Our first couples counselor practiced Imago Therapy. Simply put, the Imago theory believes that we're born whole and complete, but then our parents completely mess us up. And then we marry people just like our parents because only they can heal us from our f'd up childhood.
Our therapy sessions went something like this, "He doesn't talk to me during dinner. There's no conversation. He says he's too busy eating. But, when we go out with friends he's the life of the party." "Well," she'd say, "You can't expect everything from your spouse. Did your mom insult you when you were little?"
She also had this annoying knack of taking one syllable words and turning them into two. In her high-pitched, squeaky voice I can still hear her whining, "Guuuy-eyes, you have to sto-op this POWer struggle. Is your father a perfectionist?"
No, I can't expect everything from one person. However, sharing your day isn't too much to ask for. In fact, communication is key for a successful relationship. Even I knew that. And my husband's at-home vow of silence wasn't caused by my mom and dad. As far as I was concerned, after a year and half, I'm-a-NO-go when it comes to Imago. My husband and I agreed to try a different approach...