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I Hate This School

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The search for the perfect preschool part three: When a Mom has buyer's remorse


"I did the ultimate search for the right school. Once the winner was chosen, I did whatever I could to get my son in. Game over, right?


The first year of school, I bit my tongue time and time again. His teacher was mediocre at best and because of a language barrier, she used words I found offensive to children. For example, when my 2-year-old son finally stopped tearing up after two weeks of going to school consisently she said, 'He wasn't a cry baby at all today."

 Did you just call my kid a cry baby? Never mind the time I found my son outside the classroom at pick up time.

When I requested a specific teacher for the next year, not only did they not fulfill my request, not one person contacted me in order to tell me that he would not be getting the preferred teacher. Maybe this isn't the end of the world, but it definitely felt like they were showing me who's in charge. And Mama don't play that -- it makes me feel like I'm being held captive by a bad school because I'm afraid there's nothing better out there.

Now, I'm enrolling my kids in two preschools for September, the one they're already in and a back up. Is there something better out there, or am I just setting my sights a bit too high?"

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8 comments so far | Post a comment now
Annonymous February 4, 2008, 1:52 PM

The problem is not that your sights are to high. The problem is they are to low.

Ginny February 4, 2008, 1:57 PM

Oh man. Is it good to hear we are not the only ones! My husband and I just took our 4-year-old out of her preschool (Goddard-supposed to be one of the best) and will be starting her in a new one next week.

We never felt truly welcome in the school we decided on a year ago. But we tried to make it work. We had two good teachers, and then some that were very inexperienced and lacked confidence. It was very frustrating. We pay way too much to be training newbies all the time! I shouldn’t have to keep visiting the classroom to make sure that things are the way they should be.

The last time I visited my daughter’s room, the kids were working on a project and were told to make a pattern. The teacher didn’t ask if anyone knew what one was, didn’t model it, and didn’t make corrections when they did it wrong. Later I found out that the purpose of the activity was to identify a square!! That was IT for me.

I don’t think it’s asking too much at all to expect a certain level of professionalism and experience. Not only are we are paying them to provide a service, we are entrusting them with our most precious possession, our children.

If you have suspicions that things aren’t right, they probably aren’t. You should visit their rooms to see for yourself if you are getting what you are paying for.

Anonymous February 4, 2008, 2:22 PM

Annonymous, (ha - that’s funny)
What do you mean? Can you explain? Although I think it’s funny that you think the writer sets her sights too low and you can’t spell.

Amy February 4, 2008, 5:32 PM

I just registered my 4yr old for a new preschool this morning. I had him in a preschool this past fall for about 2 months. Towards the end of October a boy in his class took a toy from him and my son scratched the little boy trying to get the toy back. He was then told by the teacher that if the little boy’s parents called the police they might come and take him away. It’s been about 3 months now and he has just now stopped asking me if the police are coming to take him away every 10 minutes. I had never seen him as upset as he was that night. I think having a school on the back burner is a great idea because if your town is like mine, getting a spot in a “good” preschool is like hitting the jackpot and like us, when things went wrong we had nowhere else to go.

Megan February 4, 2008, 5:37 PM

Amy, that’s TERRIBLE. You were smart to pull him out. It really is like hitting the jackpot, isn’t it?!

Lynne February 5, 2008, 11:33 AM

If kids can’t cut it in preschool how are they going to make it when they have to go to elementary school? IMO preschool is a glorified babysitting service for Moms how want to get rid of their kids for a few hours.

Anonymous February 5, 2008, 2:24 PM

Where should they be then, home making cookies with mommy? Preschool is key for socializing BEFORE Kindergarten so they’re not completely expected to follow the rules and learn so much.

Megan2 February 7, 2008, 12:01 AM

Lynne obviously has no children. Why should anyone, especially a 4 year-old have to “cut it” anywhere?

I’m right there with you on the pre-school remorse thing. Generally I think as parents we’re screwed unless we want to homeschool with a bunch of our friends and their kids. I’m on my second pre-school and it’s a joke really. I’m leaving my kid there just because he’s been moved around so much already. Ugh.

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