Guest Blogger Alysa: Why the bleep don't they tell you this stuff BEFORE the C-section?
As one of the last of my friends to have a baby, I would expect to know almost everything about childbirth. Most of my girlfriends have had at least one C-section, and knowing all along mine was going to be scheduled, you'd think nine months would be enough time to fill me in on what to expect. During pregnancy, I had none of these symptoms. After the baby was born, things immediately started happening to my body. When confronted for withholding info, my friends all said something like, "Yeah. I forgot about that." It's been eight weeks and here are five things I'll never forget:
1) Gas. Coming out of everywhere.
Still is. This hit me two days after the birth. The pain actually made me scream in agony. Apparently gas pains can be more intense than labor pains. I can now out-burp my husband. I have no shame.
Connected to the tree stumps I now had for legs. Lasted about two weeks. Make sure you bring a floor-length robe to the hospital. And pull up the socks, old-school style.
3. Frozen peas for aching breasts.
This is the remedy my nurse swears by. If you don't like peas, corn niblets work just as well.
4. The first poop (I'm a mom, I can use this word) is the hardest.
Especially if you're taking extra iron. I sent my husband home on the fourth night so my 3 a.m. witness was the nurse who had been pushing the iron pill & stool softener cocktail. She was so proud that she hugged me.
5. Morphine button
Attached to my arm. For 24 hours. This is one benefit to having a C-section. Press it all you want. Press it when you don't even need it.