twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Sexless Marriage?

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

As many as 20% of married couples are having sex less than 10 times per year! (see, it's not just you) Now you can do something about it!

Check out this segment from Tyra where momlogic's spiritual advisor, Rabbi Sherre, forces a couple to face it head on!

next: Is Britney Pregnant?
17 comments so far | Post a comment now
Lisa May 13, 2008, 9:05 PM

Great advice…I always have to chase my husband just so he’ll touch me. I hope these tips work!

sweet May 14, 2008, 1:11 AM

i would like know what i can do to make me feel mor attracted.i have five kids,bills,a husband and i am as of right now the only one husband alwalys wants to do the for me i have no more sex drive.the last time i think i felt attrated was when i was 17teen.i am double that age now.i try to talk to my husband but all he will say is the things i want to hear.i feel depress with is not fair to him that i feel this way but he is getting the short end of the stick.he has been there for me and our kids through think and thin.i know in my heart he will find someone else soon.we have been together for 15 the past five we had sex at least nine me if u can.thank you.

cathy May 21, 2008, 2:02 AM

Sweet -
You have to force the sex drive to wake up! It doesn’t just magically happen one day. After just one child, some women lose the desire to have sex, even with the one they love most dearly. The only thing I can tell you is that the advice you have heard on Tyra’s show is pretty accurate, as well as one thing that was never mentioned: YOU HAVE TO JUST JUMP BACK INTO IT. Your senses will then wake up, and that is step one.

stephanie June 2, 2008, 8:37 PM

i am in a sexless relationship and i am a 37 year old woman with 5 kids my oldest child is a freshman in college and my youngest is 2 years old. My husband is very disappointed because we use to have sex all the time. I am worried that my husband will step out of the marriage but i just don’t have the desire of wanting sex

Anonymous August 10, 2008, 9:07 AM

Men are pigs!

greg August 14, 2008, 12:22 AM

Pigs? Okay, then I guess that makes women scam-artists.

The importance of a love life in marriage is to men what the importance of monogamy in marriage is to women.
And.. the importance of monogamy in marriage is to men, what the importance of a love life in marriage is to women.
I believe the loss of either aspect of marriage can cause the loss of the other, that is,
the cause-and-effect relationship can work in either direction.

Is it my imagination or do the majority of women in America think that a love life before marriage
is perfectly normal and perhaps even a requirement in order to maintain an LTR, but after marriage they think
it is no longer important except to make a baby? And after the baby-making years are over, so is the need for sex?

It appears to me that even if American women don’t think this way, a great many of them behave this way. I think that this behavior is a large contributing factor to the current divorce rate
as well as the reluctance of single men to get engaged to be married.

Deceived, defrauded, scammed. This is how married men feel when they lose their love life.

joe August 16, 2008, 1:34 AM

ME- 27 y/o male- i have been married for 1 year. As ridiculous as this sounds…we haven’t had sex since our honeymoon. I am literally going crazy on the inside, and simply cannot take it any longer. I have been hoping and waiting for this relationship to blossom (because i am a very positive person) However, although i hold a full time job…my wife insists that she should quit her job and I have (2) jobs….she claims that once she is free from all the stress of her very demanding and difficult job….that then she will eventually start having sexual feelings for me….on a side note….other than the sex….she is an incredibly kind, and loving woman……..(except for the non-hugging/kissing) ……what did i do wrong? i need more than help????

Anonymous August 16, 2008, 2:14 AM

You should have asked her before getting married to answer this question..

Assuming there is no physical or verbal abuse, no drug problems, and no physical incapacities,
for how long after the wedding should a married couple continue to give each other a sex life?

a) Til death do us part.
b) Only until the women reaches menopause.
c) Only until the novelty of marriage wears off, say one to two years, and after that sex is only for making babies.
d) Only during the honeymoon, and after that sex is only for making babies.

If your answer and her answer were the same, then you should have had no worries, unless she was being deceptive or fraudulent.

Cheleanne September 29, 2008, 9:18 PM

Living in a sexless marriage is absolutely no fun. I’ve been married for almost 7 years, and we’ve maybe had sex 20 in the relationship. And we were together about 2 years BEFORE we got married.

My husband is NOT into sex at all. Whether it be physical, or mental, I don’t know. I do know that it’s killing me….

I’m 45 years old and I have never felt so ugly, unwanted, and unloved…. it hurts..

So all you men out there reading this, that are like my husband, think of your woman.. and have a heart…and a little sex and fun… you might just enjoy it!

she October 6, 2008, 7:19 PM

I’m with you Cheleyanne!

Getting no love October 11, 2008, 2:09 AM

I’ve been married for 10 years and I have pretty much given up. I’m tired of begging for it. I should not have to beg. For all of you ladies who say that you’re tired. I’ll accept that you are tired for a couple of days but not months or years. That’s a crock. You risk loosing him. Better learn to snatch your husband’s attentions before blue-eyed blond and busty does.

teacher35 October 27, 2008, 12:06 AM

My heart is breaking. I have been married to the love of my life for 14 years and for the last 2 months, he hasn’t wanted to have sex with me. We always had a great sex life but I cannot seem to make it happen. I have put on a little weight and so has he. I do not look unfortunate looking, in fact I look pretty good. I have tried everything and nothing works. I even hinted at having an affair and it didn’t phase him. What am I going to do?

Melissa November 6, 2008, 9:33 AM

Men and women are affected by lack of sleep, stress and the routine we go through every single day. When you have kids it is hard to be spontaneous. You can’t just jump his bones or seduce the other in any room of the house at the drop of a hat. Okay, we have to reserve bedtime for sex and it is usally late when that happens. My husband and I are about once a month. It is usually pretty hot and steamy when it does. I don’t stress over it. He is very busy with his company and our church and we are both busy with our two kids. It is unreasonable to think that not having sex every day is abnormal. If we were like the people in Hollywood that have trainers every day and nannies to watch the kids then we could be alot more rested and have more time to think about rolling in the sheets. We have real life to deal with. Give yourself a break. For women that can’t have orgasms, it is all about the mind. You need oral sex or a vibrator to help you in sex. I can’t have an orgasm unless there is oral sex. If you both do oral sex at the same time, then change to intercourse you will like it better.

no sex life sucks November 10, 2008, 5:00 PM

I’ve been married for 16 yrs. Never really had alot sex from the get go, but it’s come to only once every 5 months or so, and I feel like the husband only does it as an obligation. I used to try the talk, beg ,and shout. I’ve given up, nothing less romantic than feeling like you’re begging for sex,,,,it hurt’s , and then it’s not even worth it! We have no children, so why do I stay. He tells me that he loves me and that I am beautiful. He can be kind in other ways, but so can a roommate. I just don’t know anymore, life just slips away.

Feeling Extremely Unattractive December 19, 2008, 4:34 AM

I am a 38 year old mother of four (20, 16,13 & 2). I am married to an absolutely wonderful,hardworking man. I know he loves me because if he didn’t I know he would have been gone lonngg ago!! We have been together for 9 years and married for 4 years. When we met we had an incredible sex life but in the last couple of years our sex life has severely suffered. I was in a car accident 5 years ago and have experienced several medical problems since. I have severe back problems and have had several Grand Mal seizures as a results. Between the kids and my health issues I am tired and depressed all the time, But I want more than anything to be the woman I used to be. Energetic,full of life,strong (mentally and physically)a more active wife and mother. I miss being close to my husband in an intimate way. Everyone around us used to envy us now they relate and not in a good way either. I know I am hurting him and that is the last thing I want to do but I seriously can’t find the energy nor do I feel attractive enough to expose myself in an intimate way. I have been researching ways to turn things around for us but thus far nothing has worked. If anyone has any suggestions I will gladly try anything.

Gracie Kostrzewa December 3, 2010, 4:06 AM

It has taken all year to debate about it and trust me it was not so simpleas it was written in this article.

Norris Sacarello December 6, 2010, 2:46 AM

Let’s hope that plenty of readers leave remark on this site After reading the article?

Back to top >>