Family Says Goodbye to Heath Ledger

Family Says Goodbye to Heath Ledger

Saturday, February 9, 2008

filed under: kid logic

Michelle Williams attends private service in Australia to honor Heath's memory.

Heath Ledger was remembered during a private service in his native Australia today. His former fiancée Michelle Williams without 2-year-old Matilda, joined immediate family and very close friends for the service. The tragic loss of Matilda's father makes many wonder, when should a child attend a funeral--what would be the appropriate age? Mom•Logic friend and family counselor Rosanne Tobey has insight on children attending a loved one's funeral...

• Don't rule it out. The ritual can be a good way to help a child express feelings as well as giving the chance to say goodbye.

• Get a backup plan. If you're going to have a child attend, you definitely must take their needs into consideration. A babysitter or caregiver should be at the ready--someone trusted, who can provide the child comfort; someone who is there to take them outside or home, if and when necessary.

• It's up to the family. Whether a small child should be part of a service or not is really a family's call. Do they have to be there? No. But it's a personal decision. Some parents feel they can't grieve as intensely as they'd like to with their child present; others feel a child provides a source of hope and inspiration at such a difficult time.

Rosanne also says that it's important to take the age of the child into consideration. "An older kid may express that they don't want to go. It's important to remember it doesn't have to be all or nothing--he or she could attend maybe some parts of the ceremony but not all. It's important that they be part of what happens, but certain aspects of the ritual might be too overwhelming. If it's too much for them to handle, give them respect and support for their feelings and don't push." For more from Rosanne Tobey check out her blog.

filed under: kid logic

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The real question is why all this attention on Michelle Williams? Heath Ledger was severely depressed because Williams had broken off their engagement, and made him move out of their home - and reside away from his beloved two year old daugher, Matilda, whom he missed dreadfully - last September. Williams’ choice was the beginning of Heath’s downward spiral ultimately ending January 22nd with his “accidental” death. If Michelle Williams had loved Heath Ledger as much in life as she is in death, he would still be alive.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/11/08 12:00 AM

- Anonymous

Posted 02/11/08 12:00 AM

This story was only advice…………….. The writer was not saying the child attended the Funeral it was just simple advice to a parent in the same position. Wise as she is Michelle knows the child and the age…..who remembers what you did when your 2 years old not many people Matilda was better off not being there, GOOD CALL!

- JC

Posted 02/11/08 12:54 AM

I think the person who made the comment about Matilda being there is saying that the media got the facts wrong… Until your on the other side of something that has massive media attention, you really have NO idea just how wrong the media gets things. All it takes is one person posting a story based on assumptions for the rest of the world to catch on, and then bam… readers seem to think they know fact over fiction when in reality, they have no idea. I never post on anything and god knows why i would here… but you guys calling that girl a dumb F*** makes me sigh and want to say it right back to you. i say this because ive been in the middle of it…. read the tabloid if you want- hell i check in when i get bored- but for the love of god and all humanity- realize its mostly fabricated bullsh*t passed on and rewritten like a 7 year olds game of telephone. you have no idea… no idea.

- Umm

Posted 02/11/08 03:11 AM

ha! Im the idiot and read her comment wrong. same way she read wrong! disregard anything i said about her!

- Ummm 2

Posted 02/11/08 03:16 AM

The FIRST wake/funeral I EVER went to was my grandmother’s when I was 18! I had a VERY hard time with it, as she was, for all intents and purposes my mother (my parents never married, and I didn’t know my father, only child). My point is, it is not so much the age of the child/teen, but what ROLE the deceased had in their life, and what kind of impact that loss could/would have. Fortunately I had my grandfather around (my father for all intents and purposes) until I was 31, and he gave me away on my wedding day.

- Ellie

Posted 02/11/08 07:16 AM

i dont think its right for small children to be included in such things.im 23 and recently lost my husband and father of my at the time 2 1/2 year old daughter.it was a tough decision for me to make because its not something that we can ever do again. i just felt she was too young to even understand it, and seeign myself and her family that upset would be really confusing for her. the only part that she took part in was after his casket was buried i took her and laid a flower on his grave. she didnt understand of course,and i think i did the right thing in not taking her. she just knows now that her daddy is an angel, none of the ugliness of having to see him, or the upset it caused.

- shawna

Posted 02/11/08 02:18 PM

When I was six my grandfather died. I was very close with my grandfather and my grandmother. I was at the wake, in the waiting area. I remember my grandmother picking me up and showing me the flowers through the door way. I remember people scolding my grandmother because I might accidentally see. I saw the casket, the flowers, I did not see the body. I was fine. I trusted my grandmother. On the day of the funeral my sister and I attended the mass. When we got really upset, an uncle took us outside and distracted us for a while. From there I attended the burial. I have a distinct memory of being the third person to place a flower on the coffin, after my grandmother and mother. I remember my grandmother saying good bye to her husband and her tears. As she walked off, I ran up and grabbed her hand. The two of us walked like that hand in hand in our loss. I was honored to not be dismissed as a child. It was a very significant moment for me. I have fond memories of that day for being included in such a significant family event. As a child I grieved the loss of my grandfather, right along side my grandmother. It meant a lot to me. I also understood that death was permanent, as I did when I was told. Today I have no issues with funerals or wakes. They don’t upset me or freak me out. I am grateful for the support of my family in dealing with my first death experience. I have two young children, I would never rob them of the opportunity to attend and grieve the passing of a significant family member in their life. As for Ericson, perhaps he never attended a funeral as a child. The choice of course is different for each individual, but this was my experience.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/11/08 04:25 PM

Eric Ericson is theory not fact.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/11/08 09:09 PM

Shawna, I just read your post & had to write and say how sad for you and your little girl. Wishing you lots of love, peace and happiness.

- JC

Posted 02/13/08 12:01 AM

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