Tracy's Mom•Logic: The exciting adventures of buying a bra after Baby.
"Yesterday, it happened. I couldn't go one more day. I had to get a new bra.
Do you have Mom boobs? Becoming a mother does all kinds of things to your mind (and yes, your heart and soul and tolerance for cloying sentiment). But these pale in comparison to its effect on your breasts. Or rather, the Anatomy Previously Known As Your Breasts.
Mine have traveled the bumpy road from 34B to their current postpartum Salma Hayek state of 38D. And they've long since stopped hanging out together. I won't refer to the classic image of the tribal women in the National Geographics we all thumbed through as pre-pubescents, our first exposure to bare naked ladies...but yes, I just did and this is what my breasts most resemble, though they are pasty white and not chocolate-colored. They are large and swinging and...okay, enough.
I was, until today, utterly defiant at the idea of spending another dime on clothing to accommodate my ever- changing shape (having done so for the past 18 months since being heavily pregnant and giving birth the first time). I'd taken to wearing my jogging bras to keep things in order.
Well, I sucked it up (or in) and fully confessed to the mammary authorities. "What can I help you with?" I was asked.
"I'm pregnant and nothing fits. I need help," I murmured, eyeing a black teddy I might have worn in a previous life (like two years ago).
She came back with a variety of options--and with some adjusting, they fit! They made me look better. And yes, I admit, they made me feel better. There was lift, there was support, there was cleavage! MY BOOBS WERE TOGETHER AGAIN. I was still huge, but in a glamorous, Queen Latifah way.
So, swallow your pride (and that last mouthful of chocolate) and go get measured. Admit it--you're bigger (or smaller) than you'd like to be. Accept this and find yourself a real bra shop (no, Victoria's Secret doesn't qualify. Clerks must all be over age 50 and weigh more than 100 pounds). Take control. Own your boobs."
Do you have Mom boobs? Tell us about it in Mom•Logic Community.