Top 5 Worst Movies for Girls

Top 5 Worst Movies for Girls

Sunday, June 1, 2008

filed under: tween & teen logic

Forget about Miley, Britney and Paris: the real bad influence on our daughters--these five flicks

Top 5 worst movies for girls:

	1) Grease Sandy starts out a sweet, innocent virgin until the Pink Ladies teach her to dress and act like a cheap harlot. With cigarette dangling out of her mouth, sporting skin-tight leather pants, she finally wins Danny Zukow's heart and, as they fly away in their car to the strains of "We go together like rama lama lama ka ding-a da ding-de dong," one can only think that within a week Sandy's gonna get knocked up, contract a venereal disease...or both.
	2) Cinderella (1950) There is no detectable reason why Cinderella is in love with the prince--they spend almost zero screen time together. She'd make a better match for that fat little mouse, Octavius, than the dull-as-paint prince. Unless Cinderella is just looking for a meal ticket, it's sad to think a young girl with such an affinity for animals doesn't end up studying to be a veterinarian.
	3) Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants One of the main characters (a teen) completely throws herself at the cute boy and then has random sex on the beach. Problem. Should've been called Sisterhood of the Traveling Underage Sexploits.
	4) The Little Mermaid Ariel falls in love with a guy because she thinks he's hot. Then, he falls for her when she doesn't even have a voice! In the end, she changes herself (from a mermaid to a human) just to be with him. A beautiful, mute mermaid gallivanting around in a seashell bra might be every man's fantasy, but for little girls, it sends a fishy message.
	5) Clueless Yes, Clueless is based on the classic Jane Austin book Emma, but there are major differences. Emma wasn't an idiot and Cher well, she's got good fashion sense, but not much else. And what's up with her ending up dating her stepbrother? Creepy.

24 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

i think yall are full of crap. no little girl is gonna think of that when they are watching those shows.

- candace

Posted 12/06/08 01:21 AM

ok this is disgusting. i think you’re article is hilarious & you make some excellent points. what is wrong with everybody??? and why are all of these girls so into mindless disney. disney gave me unreal expectations about life… and i think the princesses are a waste of space.

- Anonymous

Posted 02/25/09 08:05 AM

Is this blog for real? I keep reading articles, and I’m like “this has to be satire.” But I’m kinda doubtful…

- mach turtle

Posted 10/10/09 08:35 PM

I’m a teen and i think this is stupid i don’t smoke i never had sex and i never pranced around in a bra you are over reacting if you have a daughter don’t hold on to her let her make her own choices and let her be independent

- secret

Posted 11/08/09 05:45 PM

Comment Page: << 1 2 >>