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Secrets in the Suburbs: We're Swingers

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Momlogic peeks over the fence to show you the racy stuff that might be going on in your own neighborhood.

The new CBS primetime drama Swingtown brings the wild '70s trend of key parties and wife-swapping to the masses. But is this a thing of the past, or does it really still go on behind closed doors?

Momlogic investigated and found Tara, 28, who has been married to James, 36, for three years and has a 2-year-old son. Here's what they had to say about being swingers.


ML: How long have you been swinging?

Tara: James and I have been swinging off and on for nearly six years. We dated three years prior to getting married.

ML: What does swinging mean?

Tara: Swinging to us means "playing" as a couple with another couple. We meet compatible couples for drinks, so we can chat about things. Within the first couple hours, we know if they are a couple we want to have sex with.

ML: What was your first swinging experience like?

Tara: We had a threesome--including James, myself and another man, and that led to swinging with other couples. The first time was OK, but it continued to get better every single time.

ML: How does the swing lifestyle work when you have children?

Tara: Well, it's very hard to find other swinging couples who have children, but once you do, it's a plus, because we can all relate to something other than just sex--we become friends as well.

ML: What do you do with your son when you have couples over?

Tara: He's at a babysitter's house.

ML: Do you plan on being open about your lifestyle with your son?

Tara: Yes, absolutely! As soon as he is an adult, we will be open with him. We are also OK with him choosing the same type of lifestyle as long as he knows it's not an everyday thing.

While Tara and James appear happy with their decision, if you're a suburban couple craving some variety--beware! Most of the couples we talked with made it very clear trying to replace a bad sex life and/or relationship with swinging is not healthy, and is a sure-fire way to end your relationship.

If you would like to share your "Secret in the Suburbs" with momlogic, click here. Next Friday, we'll get a peek inside the life of a neighborhood mother of twins who moonlights as a "mominatrix."

next: Who's Your Celeb Baby Daddy?
26 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous June 13, 2008, 1:15 PM


Marsha  June 15, 2008, 9:32 PM

This goes against everything a marriage is suppose to be about , not to metion disease .As a joke I said to my husband so what do you think, are you game ?
He said no and if I am for me to find myself a good lawyer I would need one .
He’s not sharing his wife with anyone and If I want to Swing , I can swing with him . Love that Man !

Anonymous June 16, 2008, 6:52 PM

I have to admit, the idea of it seems pretty exciting, but I’m sure that the reality is a lot harsher. I made a similar joke to my husband (to Marsha’s post) and he had the same reaction! STDs and emotional repercussions aren’t worth the hassle to us; we have a great sex life and our thinking is, If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it (with something like that!).

Les June 18, 2008, 10:04 AM

It’s like everything else in life. People must decide what works for themselves. We’ve been swinging for nearly 2 years and it’s been great for our 25-year marraige… and YES, you have to be very careful. It’s not nearly as simple and carefree as it was in the ‘70’s for sure! The great thing is that there are so many safe and no-pressure ways to meet like-minded couples these days while maintaing anonymity, it’s not to difficult to put your toe in the water. Just be absolutely sure you and your partner are on the same page and we would NEVER advise playing solo… unless you are bigger fan of ugly drama than we are. To help explode the misperception of who swings… we are definitely suburbanites, college educated, just put our 2 kids through college, and loving life together more than ever!

T. M June 18, 2008, 12:10 PM

I have been married 14 years and have in joyed a 3 some with a friend and his wife .I have tryed to talk my wife into it but she is also afaid of S.T.D I have said we could be safe but she wont go for it .I would share my wife with someone I got to know and trusted .I would in joy the lifestyle I think .Our I would like try with her.

Jake  June 19, 2008, 12:05 AM

T.M. , if I were your wife I would not trust you as far as I could throw you .
There is no 100& SAFE SEX ,going outside of the marriage , how would you feel if your wife agreed to do this for you and she ended up with a disease . Man up here and get some help your marriage is headed for trouble .

Anonymous June 22, 2008, 7:50 PM

how do u think people ask other people to swing? i think the people down the street like me and my hubby….

weloveswinglifestyle June 22, 2008, 9:32 PM

Tara and James have an open relationship and love each other very much. What you people dont get is that, in order to be in the lifestyle you have to have a GREAT marriage to start. You need to fix your marriage see a counselor. This is for fun and excitement and to make friends .
Oh and anonymous, you can always bring up this new episode . Say ” Hey did you guys see swingtown on tv… see what their reaction is.. best way to open up a topic..
Good Luck Tara and James, Wish you were in our neck of the woods!

Jake  June 22, 2008, 11:59 PM

It is inmoral bottom line .

Tara and James June 24, 2008, 12:23 PM

Well so mnay people make negative comments about the lifestyle.It’s not a everyday life and you do not sleep with everyone that you meet and yes STD’S are a big concern why you have to make everyone is safe and tested,which not many people in the lifestyle do.Agree have to have a great marriage and does not mean marriage is in trouble cause you swing.Have to remember big differance between fun sex and love.Immoral lol how is it immoral?Look in the bible folk’s everyone was invovled in orgies.Just cause someone swing’s doe not mean they are bad people,what they do behind closed door’s is thier business and not anyone else’s.When all you people that think it’s immoral,cheating,fixing a marriage etc…when you pay my bill’s than you have a right to say to someone what to do.Do not ridicule something you know nothing about.

weloveswinglifestyle June 24, 2008, 8:51 PM

In YOUR opinion it is immoral. Not everyone thinks as you do , Thank goodness.As of 2007 there is an estimated 4 MILLION swingers in America alone.

dan July 1, 2008, 2:47 PM

And if only those knew how many “Christians” swing? The relative amount of STD’s to Swingers and then to the rest of the population is very low. There is more of a chance you will be killed in an auto accident than get an STD if you’re careful. Most places and individuals require testing or use of condoms before sex. Religion has thrown guilt and the scare of disease on those who refuse to accept the controlling behavior of religion. Know the persons before sex. Have all tested and regularly. Use condoms until sure that all are honest and truthful. And stay that way!

Lisa Belanga July 16, 2008, 3:12 PM

I am not into “swinging” but I have to say, for those people preaching the immorality of it just drives me nuts. I was raised Catholic and although I don’t attend church, I am a very spiritual person and do believe in Jesus Christ. But it still baffles me why, why do people think they have the right to impose their moral beliefs on others? I just don’t get it. Live and let live. If they are not hurting themselves or anyone else, then who cares? Really. Why does anyone else care? Do you have nothing better to think about? I know I do. My neighbors could have orgies every night of the week and as long as my children weren’t exposed to it, then more power to ya! Good sex is great, no matter how you get it. If we weren’t meant to enjoy sex God wouldn’t of made it feel good, and for those of you saying he did it for procreation reasons, it still doesn’t make sense why it feels good for women, because it makes no difference as to whether or not we like it to be able to conceive. Just my two cents. God bless.

LOLMomma August 18, 2008, 10:17 AM

What I find humorous is the people that do say that this is immoral, are being just as immoral, as judging people is immoral…and if you are reading the bible, every sin is weighed the same. These sins are the same, you choose to swing, you choose to judge…same thing. I am not a swinger, I know a few swingers, my husband and I have talked about it (which is exhilarating in and of itself)…we have a VERY good marriage, and a VERY good sex life…however, we do not equate our love for each other by our sex life.

The one couple we know that are swingers have even told us how people comment how in love with each other they are…that is the only way that this would work. There are so many people with jealous bones in their body, neither my husband and I have that…we are both very secure with our love and marriage…and I believe that is why we don’t have the jealous bone…

If swinging offends you simply don’t do it. You are welcome to pull the moral card, just remember, you too will be judged in the end.

dandj August 19, 2008, 10:48 AM

in our thinking ,, to each there own. we have a great communication between each other ,we have great sex and when we swing it is just goooood sex. i believe all the nay sayers in reality are to nervous to state they would like to do it. think in your head how many times you have seen some one and the thoughts that ran thru your heads . be it man or woman .. when all us dated in our younger yrs did we not test waters before we got married ??. what was the difference. besides a ring. we say if tara and james were living next to us they could come over ANYTIME . and j says bring the puppy .lol d p.s. we are lifers on sls

sandee September 30, 2008, 7:06 PM

funniest comments are “it’s immoral”

like “Jeebus” and the invisible guy in the sky give a shit about where 2 nobodies in Podunk, USA get their jollies from when millions of people are dying and women in Darfur are raped in then quartered.

yeah, SWINGING is sooo important to “gawd”. He’s really caring on it, huh? That’s A #1 important stuff. Bet he’s dealing with that RIGHT NOW!

Samoys October 3, 2009, 9:10 AM

lot about you

Kerinwan October 10, 2009, 11:22 AM

Great. Now i can say thank you!,

Afirawen October 11, 2009, 3:52 PM

Great site. Keep doing.,

Doctorset November 20, 2009, 7:28 AM

This is the welcome page for the Association web site.

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