How Moms can use this tragedy as a teachable moment for kids.
The 14-year-old girl in Baytown, Texas, who gave birth in her school bathroom and attempted to flush the full-term baby down the toilet is being charged today with capital murder for her baby's death.
This horrific story has sent shockwaves throughout their tight-knit community--with many wondering how something like this could happen.
Gabriele Seago, a labor and delivery nurse whose 14-year-old daughter attends this school, spoke to momlogic about the tragic turn of events and offers advice on how parents should talk to their kids about pregnancy.
Momlogic: When you heard the news, what was your initial reaction?
Gabriele: My 14-year-old daughter attends the same middle school and knows the girl. They are both in 8th grade. Naturally, I worried for my daughter because I knew this would leave an impression on her. I picked up my daughter from school and decided to use this as an opportunity to talk to my daughter.
The girl could have died after giving birth in that bathroom. It's horrific enough that the baby died. I heard the girl went to the nurse's office earlier in the day and said she was cramping, but the nurse didn't know she was pregnant because the girl always wore baggy clothes, and she hid it from everyone. If only an adult knew, maybe the baby could have been saved.
ML: How did you talk to your daughter about this?
Gabriele: I work in labor and delivery at a Houston hospital, and my daughter has been to work with me. I talk to her about pregnancy and STDs all the time because of my job.
I feel it's very important that every mother reinforces things about sex, pregnancy, and STDs frequently because just hearing it once is not enough for any child, whether you have a son or daughter. At my job, I see children having children all the time. Recently, there was an 11-year-old at the hospital having a baby.
My daughter knows if anyone else she knows becomes pregnant and it's a secret, she needs to tell an adult.
ML: What was the community's reaction?
Gabriele: We've had some girls in my daughter's 8th grade class become pregnant, but people knew they were pregnant, and the girls were taking care of themselves and their unborn children.
I think many people in the community were shocked, saddened, and they've been empathetic to the 14-year-old girl. I feel so bad for her because it's going to be with her for the rest of her life.
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Email15 comments so far | Post a comment now >>
There is more of a tragedy for a pregnant 14 year old. After everyone knows she had a baby, the boys will think of her only as good for sex! She will never be thought of as the kind of girl you settle down with. Her future as a girlfriend is gone! It will follow her the rest of her life!
- Caring Father
I think being “girlfriend material” is the least of this poor girls’ worries. I truely feel for her and her family. That child has a lot of years ahead of her to think, and rethink her actions. That baby did not ask to be born, and did not have to die. I would like to know why she hid this from her parents, friends, etc. If she was worried about her parents, I am sure that they would have been upset and maybe angry at the time but honestly, they WOULD have gotten over it. For goodness sake, she could have put it up for adoption. It’s just so sad. Like I said, that poor girl is going to have many years that she is going to have to live with her decision. Her whole life is changed forever!
- Single mom
What about her parents? How can they not even suspect? I don’t blame these girls that do this… they are young and scared and obviously alone if they can fool their parents by wearing a baggy shirt. How could no one notice? That invisibility has to contribute to the feeling of being alone and scared and that no one would understand.
- Leigh
I don’t feel sorry for this girl one bit. We have SO many laws in place nowadays to protect mothers - she could have given birth, and then taken that innocent baby to a safe haven shelter - then she could have continued on with her life. Instead, she chose to hide the pregnancy, and get rid of the “evidence” by committing murder. 14 years old is PLENTY old enough to know the different between right and wrong… 14 years old is PLENTY old enough to know that MURDER is WRONG. I sincerely hope she is charged with murder. Unfortunately, there isn’t a punishment severe enough for anyone who kills an innocent baby.
- April
All I can say is that, we see this ever more often. We need to ask ourselves why? I am sure we are able to yield our own answer. One question to ask ourselves is, “Has teen pregnancy EVER been accepted.” For the most part, the ideas of moral living varies through out the country. Some areas of the U.S. are more strict about sex and ones expression through it. It’s basic fact. I believe, that if sex were more spoken about in the home as Gabrielle suggested above, that many parents would be able to 1 help prevent teen pregnancy, and 2 prevent this tragedy. All us pregnant women know what psychological and hormonal issues we go through during the gestation of the fetus. Children, however, are not developed enough to handle what we have or could handle as adults. Imagine you are a child pushing out a child, that you are ashamed to let anyone know about, because then everyone will know you had sex. You are alone in a bathroom and the traumatic experience you just endured has sent you into shock. In addition, not everyone is of the same mental caliber, nor should those be seen as horrible or a murderer as a result. We all think that we are strong, but ask yourself today, do you always feel so strong??? I doubt you do! I don’t think taking the kill the witch approach as suggested above will do anything to SOLVE the problem. Killing someone does not set an example to someone who is in dire need of solace for what they are about to face as a child. A ridicule from society, exile from their family, and until the baby is born, potentially from everything they know, because most families are too embarrassed, is something that a CHILD, and we are talking about a child here, fears. I am tired of hearing that people “hope” that the mother is “sincerely” charged with murder. What if that was your child up there on the stand, I don’t think there would be anything sincere about your wishes! I love how American’s think they can take the law into their hands and wish death on someone. Laws in place, babies taken to shelters..yep in a fairy tale land, especially one that fails time and time again to COMMUNICATE with their children. What is her home life like?
- Catherine
Ok, first of all, having taught Health in a Houston High School, let me just say that it is ridiculous that middle school students aren’t taught health as a core part of their curriculum. By the time my students reached High School, for many of them the information was a day late and a dollar short, as they say. And secondly, in this day of epidural deliveries it’s easy to forget that real labor is pretty intense. Having just had a baby three months ago au natural, I am seriously struggling to understand how this girl was able to deliver a baby in a bathroom stall without making enough noise to draw the attention of everyone in the school. Even with the best of preparations for delivery, people struggle. I doubt seriously that a 14 year old girl had the forethought necessary to even consider birthing techniques, leaving the much more plausable picture of extreme agony and screaming in my mind. So again I ask, how did this girl get to the point where she was able to deliver without someone hearing her. It’s not like there aren’t people in the halls, or students constantly going in and out of the bathroom. Nor is it like the bathrooms are soundproof. Aside from the obvious “something is wrong with her, her parents, etc”, I say something is wrong with a school that allows that to happen in their own bathrooms. Or, we’re not getting the full story here. It might be possible to hide a pregnancy, but I cannot believe that without any kind of pain meds, someone can hide a delivery. Where was everyone????
- bren
I think that is soooo wrong I mean if she looked at her baby and seen how probrably goergoues it was how could some one be so cruel to kill an innocent baby…?I would rather tell one of my freinds of even my parents …and yes I woulf be scred but if I ever killed a baby I wouldn’t be able to live with myself! In loving memory of the baby ! God bless!
- tina
There are many levels of where things went “wrong”. But, the bottom line is that it is MY fault, and parents like me. I have seen this coming for years. Do I stand up against the clothing and media industries while they pander and sell sex to our 10, 11, & 12 year old kids? Famous Stars & Straps (founded by Blink 182 band member) tell kids that “Anything Goes” and “Get the Money”, it’s all about the money. Abercrombie & Fitch tells girls that they don’t need brains, just breasts and blond hair; the 62 year-old CEO, Michael S. Jeffries wanted A & F to “sizzle with sex”. I think the brainwashing marketing snuck by us. Don’t even get me started on the music, a lot of the most popular songs are about sex, and it’s not nice loving sex. Google some of your kids music for the lyrics you’ll be shocked at the garbage. Our precious sons and daughters have become desensitized. Here in California, the county in which I live, young girls are paid to have babies by the taxpayers. If they marry the father, they lose money, so by the time they are 19 they have 3 kids and are on welfare. Tell me what kind of future those babies have. If a girl wants an abortion, she goes to the school nurse, who sets it up without the parents knowledge and it too is paid by the taxpayers. And we act surprised that a girl, 1) got pregnant; 2) didn’t want to keep the baby; and 3) tried to get rid of it (she just happened to be at school that day, otherwise it may have been in a garbage can). It is very frustrating. So, have I, and other parents like me, dropped the ball when it comes to protesting things that can be harmful to our children and for not being completely forthright (and perhaps more strict) with them as well? Please, someone tell me if I’m wrong and what we should be doing other than feeling sorry for these girls? Sorry this turned into a rant, but it just keeps happening which is insane! Jenny
- jennymac
Reading all those comment really brought tears to my eyes. Iam from Belize City and i work at Y.E.S my job is to have session with teen moms,We get about a 100 moms per year, it’s like there never going to stop having kids at a young age, In this month alone they were 2 reported case of tow 2year old that there parents had kill by (lashing) we ask our self what could a 2year old baby do to get a parent that mad that they could kill there own flesh and blood. How could that 14 years old girl do that to that poor lil baby, I really don’t want to hear about she is only 14 and all the stress she would go through from her parents or the community, I think she was OLD enuff to know that having SEX!!!! with a boy that have sperm she could either become pregnant or have a STD R.I.P Gods lil angel!!! i wish she would have tell someone it’S sad, May the good Lord gorgive her for her wrong doing. parents talk to your teens they need to know when is the right time to start having SEX!!!
- Belizean girl!!
14 IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT IS MURDER AND WHAT IS NOT. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE PEOPLE WHO WROTE THAT. SHE KNEW ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX, BE PREGNANT FOR 9 MONTHS AND GIVE BIRTH, AND THEN HER DECISION IS LET ME FLUSH IT. HOW CAN YOU LOOK AT THAT INNOCENT FACE AND DO THAT?????????? HOW HORRIBLE CAN YOU BE. THERE ARE SO MANY ALTERNATIVES THESE DAYS, THAT IS JUST WHAT IT IS MURDER. I AM A MOTHER OF THREE AND JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS MAKES ME VERY VERY SICK.
- Vita David
i think its very sad when something like that happens where a young girl becomes pregnant and think the only way out is to kill the unborn child .some kids i guess just dont have a good enough relationship with their parents and other family members where they can have somebody to talk to about situations like that. i myself am a parent of a 14 year old daughter and i hope that she dont ever get herself in a position where she ends up pregnant.thats why i try and talk to her and explain that she dont need to worry about boys and dating right now, that can all wait, that the most important thing for her now is to get an education and focus and work on what she wants to become when she gets older.but if she gets in a situation like that i dont know how i would handle it but i would definetly be there for her.so i just talk to her and keep a good relationship with her so that she knows not to be scared to come to me about any problems she feel she has.
- reneejohnson
i am very torn about this situation, my heart is breaking thinking about the poor beautiful innocent baby, and also i feel very sad for the girl who did this. i think she felt very alone, thats probably why she gave birth in the bathroom. but the truth is that she was “mature” enough to get pregnant in the first place, she should have been mature enough to make the right decision. as much as i feel sorry for the girl, the pain i am feeling for the little baby is much stronger. i hope this girl gets tried as an adult and serves an adult sentence. because when it comes down to it, by the time you are able to have children, you are an adult. “rest in peace sweet little one, i hope you are reborn to a very loving family”
- Austine
I blame violent television.
- Toilet Fetus
Boi is this a swirly story
- charles
so sad that children are having babies so young. I remember girls in my highschool that got pregnant. seems like it is more of an accepted thing now than ever. No matter the age i think it is sickning how many parents kill their children for whatever reason. hearing About children found in dumpsters or children being drowned simply because the parent didn’t want the child or couldn’t handle the demands of being a parent. makes me sick because there are so many people in the world who can’t even have babies and so many who can’t seem to stop having them and realize what a special gift they have been given instead of destroying it
- Anonymous
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