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What Kind of Sex Do You Like?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Guest blogger Jodi has come up with three.

whats_anothername_forsex270.jpg

In the evening, he wants to make love. In the morning, he wants to get it on. Sometimes, he just wants a little sumthin' sumthin'. Sex by any other name is still sex, but all sex is not created equal (do not get me started). I blame the names sex is given. Take "humping" for example. Ew. So I've come up with a few of my own.

Renaming sex can inspire the most overwhelmed of moms to want it more, and heeeey, get it better! Because orgasms, like pizza and shoes, are all good, and you deserve plenty of each. You don't have to employ a babysitter, lingerie, lotions, potions and paddles (you tart!) to have more and hotter sex. You only need a few new sex names to get you going. And hopefully coming.

The Double Duty Booty
What if it weren't that you're always too tired for sex, but that just the word "sex" sounds like a lot of work? Put your leg over there, move your arm over here, lift the hips higher, oh baby oh baby. Then suddenly "OMG the baby!" The Double Duty Booty is a multi-tasker. Try this: Sunday morning shower; he scrubs your back while you apply a hair masque; you find a position that isn't slip-dangerous; you both get your jollies while repairing split ends.

The Warm and Yummy
You're tired. You're blue. Something has happened. You just feel, well, needy. The Warm and Yummy is comfort sex, like if you could give your vajayjay a chicken pot pie. It's not aerobic, and there's no orgasm goal. It's the closest to making love, but without the bogus pressure to be pretty or perform. You're simply connecting. Ask for it, like you would a hug--a hug that happens to involve his privates.

The Vajayjay Volcano
It's not as if mindblowing sex is as easy as ordering a side of ham. But if it were, wouldn't you be having it all the time, no matter who vomited on your new J.Crew canary yellow t-shirt this morning? If I had the quick answer for this one, I'd be...something besides a tired mom. You want, you need, you deserve Vajayjay Volcanos with your man. A for effort on this one. May I suggest you employ a babysitter, lingerie, lotions, potions and paddles?

Do you have a type of sex with your man that deserves a new name? Send us a quickie note!



next: America's Next Fat Model?

4 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

 
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- Owenubsissusy
Posted 06/15/08 06:24 PM
 
This article is stupid and pointless! Guest blogger Jodi doesn’t sound very intelligent, doesn’t sound very experienced and doesn’t know how to write and article that make sense!
- MEM
Posted 07/15/08 11:51 AM
 
Very nice site!
- John954
Posted 05/19/09 12:31 PM
 
You enroll in the second program for two years, and during that period you continue to teach full time. ,
- GanjaBoy89
Posted 10/22/09 10:57 AM
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  remember me?      
 

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