Two is Enough!
Guest blogger Role Mommy says her baby shop is closed, but her husband still wants more.
I recently read in OK! Magazine that actress and mom of two, Angie Harmon, would love to have two more kids, while her husband, athlete Jason Sehorn, would like to stop at three. It's good to know that celebrities are having the same raging debate that's going on in my own home. Should we have more kids or shouldn't we?
Personally, I come from a typical nuclear family (mom, dad, boy, girl) and was completely thrilled when I popped out a girl and then a boy three years later. For me, my years as a baby maker were over. That is, until my husband, who was an only child, informed me that he'd really love to have a third child.
In fact, he's so gung ho about adding another member to our family that he'd even be willing to adopt if I'd let him. He figures the reason I don't want to have another child is because I hate being pregnant. Sure, the weight gain is a bit troubling - I put on nearly 45 pounds last go round - but my real concern is whether I'll be a good mom with three kids in tow.
I'm already pretty scatterbrained with two. We're constantly running from one activity to another and while my daughter has been begging me to help her with her latest school project, a family tree, I'm busy working on several of my own assignments and haven't had time to sit down and share stories about my own grandparents who ironically came from a family of six and eight - what were my great grandmothers thinking anyway?
Plus, it's actually kind of nice that my kids are at the age where they're almost self sufficient. They may not be able to make themselves hot chocolate, but they can pour their own cereal, get themselves dressed and brush their teeth without me having to do it for them. Having older kids is kind of liberating. What scares me is if I add a baby back into the mix that I'll be back at square one.
How would I handle sleep deprivation, breast feeding and school schedules and keep up with my career? Would I be too distracted to devote time to all my kids? Would someone lose out in the mix and would that someone be me? Don't get me wrong, I love babies and I love it even more when they're at the age where they can fit in the crook of your arm, but I just think that I'm a good parent with two kids. I may wind up being a crappy mom with three.
My husband on the other hand, would love to add another baby to the mix and after we learned that two sets of friends recently became pregnant, we wound up re-visiting the topic and got into a heated debate about it. He thinks we're really fortunate and should give back by taking in another child if I don't want to get pregnant again. I say we can do our part by getting involved in a charity or adopting a pet from the ASPCA.
I know, I sound harsh, but that's the cold-hearted truth. While I'm not completely ruling out the possibility of having a third child, I'm getting pretty close to closing my baby shop for good. Does that make me a heartless mom? I don't think so - just a realistic one.
Do you and your husband disagree over whether you should have more children?
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