What a mom can do if she finds out her daughter wants to kiss a girl.
In The New York Times article "What Woman Want (Really)," the idea that women are more aroused by other women than they are by men is explored. Does this mean they are bisexual? Or gay? Is it now more acceptable or common to be a woman who likes both genders?
The article notes that "Even in a culture that often cycles through moments of bisexual chic--Britney and Madonna, make way for Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson--and despite survey data showing that young people, in particular, are open to sexual experimentation, bisexuality still tends to be treated as a novelty, a titillating fluke, a phase or even a cover for homosexuality."
Watch momlogic's interview with MTV's self-proclaimed bi-sexual reality star, Tila Tequila. She's got some thoughts for girls who might be questioning their sexuality.
And, the MTV clip where Tila Tequila uncomfortably comes out as bi-sexual..
If your child is questioning his or her sexuality, how are you supposed to know if this is a phase or the real deal? And, how should you handle the situation?
We asked licensed psychotherapist Michael Kimmel, and he offered the following tips:
- It is important to realize that bisexuality is real. It's always been there and will always be there. It's the social acceptability that comes and goes.
- Keep your channels of communication open with your child. If you don't, he or she may shut down and then you won't know what's going on with them, which is more dangerous than any judgments or awkwardness you may feel.
- Address your adult concerns with other adults. Meaning, if you feel uncomfortable with the subject or worried about your child, get some support from your peers or mentors (pastors, counselors, etc.) Telling your child you are worried about him or her or scared for them will not help them. You need to be a safe haven for them.
- Your child needs to know that you will love him or her no matter what. It is crucial. It's important for your child knows that no matter who they love, if it's the same gender one year and the opposite the next, it's OK.
- Just be interested in your child's relationship. Ask them: What do you like about your significant other? What's their personality like? How do you spend time together? What are their interests? The main point is to make sure the person is treating your child well regardless of their gender.