Tell Us Something We Don't Know

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The latest pointless studies Moms already know.
Gymnastics Team More Dangerous than Debate Team
	Turns out, contorting your body while hurling it though the air onto the ground isn't that safe! So says a new study of over 400,000 children who dismounted themselves right into hospital emergency rooms from 1990 to 2005. In related news: In a study of over 1.5 million National Chess Club members from 1910 to 2008, not one sustained any chess-related injuries.
Teens Would Rather Watch TV in Their Rooms than Eat Dinner with You
	A new study says teens that have a television in their bedrooms are less likely to attend family meals. This is news?? Any angst-ridden teen worth his salt would rather stare at a wall than endure another dinner with Mom and Dad, or hear "Honey, what's wrong?" for the gazzilionth time. In related news: A new study says 100% of teens will respond to anything said by a person over 25 years of age by rolling their eyes.