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The Art of the Quickie

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Who says great sex can't be speedy?

Think fast--when was the last time you indulged in hours of luxuriously long lovemaking? After you quit laughing hysterically, you're probably thinking, "Who the heck has time for that?" And you're not alone. With all the demands of motherhood, having rose-petal sex isn't always realistic (or, face it, even remotely plausible). And that's why quickies are a mom's best friend.

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They're fast, easy, and don't require a lot of effort. But if you think you're cheating your sex life by squeezing in last-minute passion, then get this: According to a new study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the majority of men and women prefer quickies (seven to 13 minutes) to longer sex (13 minutes and more). So what are you waiting for? Grab your guy and get busy!

Have sex on your brain: Sure, it's hard to feel amorous when your to-do list begs your attention, but according to new research, your body is capable of getting turned on, even when your mind is elsewhere. Why? Scientists discovered arousal and desire are two different entities. Desire starts in your mind (Mmm...who will you fantasize about today?) while arousal starts in your body (who knew?), and you don't always need that mental trigger to get going.

But if you still want a primer, look for little moments during the day to squeeze in passion. Think: Sending your hubby a sexy email ("What are you doing? I'm horny!"), squeezing his butt when you pass by, or pinning him against the wall for a quick (but hot) goodbye kiss. The idea is to maintain an erotic vibe all day long, so when you fancy a quickie, you'll both be sprung in seconds.

Tweak your expectations:
Like most married couples, the bedroom is where most of your romps likely take place. But to jump-start passion fast, have sex anywhere but the bed. Studies show when people in love share a new experience, their sexual attraction soars.

So, once the kids are sound asleep, get busy in the backseat of the car, on the washing machine, even the backyard! Oh, and ditch the notion that quick sex has to be seamless. Experts say that, thanks to Hollywood love scenes, both men and women expect quickies to look perfect, but this unrealistic perception just leads to disappointment. So if you giggle, fall down, or make a weird noise during sex, just consider it all part of the fun!

Tune into your surroundings: Take time to savor tactile senses--the feeling of cool sheets, the scent of your hubby's shirt collar, or your smooth, silky skin. The more you enjoy physical sensations, the better you'll be at channeling sensuality quickly.

Oh, and don't stress if you're dry down there right before you do the deed. Research conducted at Rutgers University found there is no direct link between arousal and vaginal lubrication. But if you need a quick boost, just grab a water-based lubricant (like K-Y or Astroglide) to heighten sensation for both of you.

Do you and your hubby indulge in quickies?


next: Father Doesn't Always Know Best
6 comments so far | Post a comment now
April June 10, 2008, 7:11 PM

We indulge in quickies all the time! He’s a full-time student, and works full-time… we have a 13 month old and I babysit our 2 year nephew. We’re too tired to have nice, slow sex every night… but we’re TTC so we have quickies every other night instead!

Abby June 10, 2008, 7:48 PM

Remember LL Cool J’s “6 Minutes of Pleasure” …. I guess he was on to something in the 90’s.

dana June 11, 2008, 12:04 AM

i haven’t had sex with my husband in 3 months. And I think part of the problem is that I feel he expects the works. If we can pull off a quickie…I’m game for doing it at least once a week!

Anonymous June 11, 2008, 8:29 PM

Will take any way I can get it!!!

Anonymous June 11, 2008, 8:30 PM

Will take it any way I can get it!!!

momof9 June 18, 2008, 10:41 AM

Now that our youngest is 10 we have much more time for the long slow lovin’ but when they were all little the quickie was our specialty and they are right in the article about staying ready all day long. You never know when a free moment will “pop” up. crotchless undies or no undies are both a big help for me to be ready any time we have some time alone. Dresses or skirts are much better than pants too because if you are interrupted you can just drop the skirt and you are “decent”


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