Momlogic issues a 21-day challenge: One mom has sex daily, the other refrains from sex ... here's what happened in week two.
Which brings a couple closer: physical intimacy or emotional intimacy? We put that to the test by putting two moms on a sex diet. One mom was instructed to have sex with her husband every day for 21 days, while the other was told to refrain from sex for 21 days, and then give us a week-by-week report. Here, tales of their sex (or no sex) in the city, week two ... in their own words.
Daily Sex, Week Two
After week one, I started really looking forward to week two to see what was going to come next. We agreed that we would really make a concerted effort to do it all seven days. I reminded myself that, if anything, this whole experiment would help tighten our abs.
Day 8: The sex was OK. He hit the big O, I didn't. Fine by me.
Day 9: We finish watching TV, and I remind him we have to have sex. He sighs from the kitchen. "I thought you liked this experiment!" I say, surprised. He sighs again. "At first I did, but nothing has changed," he says. "You don't wear lingerie or anything. It's the same still."
Hmm. I suggest we give each other 10 compliments each instead, because we never do that. He jokingly says, "There's no time. I'll give you 2"--then proceeds to give me two very sweet compliments. When I ask if he wants his, he says, "I don't need them." I feel that is very telling about the difference between men and women.
No sex tonight, but (for me) the compliments are almost better than sex. Almost.
Day 10: Since my husband commented on the fact that I don't wear lingerie last night, I decide to take his cue and wear some tonight. I put on a sexy nightie that I'd gotten at my bridal shower long ago but had never worn, and my husband loves it. It's fun, and adds some variety. He even picks out my outfit for tomorrow night. Oh, the anticipation!
Day 11: To my husband's delight, I come to bed in the outfit he picked out the night before. On a whim, I added shoes. I now know he's not a shoe man, but he loves everything else. Even though I'm usually too tired to deal with lingerie, wearing sexy outfits definitely makes the sex more exciting. I notice we're both way more into it.
Day 12: We are SO TIRED. It's late. We've been dealing with the baby all night, so sex is the last thing we want to do. But, in the name of the experiment, we go for it. Shockingly, the sex is amazing! This just goes to show you that being too tired really isn't an excuse. Yes, it's easier to go to sleep, but no matter how much you think you can't muster up the energy, you can. I'm living proof!
Day 13: My legs are sore. He's annoying me. We skipped.
Day 14: I start thinking about my marriage--obsessing about it, actually. I had thought this experiment would help my relationship, not hurt it by highlighting the bad stuff--like the fact we've lost that loving feeling. But that's what's happening.
I let my feelings fester all day, and when my husband arrives home, I pick a fight with him. He's surprised, and the fight soon becomes centered around where we are in our marriage, what our future holds, etc. It turns out to be an excellent conversation. And, as always, I'm shocked that I could be so "anti" my husband one minute and all singing his praises the next. Go figure.
We discuss having sex, but opt to snuggle instead--something we don't do nearly as often as we should. I believe that it's because of this exercise that we did it.
To sum up, week two was great in my opinion. Even though we skipped a few nights, I feel like the sex diet is definitely helping our marriage.
No Sex, Week Two
So there we were, lying in bed... talking, sharing, my feet being ever-so-gently rubbed. It was heaven.
But we weren't allowed to have sex. Right?
Yeah, all that did was make us want it even more. Who is this sex therapist, and what is he trying to prove with this "no sex diet"? I think maybe he's not getting any and this is all his cruel way to make those who do get it--although not as frequently as they used to--as frustrated as he, himself, may be. Jackass.
OK, back to the challenge.
Sex on that foot-rubbing night was fantastic. It wasn't because we "should" or because we actually had a minute alone so what else is there to do ... It was I-can't-get-enough-of-you-and-love-every-ounce-of-you sex and let.me.tell.you ... It was GOOOOOD.
The next six days were very different. After a few days to ride the physical and emotional wave of that one night, we were back on our "diet," and I was becoming a bit snippy. I never realized that the act of "doing it" was actually a physical release that I counted on. And I was starting to get a little resentful that I couldn't get any all because some stupid author said so.
I'm a grown woman in love with a great guy ... and I can't get laid. WTF, people!
So now we end the week with me reading a magazine in bed and he's downstairs on his computer. I feel disconnected and alone and just wish I had that excited-to-try-this-test feeling I had a week ago.
Maybe I'll just go downstairs and call this whole thing off.
Coming next week: Week Three of Two Moms on a Sex Diet