twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Transgender Teen Tells Her Story

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

In her own words, a transgender teen talks candidly about acceptance and tolerance.


We were shocked by the recent murder of 15-year-old Lawrence King--a young boy who was openly gay and reportedly wore mascara, lipstick and jewelry to school. Transgender teens have been in the spotlight lately and have left a lot of parents at a loss when it comes to talking to their own kids. Rika, pictured, a 17-year-old boy who came out as a girl during her freshman year (pictured), sheds a little light on the world of transgender teenagers.

Mom Logic: How did your parents react when you realized that you were really a girl?

Rika: I was in this depressive state. I didn't know if I was gay. I had good friends I was able to connect with, but I wasn't really sure of myself. At that point it was a taboo thing for me to wear female clothing. I was doing badly in school. And my parents asked me questions to know what was wrong and to help them help me. Finally I came out and told them, "Yes I am transgender." Then we went to Puerto Rico and I wore feminine clothing comfortably. That was my freshman year of high school. At that point, I went to a therapist and she said, "Well, she knows that she is a girl and it would be more polite to refer to her as 'her.'"

Mom Logic: How have you had to endure slurs or insults?

Rika: Honestly, I don't know where people get the balls to come up to a girl and say, "Are you a guy?" That is the most hurtful thing someone has said. When someone says something that is really vile or evil, there is obviously more of a problem with you than with me, because I am confident with who I am. That question is offensive because even if I was born female, why would you come up to me and ask me that question?

Mom Logic: How has your Mom been supportive?

Rika: When it comes down to it, she doesn't hear what I say and say "Ohmigosh!" She has always been the person who has been open about sexuality and people being themselves. A lot of things that I am able to talk to my Mom about are things that people would not be able to talk to their parents about. She is really good at asking questions, and it helps me to be free to explore my sexuality. I think in the beginning she was saddened by the fact that I was her only son, and she felt like she was mourning her son. I was offended by that, because I said, "I was never your son. I was always your daughter." But she got over that really fast. I give a lot of credit to my Mom. There's no real strife between us. Other than that, we've always had our teenage struggles.

Mom Logic: What are your tips for Moms and teens who have friends that are transgender?

Rika: Honestly, one of the main things is that you have to reinforce confidence. No matter what decision your child makes, it is still your child. A lot of parents try to control their kids. It's not up to parents anymore what decision the child has to make. By neglecting giving them love you don't help them develop the confidence to stand up to other people. I am grateful that my parents gave me the confidence to say you can be female! It's a beautiful thing to be transgender, you can take both aspects of male and female and make a new person. For a parent it's about reinforcing what they are naturally. Nurture their natural tendencies and watch him develop. As for other teens, if you're not going to accept me, I'm not going to accept you. If you can't be supportive, you probably need to end the friendship, because the person who isn't transgender will probably be uncomfortable, and the person who is won't feel comfortable to be who they are.

next: Are You Turning into Your Mother?
62 comments so far | Post a comment now
Annah Moore March 13, 2008, 3:51 PM

Nicely stated, Rika. Stay strong and stay proud!


Brenda Jean Louise March 13, 2008, 5:22 PM

Way to go, Rika, Your willingness to be public with your transition will hopefully touch the hearts of more than a few parents of transgendered children.
It’s high time that parents realize that being transgendered is not some kind of perversion, but a medical and psychological way of life, that needs the parents to be open and understanding of their child. When I was a kid, it was a very different story with my parents. Because of their negativity, I lived with shame, anguish, and fear for most of my life. Then finally, I got up the courage to publicaly out myself and go through with my transition. Being 48 at the time, it made life much harder for me to go through my transition. I mourn the fact that I could have done this in my early teens.
Brenda Jean Louise

ninaabaybee && 3menda March 28, 2008, 1:26 PM

nina: wow meng thats humm deep?
LOl nah buhon some serious shyt thats
go0d that u floowed what u wanted to do0

3menda:kinda tuff
but as long as u beingwuh chu wuan to n following wuh chu think izs best for uu den u gwd
behh wuh chu wuan n dun let otherzs put chuu down

Denise January 13, 2009, 3:28 AM

grt8 interview keep it up iam a transgender teen too and i know whats shes talk abt… thanks xoxoxoxo


???????? February 28, 2009, 11:10 AM

That’s awesome! I wish i could tell my paremts that i’m relly a girl. I would dress like a girl but im not confident enough. I would wore dresses and pretend i was a princess when i was little, but my parents would get mad, so now i’m scared to come out and say that im really a girl. I have been made fun of because my parents are lesbian and i don’t feel that i would be safe if i wore the clothes of the gender i really am. Over half the kids at my school think i’m gay, and when i told my mom’s they said they would love me no matter what. i believe them but it’s just so hard. i’m going to start talking to the school counciler about it. Rock on Rika!!!!!!!!

xxxx May 11, 2010, 8:20 AM

hmm, bumping into a real old thread here…
i cant even tell my parents i am Gay :S tried tellin mom wen i was 16 (n tht was 9 yrs ago)… n she misunderstood me or sumthin, n thot i was just in tht phase tht i wasnt sure or w/e… cant even imagine tellin dad, will directly get a kick in the butt outta the house.
so takin my time… wen i can earn enuff to look after myself, i’ll do it.

Watch Movies Online December 8, 2010, 7:24 AM

I added a plug to this website at my website. So, Im positive am certain most individuals overlook all the points you are discussing.

Get More Facebook Fans December 9, 2010, 11:35 AM

All new to me; I wasn’t acutely aware of the numerous ramifications and intensity to the story until I searched right here through Google! Just right job.

phen375 review January 6, 2011, 10:01 PM

Women generally speaking aren’t looking to lose enormous numbers of pounds for the most part. A lot of the men and women making use of phen375 are just trying to lose 5 to Twenty-five lbs typically as well as usually it’s stomach fat. Most are healthful, go to the fitness center type individuals. They simply weren’t capable of drop body fat on their tummy or perhaps have reached the Plato. Abdominal fat issues typically begin to happen for girls at about the time associated with or right after giving birth and also later in age pre and post being menopausal. It appears to hit women although right now there hormonal levels are usually changing; it’s an ordinary procedure for existence or perhaps is it? I will explain to you that the real excess fat saved in the particular belly or belly region is different and the a lot more you’ve got than it the actual whores your own hormone discrepancy can be.

Seema Migneault February 15, 2011, 2:58 PM

I just want to say I am just very new to weblog and honestly enjoyed this page. Likely I’m planning to bookmark your site . You actually have great articles. Appreciate it for sharing with us your web site.

3 peaks challenge March 6, 2011, 4:29 PM

A really good set of info which I will be certainly coming back to read again. Thanks very much to all those who contribute.

artemis fowl the atlantis complex pdf March 15, 2011, 1:51 PM

Hello. excellent job. I did not anticipate this. This is a excellent story. Thanks! %WEBSITE%

water damage March 18, 2011, 1:33 AM

I have added you to my RSS feeder to stay up to date.

Cosmetic Surgery Fort Worth March 23, 2011, 11:00 AM

I have to admit that i generally get bored to read the whole thing however i believe you can add some value. Bravo !

dofollow diver March 29, 2011, 1:23 PM

There are a lot of strange comments on here.

Nickole Lavezzo March 30, 2011, 5:32 PM

I’d must examine with you here. Which is not one thing I usually do! I enjoy studying a put up that may make folks think. Additionally, thanks for permitting me to remark!

savings interest calculator March 30, 2011, 10:50 PM

@Markus I get your drift on where you were going there. I often think of my past and use it as a means to analyze where I am and where I want to get to. Where I struggel is balancing it all out. How do you guys balance things out?

playbook apps March 31, 2011, 1:16 AM

Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

remote computer repair March 31, 2011, 3:10 PM

Definitely consider that which you stated. Your favourite justification appeared to be on the net the simplest factor to remember of. I say to you, I definitely get irked even as other people consider issues that they plainly do not realize about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top neatly as defined out the whole thing without having side effect , other folks can take a signal. Will probably be again to get more. Thanks

high pr do follow blogs April 1, 2011, 3:58 AM

Good stuff

Back to top >>