Momlogic issues a 21-day challenge: One mom has sex daily, the other refrains from sex...here's what happened in week one.
Which brings a couple closer: physical intimacy or emotional intimacy? We put that to the test by putting two moms on a sex diet. One mom was instructed to have sex with her husband every day for 21 days, while the other was told to refrain from sex for 21 days, and then give us a week-by-week report. Here, tales of their sex (or no sex) in the city, week one...in their own words.
Daily Sex, Week One
The thought of having sex 21 days in a row scared me A LOT. That's why I decided I had to try it. If it's that repellent of an idea, it's possibly a red flag that my sex life isn't what it should be. I thought maybe this would help my marriage. But I knew it would be tough--after all, my husband and I both work full-time, and my husband is also studying for his master's degree. Plus, we have a 10-month-old baby at home. But this only made me more determined to try. I've always liked a challenge!
When I brought up the idea to my husband, he was excited...until I told him I'd keep track of our sexual activity in a diary, that is. But he quickly went back to being excited again once he realized the amount of sex that would be involved. Guys are so easy that way.
Day 1: Today proves the power of anticipation. I think just knowing we have 21 more days ahead of us made the sex a lot better than usual. We were both less inhibited between the sheets.
Day 2: How quickly we go back to the way we were! The sex was good, but it was similar to the way it's been for the past five years. Fine, but nothing out of the ordinary.
Day 3: Tonight, we were feeling very lazy, but forced ourselves to do it anyway. Possibly because of our attitude, the sex was kind of lame. But it is important to note that we were in a minor argument minutes before doing it--but, because sex was on our agenda, we prevented the fight from escalating. So daily sex just might mean less fighting. Hmm, something to consider.
Day 4: We had to force ourselves to do it tonight, and I was the only one who hit the big O. Fine by me. :)
Day 5: We actually didn't see each other tonight. I went out with friends, and he was asleep when I got home. So I must confess we did not have sex. I felt secretly relieved to skip (so tired!), but I did think about the missed burned calories from not doing it.
Day 6: Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise. Tonight, we had a lazy standoff...here's our exchange, verbatim:
"You do the work."
"No. You do the work."
"No. You do the work."
"I always do the work."
"I know. But I don't feel like it."
We skipped (again) and went to bed. Before you get upset that I'm blowing the experiment, not having sex two days in a row, note the fact that we have to discuss sex every night is a huge thing. This experiment forces us to address it.
Day 7: I gave in and did the work this time. It was GREAT! I hadn't had this much fun in bed since the night we met. Literally, the night we met.
I'm really looking forward to Week 2. We agreed that we would make a concerted effort to do it all seven days. And I'm thinking even if I get bored by this, it should help strengthen my abs!
No Sex, Week One
When I told my husband we were going to have to go 21 days with no sex, I thought he was just going to pack up our two kids, age 2 and 4, and go camping or something. But no, he was supportive of the exercise--after all, it was all in the name of momlogic.
I have to admit, the first few days were a breeze. Considering I work days and he works nights, we barely have time to glance at each other anyway--much less get it on.
When the weekend arrived, he seemed to forget what we agreed to. Imagine that. But when I refreshed his memory, that's when everything changed. The idea that we could be alone and not have sex was strangely freeing. Don't get me wrong--my husband still does it for me. I totally dig everything about him and feel lucky that he's the guy I'll be having sex with for the rest of my life. But when you've got kids and full-time jobs and stress--sometimes sex feels like another thing you "should" check off your list.
We spent time lying in bed together and talking--even enjoyed a few kisses. When he rubbed my feet, it wasn't to get the party started, but because he just wanted me to feel good. And that made me happy. The idea that there was no pressure to perform but just a few moments to take each other in and appreciate... now that was nice. Ironically, I felt closer to him than I had in a while.
The problem? All that appreciating and closeness made me want to have sex. But did I?
Coming next week: Week Two of Two Moms on a Sex Diet