On Sunday night's Desperate Housewives, Susan's monster-in-law arrives offering unsolicited advice, causing tension between her and hubby Mike.

The Daughter-in-Law Rules, how to handle your mother-in-law or MIL and suggested starting with these rules...

Ask your MIL for her advice - and frequently!

Beat her to the punch, but make sure that the subject matter remain on the simple and inconsequential side such as what color to change the shower curtain to in a guest bathroom, but then do it, so when she comes over she'll be secretly gratified that you actually followed through.

If she comments on your sex life? No problemo! Do this rule:

Tell your MIL you can't wait to have babies (or more of them!)

Smile coyly, tell her you've been working on this project day and night, and how eager you are to have another. She will be hard-pressed not to picture you and her son having relations (don't think of a pink elephant, okay?) and she will most likely not ask you again ... at least for the next couple of months, that is!

If your MIL complains about the way you keep house? Try this one:

Agree with your MIL about what a disaster your home is

Utilize the technique of pre-emptive apologizing and beat Mom to the punch - tell her you are going to sign up for one of those home-improvement shows on HGTV such as Before and After, Designer's Challenge and What's With That House?

And what about the age old problem of your MIL complaining about your cooking? Try this:

Order out when your MIL comes to visit

Certainly do not bother creating a meal, as your MIL will most likely not be accustomed to your type of food. The amount of effort you put into producing the oh-so-perfect meal will never be worth it.  Instead, proudly announce, "Dinner is served!" as the doorbell magically and simultaneously rings to the tune of DOMINO'S.