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PiscesMy Kid: Second Best Thing Ever
Mom•Logic's Andrea asks, "Can't a Mom be proud of any other accomplishment besides motherhood?"
I was on a play date with a group of mothers and the conversation
turned to world travel and our favorite trips. I happily chimed in,
"The best thing I've ever
done was completing a solo trek to the base of Mount Everest!"
The
conversation came to a screeching halt. (Cue the needle dragged across
a record sound effect). Four women glared at me in disbelief. One Mom
nudged me nervously, "Don't you mean," she said desperately covering
for me, "your biggest accomplishment is your daughter?"
She pointed at my 2-year-old as if to jog my memory of her birth. I did my best to cover, "What am I saying? I mean next to Lily of course," I said, beaming at my daughter who had just shoved a handful of dirt into her mouth. Whew! I made it out of one of the biggest mothering faux-pas there is--not professing that motherhood has completed me. Made me whole. Validated my existence. You had me at hello.
When you become a Mom, suddenly everything else you have ever done is supposed to pale in comparison. I have friends who have published books, jumped out of planes, cured cancer (OK, not really, but if I did I would love to hear them backpedal on that one). Ask a Mom who's just endured a 15-minute non-stop tantrum with a finale that involved hurling an opened bag of flour onto the kitchen floor what she's most proud of--but give her a glass of wine first--she'll need it.
Please, I beg you, don't misunderstand. I love my daughter more than I thought it was humanly possible to love a another human being. I would do anything and everything for her. She brings me joy every day. But I've got to say when I finally reached 14,800 feet at the base of the highest mountain on earth, it was pretty damn awesome. There, I said it.
Is having a child what you're most proud of? Don't worry, you can comment anonymously, no one will ever know the truth.
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- 8 Comments
just having kids is not an accomplishment at all - any idiot can get knocked up. It’s how you raise them. Instilling a good sense of morals, teaching them to think for themselves and question everything—be inquisitive about life and its mysteries and to not accept things for face value or to believe every little thing they’re told—if you can do that, I’d say that’s an accomplishment :)
Seeing as I was 18 when I had my son, no it was not my greatest accomplishment. But I agree with BirdsFly. If I can raise him to be properly that will be a great accomplishment. I do love my son very much and am so glad he is here. He has chnaged my life. But he is not my greatest accomplishment.
Andrea, it’s so cool you made it to the base of Everest! Whoa! You Go Girl! That’s amazing… Yes and that’s what Lily’s going to think when you tell her that story. She’s going to think you are amazing and strong and will dream of being the same. You ponder now if she is the greatest thing you’ve ever done? I bet one day she will amaze you too and that’s when you’ll know for sure it’s a yes!
I totally hear where you’re coming from—I am proud of my kids and also feel like I am more than their mother, yes I’m really proud to have that title and honored to be rasing such beautiful human beings and also, there is more to me than being a parent as well. I haven’t climbed Everest, but I agree with anonymous that is an amazing story to be able to tell your daughter. You go.
Sounds like you need to hang around mom friends who aren’t so uptight. Completing solo trek to the base of Mount Everest is a huge accomplishment!
First my off-topic comment: When I saw the photo I thought it was going to say that the green punching balloon was the best thing ever. ‘Cause my son is sure that’s the case.
And now on-topic: after my son was born I made it my mini-mission to tell all my pregnant friends that they might NOT be happy and fulfilled and complete and serene when you get home. I think there’s huge pressure to feel that way, or act like we feel that way.
Thank you!!I agree whole-heartedly. Lots of women continue to pop out babies left and right. They shouldn’t receive a medal for it if they can’t see that they are raised to be positive contributions to society.
Slightly off topic, but have I noticed that a single Dad will almost always be treated as a saint. Women coo “Look how wonderful he is with HIS children?”. But how is it that a single mom struggling to raise her kids on a budget is regarded as irresponsible or some how at fault for having kids outside of marriage? Talk about a double standard!
As far as children being an accomplishment… I don’t think having them qualifies (Not really a skill that you perfect or anything…). Raising them properly and seeing them succeed could qualify. I don’t think at this point that I have one really great accomplishment, I collect a lot of little ones!