Hey, Mr. President, Can You Babysit?

Hey, Mr. President, Can You Babysit?

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

filed under: weird & fun logic

Which Presidential candidate would you let watch your kids?

From Iowa to New Hampshire the presidential race is in full swing. But what busy mom has the time or energy to keep up on all the candidates? We sure don’t.

So we’ve decided to narrow it down by what matters to us—finding a good, reliable babysitter.

Here’s how they measure up:

DEMOCRATS

Hillary Clinton
PROS: Did a great job raising Chelsea.
CONS: Will bore kids silly with passionate explanations re: her failed health bill proposal.

John Edwards:
PROS: Kids will get some kick-ass haircuts.
CONS: You’ll have to refinance your house to pay for them.

Dennis Kucinich
PROS: Will spend billions on the claw at Chuck E. Cheese.
CONS: At only 5’ 7” kids might not take him too seriously.

Barack Obama
PROS: Oprah might stop by!
CONS: So might his eighth cousin, Dick Cheney.

REPUBLICANS

Rudy Giuliani
PROS: Cleaned up New York, so he can clean up a kid’s room.
CONS: His 9/11 themed bedtime stories will scare the sh*t out of your kids.

Mike Huckabee
PROS: Kids will enjoy making fun of his name.
CONS: Will deliver a 5-hour Baptist sermon on the electric guitar.

John McCain
PROS: Spent five and a half years as a P.O.W. He can handle torture.
CONS: Might refer to your kid as that “little jerk.”

Mitt Romney
PROS: Has 5 sons so knows how to give “Big Love.”
CONS: Will try to strap the family dog to the top of his car.

Fred Thompson
PROS: The 6’ 6” actor will immediately intimidate your children
CONS: His idea of playing with the kids is watching Law and Order marathons