Mom•Logic's Julie: I adore my kids, but there's a whole lotta fighting going on.
When I heard about the study that found Moms and toddlers argue 20-25 times per hour on average, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Thank God I'm not the only one!
I love my children more than life itself, but sometimes (okay, most
times) they drive me freaking nuts. Everything--and I do mean
everything--is a production.
"I don't want to wear the pink shirt!," "I
don't like sauce on my pasta!" "I want to cut my bangs myself!"...the
complaints go on and on.
And me? I know I sound like a broken record. Phrases like "Listen to
Mommy!" "Do that one more time and you're getting a time-out," and
"Why? Because I said so!" come out of my mouth so often, even I'm
getting tired of
hearing them. I knew I'd fight with my kids when they were tweens and teens, but I had no idea how much we'd fight and squabble when they were so young.
How often do you fight with your kids?
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filed under: kid logic
Email8 comments so far | Post a comment now >>
If there is sucha a thing as more thn everyday then that would be how much I fight with my 5 yr old and her 2 yr old brother. My daughter is also testing the waters with talking back and telling ME what she is going to do and what I need to be doing… It makes me think of when I was a kid and how I would never dare speak to my parents that way or even give them the wrong look. God, even now I at 27 I still wouldn’t think to talk back to my mom out of fear of getting a smack… and yes, at 27 I still can be spanked by my mom… I think thats a latin thing..
- Lauren
This makes me feel soooooo much better! I have a 4 year old daughter and the 20 to 25 times per hour sounds about right to me! I often feel like I’m a bad mother either because of the unruley way that she is behaving or because I feel like I may have no patience with her. But if this is something that all mothers of toddlers are going through then I am truely relieved! I do wish that there was a way to just stop this though, because I get really stressed out about it and sometimes feel like my head might explode, plus I always feel guilty afterward even though she most likely deserved it.
- melanie
I just try to choose my battles- it’s not really important that her shirt doesn’t match her pants or that her tights clash with her skirt. Did I wish she always looked cute & put together? Sure. But it’s not the end of the world if she insists on soaping herself up and then skipping most of her body. I try to give her as many chances to make a choice as possible- hopefully making her feel more like she is in charge. What do you want for lunch? We have stuff for quesadillas, or pb&j. I have a snack basket so she can just pick out things she feels like. I have learned that she knows what she wants. And what’s most important is spending time with her and trying to ENJOY that time.
- Kendra
Wow. I can’t tell you how glad I am to read all of this. It is always nice to know I’m not alone in my struggles as a mom. I have two girls, 4 and 2, and I swear all I do some days is referee and say “do this or don’t do that or are you listening to me?” It’s just so hard when you are in the heat of the moment, and you have told them for the 10th time to do or stop doing something. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. But I sure wish there was somewhere we could go that could teach us how to… “How to stop the power struggles.” “How to let unimportant things not bother you.” “How to keep your oldest child’s behavior from regressing and acting like her little sister.” “How to finish a task you start when you are consistently interrupted.” And the list goes on. It’s kind of funny. Before you have kids you think being a parent is about you teaching them how to live, respect others and have an honorable life. To love them, have a good time with them and teach them to serve others. It is definitely all of that. But who knew that being a parent is just as much about learning as it is about teaching.
- Ginny
reading this story is like reading a page out of my diary. Nice to know I’m not alone in this—thank you for being so honest (lots of times it feels like we’re supposed to be perfect) I can’t tell you how much better reading this makes me feel.
- bethe
I wish I could say that by 7 y/o this fades away. It starts at 3.5 and hasn’t stopped. I have ammassed more patience in that time, but it is never enough to cope with a whining little girl.If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was PMS some days. But she is still the most awesome, fun loving, cute and cuddly little girl I rocked to sleep at night. I just need to keep that in my mind when the shrieks can potentially break glass. Choosing battles helps, but they are always changing. From I “don’t want to wear that”, to “why can’t I wear makeup?”
- Phyllis
Yes…I feel less guilty now after reading so many accounts…no thier life doesn’t sound a bit different than mine..I have two girls..4 and half yrs and another one 9 months… … I accept I loose it sometimes and smack her….and later feel so horrible…I apologize and promise her never to do that again and that happens again[:(]….I feel horrible… it is going on like a cycle…except that frequency of smacking has become very low…now but i want it to stop toatlly!!
- kidsrule!
Wow! Thank goodness this is all normal! I thought I was losing it with the daily battles with my kids ages 5 and 2. They are the sweetest kids, but seem so naughty sometimes. I am a referee between the two of them and seem to be in constant battle with the 5 yr old. I expect trouble from the 2 yr old, after all it is called the terrible twos! The 5 yr old seems to want to see how far she can push it. She gets mouthy and she is constantly being stripped of her privledges for it(toys, tv, treats). She started Kindergarten this year, so I know that is an adjustment but it seems that it is more than just that. Sometimes it seems that she is regressing in her behavior. I am completely exhausted by the end of the day! Please tell me this does change soon .. .as I will need a few years before the tween years start ..ugh!
- it's a dry heat
