Damn, Your Baby is Ugly!

Damn, Your Baby is Ugly!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

filed under: karyn bryant

Guest blogger Karyn Bryant on coming face to face with a baby who's less than a looker.

I know all babies are "beautiful and special" and all that, but have you ever been introduced to a baby who was, honestly, not that cute? You look up with trepidation to see proud parents waiting for the compliments. So, what do you say? Conventional wisdom says to lie like a steroid-bloated baseballer at a congressional hearing and say, "He's/She's gorgeous!"

But I say there's a way to sound like you're giving a compliment without having to cross your fingers behind your back. My English teacher recommended to me years ago, "Now that's a baby!" The beauty of this is that the blob in the Bugaboo is, most likely, in fact a baby. No lie there! And by giving it a bit of enthusiasm the parents will hear, "That is simply the most perfect specimen of humanity I've ever seen!" It's a win-win for both parties if you ask me. Feel free to try these out:

You Say: "Oh my goodness, you must be so excited!"
You Mean: At least the little monster isn't making your feet swell any more.

You say: "Look at those eyes!"
You mean: That's the only thing I don't mind looking at.

You say: "He looks just like your husband!"
You mean: He looks just like your husband. Too bad.

You say: "She's a doll!"
You mean: "Like one of those Bratz. Yuck.

You say: "He's precious."
You mean: We all love something no one else does.

You say: "She's amazing/incredible/unbelievable/astonishing/extraordinary!"
You mean: I really hope my baby doesn't look like that.

There are probably countless ways to sound complimentary without actually compromising yourself. I'd love to hear some new suggestions if anyone has any. Right now though, I've got to decide if I should chew out the lady who said my daughter's hair was "remarkable"....

For more from Karyn Bryant, click here.

filed under: karyn bryant

| Bookmark | Permalink |

Email | Comments (10)

10 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

I see babies day in and day out where I work. I may be called upon to have to use one of these ‘compliments’ one of these days! Great idea for a post!

- Devilish Southern Belle

Posted 03/02/08 10:57 PM

I’ve also found that “what a sweetheart!” is pretty effective!

- RK

Posted 03/04/08 06:47 AM

My husband’s nephew and his wife had a little girl last year a month before ours was born and she’s the ugliest child I’ve ever laid eyes on. When they come over the mom looks at my daughter and kept saying over and over, “she’s so beautiful”, then looking at hers with this sad look on her face. I really felt bad for her. My other friend has a fugly little baby boy and she’s always like “when they grow up they’re gonna get married”, I’m like uh no, my baby’s gonna have better taste than that. That’s a horrible thing to say I know. Just glad I was blessed with a gorgeous baby.

- ashley

Posted 03/04/08 09:58 AM

I was so worried, before my daughter was born because of attitudes like this… that she’d come out looking different, or people would think she was “ugly” because I’ve talked with so many people (in my husband’s family to) who swear there ARE some very ugly babies, and it actually just breaks my heart to hear it. I’ve seen many babies, as I have a degree in ECE, and this is no lie… I don’t believe I’ve ever seen an ugly baby. Their so innocent, and their little spirits just shine through, I can’t see it! lol There are some VERY ugly people in this world.. but babies? Maybe you’re seeing them too superficially

- Katie

Posted 03/06/08 08:05 PM

That’s hilarious. I’ve had many moments like this. My cousins baby is kind of ugly. I just told her “Oh wow, she’s got a head full of hair!” and “Aww, look at her 10 little fingers and 10 little toes” I also said “Aww look at those eyelashes” pretty much anything but say she’s cute or gorgeous or whatever…lololol

- CherryGlitter

Posted 05/28/09 10:09 PM

Im going to laugh if those “ugly” babies grow up to become beautiful, and the :gorgeous: baby grows up to be, well, something else. lol.

- Anonymous

Posted 06/17/09 01:42 PM

I was worried that I would be the one with the ugly baby. But you know, when it’s yours, even when you know they look funny and they aren’t that cute you still can’t help but think they’re the cutest little things ever! Which is the way it should be. But I’m also with Katie professing to never have seen an ugly baby. Mostly because, like she said, their little spirits shine thru and makes them all beautiful.

- Jenna

Posted 09/01/09 09:46 AM

I agree with Katie and Jenna I’ve never seen any ugly babies. All of them are beautiful! But, I’ll sure keep those niceties in mind when adults ask me of their opinions of their makeup, boy/girlfriends, fiances etc.

- piazee

Posted 09/05/09 04:17 PM

My mom has a go-to phrase for babies who are less-than-adorable: she always says, “What a precious baby!” Because ALL babies are precious. The good thing is, usually “ugly” babies are just going through an awkward phase, and grow into adorable toddlers and pretty cute kids!

- Laura aka LaLaGirl

Posted 10/07/09 09:38 AM

Oh my goodness! As an Aunt I can honestly say we have had some very ugly babies born into our family LOL One baby was (and still is) the ugliest child I have ever seen! Then we have the cockroach child (shudders) I swear this kids face/head reminds me of a cockroach, and there is also the niece we refer to as rat girl. She has this pinched up, ratty looking face and a shrill voice to match UGH!!! One of our neighbors has a little girl who looks just like rat child. She screams to talk in this shrill, nerve racking voice as well. Let’s face it, some kids are just not “pretty”

- Anon

Posted 10/07/09 09:55 AM