Is Bisexuality a Teen Trend?

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Is Bisexuality a Teen Trend?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

filed under: tween & teen logic

What a mom can do if she finds out her daughter wants to kiss a girl.

It's becoming more common for young women--who've been interested in guys--to come out as liking women as well--Tila Tequila, Lindsay Lohan and even your college roommate (to name a few)!

In The New York Times article "What Woman Want (Really)," the idea that women are more aroused by other women than they are by men is explored. Does this mean they are bisexual? Or gay? Is it now more acceptable or common to be a woman who likes both genders?

The article notes that "Even in a culture that often cycles through moments of bisexual chic--Britney and Madonna, make way for Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson--and despite survey data showing that young people, in particular, are open to sexual experimentation, bisexuality still tends to be treated as a novelty, a titillating fluke, a phase or even a cover for homosexuality."

Watch momlogic's interview with MTV's self-proclaimed bi-sexual reality star, Tila Tequila. She's got some thoughts for girls who might be questioning their sexuality.
And, the MTV clip where Tila Tequila uncomfortably comes out as bi-sexual..

If your child is questioning his or her sexuality, how are you supposed to know if this is a phase or the real deal? And, how should you handle the situation?

We asked licensed psychotherapist Michael Kimmel, and he offered the following tips:

It is important to realize that bisexuality is real. It's always been there and will always be there. It's the social acceptability that comes and goes.
Keep your channels of communication open with your child. If you don't, he or she may shut down and then you won't know what's going on with them, which is more dangerous than any judgments or awkwardness you may feel.
Address your adult concerns with other adults. Meaning, if you feel uncomfortable with the subject or worried about your child, get some support from your peers or mentors (pastors, counselors, etc.) Telling your child you are worried about him or her or scared for them will not help them. You need to be a safe haven for them.
Your child needs to know that you will love him or her no matter what. It is crucial. It's important for your child knows that no matter who they love, if it's the same gender one year and the opposite the next, it's OK.
Just be interested in your child's relationship. Ask them: What do you like about your significant other? What's their personality like? How do you spend time together? What are their interests? The main point is to make sure the person is treating your child well regardless of their gender.

5 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

i have a 14 year old daughter and i would be very upset if i ever found out she likes girls.right now she is not allowed to date boys because she is not old enough and she needs to focus on school and not boys.i tell her when she is old enough then sure she can date a boy but right now she is not ready for that yet.but to find out that she likes girls i dont think i could ever except it ,but she is my daughter i will love her no matter what but she wouldnt be allowed to bring that stuff to my house.the thought of it just disguist me.

- reneejohnson

Posted 06/15/08 08:13 PM

I’m 15 and straight, but I know deffiantly that people are thinking its ‘cool’ to be bisexual. I don’t condem it, but I think its rather mocking to those who actually are. With shows out like Tila, which is suppose to show that its OK to be bi in her words, and myspace growing a lot of people want to hop on the bandwagon of bisexuality because its so popular right now.

- abi

Posted 06/18/08 12:24 AM

Our culture is just beginning to accept that people have different needs and that not everyone can be happy in a heteronormative relationship—and rightly so. Yes, many teens will experiment with different kinds of partners and relationships and sometimes it is just out of curiousity. But it’s best that they know what they are most comfortable with early on, and if they aren’t comfortable in a samesex relationship they’ll move on. What’s really important is that they know that they can talk to their parents about their relationships no matter what. Choosing to close yourself off completely from an important part of your child’s life if they are homosexual or bisexual sends the message that your love is conditional.

- J.J.

Posted 07/30/08 07:23 PM

first of all, im straight. secondly im just hear to say that if your not going to allow your daughter to date boys now its understandable but wait long and her curiosity will lead her to guys then girls. if you have limited love for your daughter not to except her if shes gay then your as digusting as you think her gayness is. i know many teens who are bisexual many out of curiosity and others treat it as if they were born that way. if theyre gay theyre gay if not then not. regardless theyre still human. So, get over it.

- Claire

Posted 03/24/09 06:58 AM

My 17 yr old daughter, her younger sisters, and myself were just talking, about friends, and generally just about all the things that make people different and unique from one another. My oldest, matter of factly stated that one of her good male friends could never tell his mother he was gay. I had suspected anyway, and I know his mother…. I know her feelings towards homosexuality from past flip comments. I know she would not accept him being gay. So sad ! Then she continued on to say that she might be bisexual. She said she liked girls, but that she liked boys too. I was not surprised that she might like girls. But I was kind of surprised that she just said it without hesitation. To me this means that she feels comfortable telling me about herself openly. She trusts me and she knows I wont judge or turn my back on her. I have always been open with my girls, and that everyone is different. Black or White, Catholic or Jewish, Gay or Straight, Fat or Thin, Young or Old, Disability or Not, Orange or Apple !!

- nancy

Posted 03/28/09 06:27 PM