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Man Caves Can Save Your Marriage

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Want to keep your home life harmonious? Maybe it's time to send your man to his room.


That beat-up wagon-wheel coffee table from When Harry Met Sally showed the world that, when it comes to decorating, men and women are not only not on the same page, they aren't even reading the same book. A remedy making the rounds is something called a "man cave," a place where husbands can cut themselves off from the world of seagrass rugs, sideboards, and responsibility and surround themselves with girlie posters, bowling trophies and--we're guessing--beer. (We don't know for sure...they won't let us in to take a look.)

Don't confuse all man caves with traditional dens. Families these days are letting Dad take it outside to hole up in small detached rooms in the backyard. Kind of like the grown-up version of a tree fort, but replaced with a "No wives or kids allowed" sign tacked on the door.

Some couples actually swear by the "mantuary," saying it cuts down on bickering. Could it be because men are innately territorial and have a deep-seated need to claim their own space? Hey, it beats arguing over when he's going to get rid of the tattered, stained, brown leather La-Z-Boy chair in the living room.

Does your man have a "man cave"?

10 comments so far | Post a comment now
T May 20, 2008, 3:38 PM

wow. that sounds like terrible advice. My husband has a man-cave and it’s the worst thing to hit our marrige since… kids? Sure, it sounds good in theory, but giving your husband a place where he can hide from the responsibilty of having a family and DRINK BEER or whatever they do is a stupid notion. How about a night out or time off from the family? But rest assured if they have a cave to go to- you’ll resent them and their stupid man-cave. You’ll want to strangle them. Think about a mom cave where we go to escape kids and the husband. THat would be just so popular, wouldn’t it? The reality is that parenting is a team sport when two parents are involved. Don’t let one of the team members stop participating, by creating a sanctuary for irresponsibility.

The Founding Father May 20, 2008, 10:20 PM

I think the opposing comment from “T” has less to do with the fact that her husband has his own Mantuary and more to do with the health of their relationship.

robert September 16, 2008, 8:22 PM

Well “T” last time I checked in most cases the guy is the one who has to go to work and support the family and while I’m not saying that all guy’s are responsible I DO think that you women should stop whining so much. and yes being a mom is just as much work. but STILL MEN AND WOMEN have equal responsibilities in a household.

Michelle October 8, 2008, 12:42 AM

Hey Robert…maybe work should be his “mancave”. Cuz when he’s home he’s supposed to superdad and spend time enjoying his children while their still young enough to want to play with him. Time goes by too fast….

Gman November 11, 2008, 12:25 PM

Guys do need a “mantuary” or “mancave”.
It’s not all about watching sports or drinking with buddies. The essence of the mancave is privacy. Privacy on the home turf. You know, somewhere to read a book, fiddle with a project, watch a ball game without someone else’s agenda coming into play, that’s what it is, a private space. As for the post that work should be his “mancave”, work isn’t private.

Michelle April 24, 2009, 7:00 PM

My hubby and I just finished his mancave and we love it! It has been great for both of us for a whole host of reasons. As for Robert, what decade are you living in? Last time I checked both hubby and wife work and contribute to the household finances equally. Not to mention that on top of working full time jobs, most of the women I know still do the majority of housework, ect.

mike April 25, 2009, 12:21 PM

well as far as the rest on here mostly (with what i here have small kids) i am 54 years old and have raisedand still raising kids on 29 another 27 and finally moved out..the last on is 14 and can pretty much do what he wants around the house….with the extra room from the older kids moving out i finally have the room to make a mancave and i tell you what, i am making one…my computer and game systems where i can go and spend hours after working all day….mike

thawk June 14, 2009, 9:31 PM

this is a great topic for our husbands conference call this tuesday, for more info go to

Belvedere September 27, 2010, 2:17 PM

Some odd reason people think that a mancave is just for married people. For lots of men who share their lives with women (whether or not they are attached) a place that doesn’t cost them $5 a beer can mean a better living quarters, or does having a sewing/craft room not say “i want my own space”?
@Michelle this century has that exact problem of only one person working, not because they want to but because their employment was canned.

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