Guest Blogger Daphne says: It's simple. I spend my days in an office while my husband works at home. Why are people so confused?
I don't get much chance to mingle with the parents at my son's school. Since I work all day in an office, and my husband is at home, he's the one who takes James to kindergarten, picks him up, and arranges afternoon playdates.
So when it came time for the school fundraiser, I was eager to go
out with my husband and really get to know these other grown-ups.
But then they started talking to me.
"Wow, where have you been? We NEVER see you at school," they all queried, though they know about my job. After the fifth person asked me, I headed for the bar and made a new friend named Chardonnay who didn't question my day to day whereabouts.
That's when I met up with another woman--let's call her Final Straw Mom. She said, smiling, 'It's so funny, the other day my son Damian said he didn't even know James had a Mommy."
Ok, really? What did he think? James was reproduced by spore?
I can cut people some slack. They're in a social situation, and they need an ice breaker. Here's a tip: Try the weather. Don't make me feel like a bad mom because I'm at work all day. I know it's 2008, but I can't help but think if my role was reversed with my husband and he was the one with the ultra-busy desk job, no one would wonder aloud how he spends his time Monday through Friday.
Truth is, not only do I have to work to support my family, I need to for my sanity. I enjoy it. And although I miss my son when we're apart, more often than not, being a working mom helps me focus on really just being with him during the time we do spend together each day.
I don't know how I'll feel when my husband does go back to work full-time. But right now, all I can say to those parents who wonder where I've been is this: Next time we meet, could you just say "Nice to see you"?
What about you? Do you feel judged by others for the work you do, whether it's at home with kids or in an office?