Momlogic issues a 21-day challenge: One mom has sex daily, the other refrains from sex ... here's what happened in week three.
Which brings a couple closer: physical intimacy or emotional intimacy? We put that to the test by putting two moms on a sex diet. One mom was instructed to have sex with her husband every day for 21 days, while the other was told to refrain from sex for 21 days, and then give us a week-by-week report. Here, tales of their sex (or no sex) in the city, week three ... in their own words.
After you hear what these moms have to say, let us know how how satisfied you are between the sheets with our survey below.
Daily Sex, Week Three
It's week three and it feels more like year three. I feel like this has been helping us, but it's also a pain in the ass...and legs... and other parts.
Day 15: We skip but PROMISE to do it tomorrow. We seriously needed a re-charge. I mean, come on. This is hard work and as I've mentioned, we can be pretty lazy.
Day 16: I'm annoyed we skipped yesterday because now we HAVE to do it tonight. But it ends up being great. Our little recharge helped. I noticed since our fight, he's been really wonderful.
Day 17: We muscle through it again. It's good, but it sort of feels like we are going through the motions. Just one more thing to do. (And with a baby in the house, we don't need another thing on our to-do list!)
Day 18: Again, we are so tired. Sometimes you just want to watch TV and call it a night. When I remind my husband that we have to have sex, he says, "Do we have to?" Seriously. That's what he said. In normal circumstances, I would have been furious if he said something this insulting to me, but in this case, I'm completely on the same page. I say, "I know. It sucks, but let's just get it over with." We both laugh, have sex and it is great for both of us. Happy endings all around.
Day 19: We have wine to help get us in the mood, but we are both so over this whole experiment. At this point, I feel like forcing ourselves to have sex is counterproductive because it feels like a chore now. We do it anyway. It's good, I guess, but nothing really to write home about.
Day 20: We skip.
Day 21: Last day, thank God. This is lame, but we skipped again. I know these are the last 2 days and we should have ended with a bang (pun intended). But we went away for the night with our daughter and two other families. We were all in the same house and our baby slept with us in our room. So the circumstances really didn't allow it. (See? We had an excuse.)
Now that it's over, I'm happy that we did this. We are getting along so much better and we make a lot more sexual innuendos than we have in years. We flirt now and are actually going on a date tonight -- alone -- with no other couples, no baby, no occasion. I think this 21-day Sex Diet is a huge reason why things are going so well for us. I recommend this highly. If you commit to even just having the discussion about sex every day for 21 days, this will change things for you. I'm living proof.
No Sex, Week Three
"I'm done? Really? We can have sex now??"
Those are the very excited words that came flying out of my husband's mouth as I informed him we were done with our 21-day "sexperiment." The guy deserves a medal, let me tell you.
Not because he went three weeks with (almost) no sex... but for listening to me waffle back and forth about whether this was a good idea or a very, very bad one.
Now that I have my life back--and it truly felt like someone else was in control of it--I can see pros and cons to the sex diet. PRO: The thought of sex being off-limits was surprisingly a turn-on. Maybe this sex diet dude
really does know what he's doing. CON: More times than not, it felt like a punishment.
I think with this sex diet should come a big, fat warning. If you are in a relationship that's been drifting apart or you feel totally disconnected from each other, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. If things aren't working out
between you already, I can imagine this would put an even bigger wrench in it. If you're fine with not getting it, this is just another reason to keep you apart.
For me, and I'm guessing many other moms, sex is sometimes the only tangible thing we have to focus on our partner and drown out the rest of it--kids, jobs, bills, etc. Taking the time to be physical with each other is the one way we're able to connect--even more than date night where we find ourselves talking about those same kids, jobs, bills, etc. For three weeks, when it came to the time where we'd normally get it on, we spent it apart. It was easier to read a magazine or go to sleep instead of make the effort to be
together when we weren't going to BE TOGETHER. The foot rubs and flirty teasing aren't a reality for us. As much as I enjoyed it, if we're given an hour a week alone together, I don't want him rubbing my feet. That's what pedicures are for!
The most important thing I took from our time apart between the sheets is that sex with my husband is not something I "should" do. It's something I WANT to do. Sex is a way for us to check in with each other, check out of being Mommy and Daddy and keep our relationship alive. And learning that little gem was priceless.
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