Damn, Your Baby is Ugly!

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Damn, Your Baby is Ugly!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Guest blogger Karyn Bryant on coming face to face with a baby who's less than a looker.

I know all babies are "beautiful and special" and all that, but have you ever been introduced to a baby who was, honestly, not that cute? You look up with trepidation to see proud parents waiting for the compliments. So, what do you say? Conventional wisdom says to lie like a steroid-bloated baseballer at a congressional hearing and say, "He's/She's gorgeous!"

But I say there's a way to sound like you're giving a compliment without having to cross your fingers behind your back. My English teacher recommended to me years ago, "Now that's a baby!" The beauty of this is that the blob in the Bugaboo is, most likely, in fact a baby. No lie there! And by giving it a bit of enthusiasm the parents will hear, "That is simply the most perfect specimen of humanity I've ever seen!" It's a win-win for both parties if you ask me. Feel free to try these out:

You Say: "Oh my goodness, you must be so excited!"
You Mean: At least the little monster isn't making your feet swell any more.

You say: "Look at those eyes!"
You mean: That's the only thing I don't mind looking at.

You say: "He looks just like your husband!"
You mean: He looks just like your husband. Too bad.

You say: "She's a doll!"
You mean: "Like one of those Bratz. Yuck.

You say: "He's precious."
You mean: We all love something no one else does.

You say: "She's amazing/incredible/unbelievable/astonishing/extraordinary!"
You mean: I really hope my baby doesn't look like that.

There are probably countless ways to sound complimentary without actually compromising yourself. I'd love to hear some new suggestions if anyone has any. Right now though, I've got to decide if I should chew out the lady who said my daughter's hair was "remarkable"....

For more from Karyn Bryant, click here.

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I see babies day in and day out where I work. I may be called upon to have to use one of these ‘compliments’ one of these days! Great idea for a post!

- Devilish Southern Belle

Posted 03/02/08 10:57 PM

I’ve also found that “what a sweetheart!” is pretty effective!

- RK

Posted 03/04/08 06:47 AM

My husband’s nephew and his wife had a little girl last year a month before ours was born and she’s the ugliest child I’ve ever laid eyes on. When they come over the mom looks at my daughter and kept saying over and over, “she’s so beautiful”, then looking at hers with this sad look on her face. I really felt bad for her. My other friend has a fugly little baby boy and she’s always like “when they grow up they’re gonna get married”, I’m like uh no, my baby’s gonna have better taste than that. That’s a horrible thing to say I know. Just glad I was blessed with a gorgeous baby.

- ashley

Posted 03/04/08 09:58 AM

I was so worried, before my daughter was born because of attitudes like this… that she’d come out looking different, or people would think she was “ugly” because I’ve talked with so many people (in my husband’s family to) who swear there ARE some very ugly babies, and it actually just breaks my heart to hear it. I’ve seen many babies, as I have a degree in ECE, and this is no lie… I don’t believe I’ve ever seen an ugly baby. Their so innocent, and their little spirits just shine through, I can’t see it! lol There are some VERY ugly people in this world.. but babies? Maybe you’re seeing them too superficially

- Katie

Posted 03/06/08 08:05 PM

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