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Mommy Has Cancer

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Kirston's Mom•Logic: Telling my son I had cancer was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.


Kirston says: The first time I had breast cancer, I didn’t have to worry about telling my son. He was six months old. He had pushed my milky breasts away weeks before, declaring himself a bottle man. It was then I discovered what I had been told was a swollen milk duct was a tumor. Timing is everything, and I think my son's bottle preference possibly saved my life. He seemed to love me even more bald. (I looked like him.)

This time, I knew it wouldn’t be so easy. Charlie was about to turn seven, so he knew what cancer was and what it meant. Plus, he had the uncanny ability to hear every conversation in the house, no matter how hushed. I avoided telling him for a couple of weeks. Saying I had cancer again would make it real, and I clung to the days of him seeing me as someone who was healthy and strong.

When I finally told him, he said he would be embarrassed when I lost my hair. That really broke my heart. I told him he could give me a Mohawk, which cheered him up—temporarily.

One day when I was working in his classroom, Charlie asked his teacher to tell the class why my hair kept changing. (I was wearing a pink wig that day.) She told the kids I had cancer and had to take strong medicine that made my hair fall out. A girl raised her hand and said, "My grandma had cancer and she died." I watched my son’s face fall.

After school, I said, “I’m not going to die, Charlie." He asked me how I knew, and I didn’t have a good answer. Hope is all I’ve got, and some day he’ll understand that.

To read more from Kirston, check out the Daily Cents blog here.

next: I Hate Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
7 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous February 6, 2008, 9:32 PM

Keep fighting!

Anonymous February 7, 2008, 1:01 AM

YOU ROCK, Kirston!

maricarmaria December 9, 2008, 7:01 PM

no processed foods, less sugar, less salt will help

Fitztwins May 13, 2009, 11:23 AM

Your son looks like my twins. They are eight. They were 4 when I was first diagnosed. Now dx with mets. They really don’t get it. One asked me if I had cancer yesterday, the other said no she just got a new hip.

This is the hardest thing we ever have to do. And to Maricamaria…nothing we ate or did caused our cancer. Your post was insensitive.

AngelicaPhillips18 August 24, 2010, 12:59 AM

Houses are not cheap and not everyone can buy it. However, home loans was invented to support people in such situations.

Cleveland Tomlison September 8, 2010, 3:40 AM

Such an amazing Write-up! I Actually enjoy Reading through it, very good insights, the Write-up is very ell-Stated. A thumbs up!

Ten Tees January 8, 2011, 6:41 PM

Interesting info. Good reading. I’ve got a single thing to make about shirts.

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