Mom•Logic's Andrea: "When an Connecticut eighth grader got suspended for buying a bag of Skittles, it made me think ... How can I get my kid into that school district?!"

How innocent a place is the Sheridan Magnet School, the school that busted eighth grader Michael Sheridan for buying bags of Skittles (no word on whether it was original or tropical fruit flavor). I guess it's not much different than the junior high near me—kids there are ALSO dealing Skittles, that is if "Skittles" is a new slang for crack. Sheridan Magnet School sounds like paradise. I bet instead of patting kids down for weapons, they have them turn out their pockets to check for slingshots and frogs. "Come on Beaver, empty those pockets or you won't be able to play marbles at recess."

Hey, I wouldn't mind living in "Mayberry," where that ugly term for "brown-nosing" is replaced by the hygienic "apple polisher." Try sending a kid to school with an apple in my school district, and they'll send a bomb squad to detonate it. Now, while everyone is coming down on Sheridan for their zero-tolerance for candy selling, I'm packing up my family for Connecticut. What's the worst that could happen out there--the kids get a few more cavities?