If you throw a tantrum in front of your kids, how should you explain?

Vanessa Bryant, wife of Kobe, reportedly cussed out Laura Lane, a journalist who had written about Vanessa's attire in a recent blog post. (Vanessa wore a purple tutu when Kobe won his MVP award, and Laura had commented on it.) But while Vanessa was letting the F-bombs fly, her daughters (age 2 and 5) were standing right there, hanging on to every word. Uh-oh.

Vanessa's not the first mom to be driven to the edge. But what should you do when you lose your cool in front of the kiddos? A family therapist teaches us damage control.

Rosanne Tobey, L.P.C., first says to give yourself a break. "We all mess up in front of our kids from time to time," she explains. "When you consider that our kids are essentially by our sides from birth to age 18 or more, you realize that it is impossible to model perfect behavior 100% of the time. Nobody is that perfect--thank God. Screwing up is a fact of life, so it's best to accept that and move on."

Fair enough. But once you've forgiven yourself for not being perfect, how do you get your kids to forgive your imperfect behavior? Here are Tobey's top three tips:

Face this head-on.
"When you do behave poorly in front of your kids, address it directly," Tobey advises. "Don't ignore it and hope they didn't notice. They did!"

Tell them why you lost it.
"Explain to them that Mom lost her cool in the situation and what she did was not right," Tobey says. "Explain that you could have handled it better, but in the moment, a better way did not occur to you, or, you were so angry you used poor judgment in your choice of actions."

Don't make excuses.
"By handling the situation this way, you are demonstrating for your kids how to take responsibility for their actions instead of blaming others," Tobey concludes. "Taking responsibility empowers you (and them) to make better choices next time."

Have you ever completely lost it in front of your kids?