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Wife to Sick Husband: Suck it Up!

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Andrea's Mom•Logic: Am I sick? Why is it I have absolutely no sympathy when my husband's under the weather?


When I took my wedding vows I really meant it when I said "in sickness and in health"--as long as the sickness wasn't referring to just a bad cold. Why are men such babies when they're sick? I have proof because I actually HAVE a baby and when I put them side-by-side I can't tell them apart.

This week my husband proceeded to lie in bed for TWO days with a mysterious illness involving sneezing, a sore throat and zero temperature. I finally get him to go to the doctor praying he had strep throat, pneumonia or my favorite, laryngitis! Then at least I could forgive him for sitting in bed flipping through magazines while I lugged bags of dirty diapers out to the trash. He returned with the grave prognosis: The doctor told him he had Acute Viral Nasopharyngitis or in layman's terms a cold, the common kind. You know, that kind of cold that makes you think they should get their ass out of bed.

It's not like I don't have nurturing instincts. If my daughter even clears her throat I descend on her like a medical SWAT team. Not so with DH (Declining Health). He tell me his throat hurts, and I glare at him with (loving) unbridled contempt. I swear I'd have more sympathy if life didn't always have to come to a screeching halt just because he has a case of the sniffles. Dishes don't get done, beds don't get made, kids don't get fed. I swear the house could burst into flames, and he'd only have the energy to hoist another Kleenex to his stuffy nose. When we Moms get sick we power through it, right? I do. I take daytime cold medication, I drink tons of water, and to ensure I don't infect my family, I do shots of Purell®. I beg you, how can I get my husband to suck it up when he gets sick? Or is my only choice to suck it up myself until "til death do us part" kicks in?"

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6 comments so far | Post a comment now
Missgreenjeans January 19, 2008, 8:37 PM

Go to and first read her story of When mom’s get sick, then read, When Husband get’s sick.

It will make you feel alot better.

TinaLouise January 19, 2008, 8:41 PM

My husband is the same, I could just give up on him!!!!

texasishome February 18, 2008, 4:50 PM

Ugh! I feel the exact same way! I never call in sick to work and I don’t know how much more I can put up with my husband calling in for a runny nose. I am on the verge of a breakdown. It’s not once a year, it’s more like once every two weeks. He calls in sick and then doesn’t move from the sofa all day excpet for when he HAS to play hes dang Xbox. I have so much aggression built up I feel like I am going to burst! Are all men this way? My father wasn’t so I don’t know how to handle this type of man.

TNhusband April 7, 2008, 9:25 PM

A few things I’d like to know about your predictament. Do you work outside the home? Why don’t you ask your husband for his opinion of how you are when you’re sick. I’m betting you’re not powering through quite as much as you think. Also when he’s sick dishes don’t get done, beds don’t get made and kids don’t get fed? Is that saying that when he’s not sick he does all of those things? Sound like you’re pushing the inconvinent jobs off on him during normal times and resent the fact that you have to pick up the slack if he’s sick.

Sickness affects people in differnt ways. What is your husbands job? Is is possible that along with having this cold he’s dealing with stress? Things to think about before you throw you contempt.

Ninja January 1, 2009, 10:30 AM

TN husband: No offense, but do you not think us women ALSO have stress? In fact, probably MORE than men?

Fact: if my man is sick, I practically have to blow his nose for him. If I am sick, tough sh*t for me as I am a stay at home mom. I STILL have to watch daughter, clean house, make dinner, do laundry, make beds, etc. I have no leeway to rest, unless I happen to get sick on a weekend, then MAYBE I can have a nap. Maybe. I still get moaned at because the dishes need to be done, garbage taken out, etc. My husband doesn’t even make dinner when I am REALLY ill, it’s a take away. So, sorry, but STFU.

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