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One Mom Says: 'I Resent My Husband!'

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"He has more freedom than I do, and I'm pissed."

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"I'm finding more and more lately that I resent my husband. I'm a stay-at-home mom and I take the job very seriously. My husband works many hours, so he's hardly ever home. He complains about missing everything our son does and misses out on family time. On his days off, though, all he wants to do is plant himself on the sofa and watch sports. Next week, he's going to a concert. I try to be happy for him, but I'm pissed instead. I feel like I'm always stuck at home. He says, 'Well, get out more. Go do stuff!' It's not always that easy when there is so much to do here—meals to cook, a baby to take care of, a house to clean, etc.

My husband also does nothing around here. I feel like he thinks he doesn't have to because he works outside of the house. Also, he makes it seem like he needs peace and quiet more than I do, or like he needs a break more than I do. I work just as hard if not harder than he does. Are my concerns valid or am I whining too much?"
- Anonymous

Click here to respond to this fed-up Mom.


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3 comments so far | Post a comment now
Mommyof3 May 7, 2008, 9:42 AM

I totally know where you are coming from. I have 2 children though and a 3rd on the way and he still acts this way. He acts as though my pregnancy is just another cliche thing that is no big deal. I have grown to dispise him more and more everyday! So I am totlly in sync with what you are feeling!

guilty of resentment August 11, 2008, 5:31 PM

Ok… I love my husband, but I can’t stand how lazy and clueless he can be. It has driven me to scream, shout and yell, which I later regret. I know that household chores are not something I should get mad about, but they are chores, and someone has to do them! My husband had days when he works all day, and then there are days when he is home by noon. He spends his afternoon sleeping on the couch, or watching TV, while I try to write my thesis, cook, clean, do laundry, and then he wonders what’s taking me so long to finish school. I also resent him more now beacuse of his lack of compassion towards me when it comes to his sister passing snide remarks and his father flat out disrespcting me. I know that my reaction to them is what escaltes the problem, but why do they say these things to me, and why doesn’t he sort them out? He even told me that his parents are moving in with us in 6 months, and naturally I freaked out. He said that if there are problems they will all be my fault. I want to leave him, but I don’t have a job yet. He is much more sardonic than I ever thought he would be. Sometimes I wish I didn’t wake up the next day.

Christina Nunn December 27, 2010, 8:28 PM

Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. My husband works the typical M-F 9-5:30 job with weekends and holidays off, plus at least 4 weeks of vacations a year. When he’s not at work, he is either playing computer and video games or watching tv. I feel so very lonely and neglected, and I’m very resentful. I honestly cannot wait for our 3 year old son to be old enough to say “why does daddy never play with me?”! I do about 99% of the cooking and cleaning (actually, ALL of the cooking, which doesn’t bother me nearly as bad as the cleaning, which is very hard for me to do all the time because I have had recent back surgery). Try having a hubby who is never there to help you even when you have serious medical problems. I just had a tumor removed from my spine and have more surgeries ahead of me, but instead of wanting to help lighten my load a little, he is encouraging me to file disability so he can use the handicap parking placard at his job! I feel very used when he says things like this. I don’t really think he loves me much anymore, and my love for him is becoming more distant by the day. Someone please help me!!!


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