy does not give them the right to put down those who chose to be active.

- laurie

Posted 11/08/08 09:31 PM

 

 

I hear your pain. It’s not only the kids who have to suffer their power trip, it’s the other moms too. I get bullied by several moms at our school, and it’s awful. Every time I volunteer or drop off my children there they are, all in a huddle doing the clicky gossip thing about who can’t afford which extracurricular activity, and who was not invited to their birthday party. It’s bullshit, and I wish I could just shrug it off, but it hurts. I try not to let my kids see me feeling hurt and upset about it - but my daughter can tell that someting is wrong. I can suggest one thing though - Girl Scouts has a new program on bullying. Maybe if you have a daughter in scouts - look it up and see if you can get them to do a program with her troop - then invite the parents. Suggest to them that we are all role models and that if we can’t get along, then what example are we setting for our children? That might strike a self-important nerve in them. Good luck to you. I truly wish you the best of luck.

- robin

Posted 11/11/08 01:37 PM

 

 

I just wish the pta moms would stop complaining about all the other moms who don’t volunteer. Why don’t they try calling some Dads? They act like our kids were just sperm donations, and they don’t expect anything from the fathers. They don’t expect fathers to donate their time. And also, I wish the pta moms would realize that their involvement is their choice and, if I don’t choose to volunteer, it doesn’t make me any less of a person. They complain that there is not enough parent involvement, but they are the reason why there is none. I’ve always been happy to help in my own small ways, but I’m almost done with doing even that. I’m fed up. I found this page btw, but googling “hate pta moms” and then, “pta moms”. I needed to know I wasn’t alone and wrong for feeling this way. It’s nice to know I’m not alone or wrong at all.

- Jen

Posted 12/01/08 10:49 AM

 

 

By the way, have I ever received a personal thank you from any of these PTA moms when I have helped out in any small or big way? Maybe once. I’d want to help more if they treated me like a human being.

- Jen

Posted 12/01/08 10:56 AM

 

 

I love this article as well as all the comments made by both sides. While I applaud people for putting forth time and effort into the childrens school I am apauled by attitude and behavior of those that feel they are better because of it. Hooray for you that you are retired or a stay at home mom and can do it 5 days a week. And shame on those moms that work a full time job and sometimes more, that have other children at home. PLEASE, get over it. I volunteer once in a while whether it be for field trips or to work a book fair and you know what, I am more than fine with that. But do not look down on me because i do not spend every waking hour at my childrens school. Too bad get over it, I am. OH BTW My son with special needs was bumped off a preschool waiting list by a PTA mom whose sson was considered “hyper”. After complaining I was told first come first serve after special needs children. When I applied 3 months prior and had a son with special needs. Hmmm glad I had to take it to the board to get it straight. hat an award winning volunteer, she gives others their bad name.

- Jen

Posted 12/03/08 01:09 PM

 

 

Most of these women are out looking for men to fool around with while their husbands work.

- wallis

Posted 12/17/08 09:16 PM

 

 

This made me laugh as I have had to deal with parents like these and they can’t see the big picture. Guess what those power pta moms have made so many people mad that the enrollment numbers in PTA while they are involved continues to take the slow decline. I have to laugh! What goes around comes around. I would rather not be known as a PTA mom - it has a bad reputation. I would like to be know as a kids’ mom who cares. I like that title best. I do agree with your opinion though!

- sa

Posted 01/08/09 08:28 AM

 

 

I hate the women that won’t let you help with any planning, but when they run out of people to help run their lame events, they send out mass emails to dig up any of us they did not need before.

- Debbie

Posted 03/02/09 04:39 PM

 

 

After two years of contemplation, I finally joined the PTA at dd’s school. My first meeting I felt like I had just walked back into high school. The women stared at me and then asked if I “needed any help”. I said I just wanted to help out since the signs around school all beg for parent participation. In fact the first topic was, “how to get parents involved”. I said that maybe other parents do not feel welcome. That shocked these women. The solution was to offer cookies and coffee at the meetings. I was handed a leadership position because there were only three other members and they were severely over worked. However they absolutely did not want my input. They wanted me to sit there and listen, then do the lame things they handed me. Like making copies, cleaning the storage closet, and writing peoples ideas down. I remember having an opinion a few times, and basically having my head ripped off because I dared to say something. No new people ever came to more than two meetings. They were done at that point. After six months, I left without explantation. Nobody inquired why, they just went on with their little clique. I think these women truly care about the school, but they really love being martyrs. They complain about not having any help, but they don’t want the new ideas and spirit that comes from fresh people.

- Jon

Posted 03/02/09 04:54 PM

 

 

I come from another country where all this ridiculous moms getting at each other do not exists. I changed two school already thinking that maybe one would be better than the other. Big mistake! Everybody here is into gossips, what the other moms are wearing, driving, talking to,who is pretty and who is not, etc,etc. Absolutely disturbing, what is more disturbing is that sometimes even the teachers take part into all this drama. All I can tell to all of you is to Grow up, ladies! High School was over for you long time ago! Instead of focusing on the balloonies, focus on what is important. For instance, you can try with something basic like making a decent lunch for your kids to bring to school!

- Clarissa

Posted 05/10/09 02:41 AM

 

 

What a bunch of losers these PTA moms are. I bet their kids will be utterly embarrassed by them when they are older. My god women, give your kids some breathing space and maybe try getting a hobby or a job?

- Lisa

Posted 05/13/09 03:38 PM

 

 

My favorite is the Mothers who complain that there is not enough money in the system for their kids. If there is not enough money for your kids , get a job, support your own kids programs. Sheesh!

- ken haley

Posted 07/01/09 12:39 PM

 

 

I joined the PTA last fall and most of the moms I encountered were really nice, except for a few. One would bully me in a very subtle way that probably wasn’t too obvious to the other parents. She would actually walk past me, and then flip her head back to give me the “stink eye.” I thought the dirty looks ended in high school. I’ll just call the dirty look giver Tina Youthers (of Family Ties fame), because that is what she looks like, a fat Tina Youthers pre celeb weight loss competition. Another mom would hit me up for babysitting constantly after I agreed to babysit just once and never offered to pay me. This got old and I had to give her some lame excuse for why I couldn’t babysit anymore so that she wouldn’t tell the other PTA moms how I double-crossed her.

- Shara

Posted 08/06/09 09:22 PM

 

 

I forgot to write in my last post that while all school districts have a no bulling policy that applies to students, there seems to be little or no support for moms who get bullied by power PTA moms. That is why the quieter, yet hard working PTA moms tend to drop out of the meetings altogether and just resort to helping out in the classroom and donating money to the school. It can be very isolating if you are easily intimidated by the so-called strong personality types. If a shy person complains about being bullied their complaint is often minimized or labeled as “paranoia.”

- Shara

Posted 08/08/09 01:20 AM

 

 

I’m thinking you’re a little passive aggressive yourself, if you can only vocalize this in a blog and not directly to the PTA Czar.

- DH

Posted 09/23/09 06:15 PM

 

 

I really enjoyed this article and reading both sides of the issue. PTA is a wonderful program and really can add a lot to a school, especially if there are involved parents. We’ve been at schools where there are extremely active PTA and Dad’s Club groups, and the opposite - schools with barely a trace of parental involvement. I enjoy trying to help out just to try to give the teachers a break and spend a little time with my child. However, this year I made the mistake of being the classroom mom in my child’s class, not knowing that two of the other kids had the so-called Power PTA Mom’s for parents. Had I known that, there is no way I would have volunteered. They are pushy and demanding, and their expectation of me as a classroom mother are incredibly high, as if this is my full-time job. When they are in the classroom they take over, as if they are the teacher in charge, and have no problem disciplining other children or undermining other people’s efforts. I’ve had to remind them that I am there for the teacher and the kids, and not for them - and if they would like to organize more activities then to please go ahead. I’m glad that people are motivated to help improve their children’s educational experience, I just wish they save the politics and pushiness for an environment that’s more well-suited.

- Angie

Posted 10/09/09 10:57 AM

 

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