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Who's Sleeping with Your Husband?

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The other woman wants you to know--your husband is cheating and she's loving it. Find out why.

It feels like an epidemic. From politicians sleeping with high-priced prostitutes, the cover of New York magazine revealing The Secret Lives of Married Men and recent allegations in Vanity Fair magazine that former president Clinton had an affair with actress Gina Gershon, we're constantly being bombarded with reports about infidelity.

Research shows up to 60% of men will have affairs while they're married. That's 3 out of 5! What drives them to do it, and what can we do to make sure it doesn't happen to us?

We went straight to the source to uncover the real story about why our husbands are cheating. You'll hear from four self-proclaimed mistresses and a loud and proud prostitute as they reveal why our husbands are turning to them for sex and companionship. No woman expects her husband will be the one who cheats. But the odds aren't in your favor. Find out why, how you can tell, and what you can do if it's happening to you. 

Have you ever wondered what married men tell their mistresses about you and why they're cheating?

Find out what your husband tells HER about YOU and what you can do to affair-proof your marriage right NOW. Click on part 2 below.

Take our Sex, Lies and Cheating Poll.


Click here to see the Hollywood's Rumored 'Other Women' Gallery.

About the Experts...
spacer dr shannon fox
Shannon Fox is a licensed family therapist in Los Angeles and a mother of three.
  rabbi sherre hirsch
Rabbi Sherre Hirsch is a mother of three and the author of We Plan, God Laughs, and offers non-denominational spiritual advice.


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222 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous June 3, 2008, 10:41 PM

What about the men who won’t or CAN’T have sex with their wives? That’s my case… for 3 years now it’s been a constant battle to get even any affection from my husband. He claims he has ZERO sex drive.. which I believe. But I have needs too, and I have made those needs quite obvious to my husband.

I’ve cheated twice.. and this last time with a married man. I feel awful for it.. Yes, it was fun and took my mind off of things (we were there for eachother in our equally unhappy marriages.. ). But that only delays the real problem. I just asked my husband to move out until he can get the help he desperately needs and I’m not contacting my married ‘friend’ any longer.

And now I’m alone. Fun.

Mark June 3, 2008, 10:43 PM

I waited until I was 36 years old before I got married. I am male and got it out of my system before I got married. Then I was married in the church and sealed the marrige between my wife and God. I have no desire to cheat because of the promise I made to God and my wife. Also, my wife and I are very close. If more people waited longer for the right one and had God in their lives I don’t think this would be as big a problem.

Robin June 3, 2008, 10:49 PM

As an old friend once told me…”Men wouldn’t cheat if women didn’t let them.” I believe that it goes both ways.

Craig June 3, 2008, 10:50 PM

To Mark at 10:43;

The only thing I would disagree with in your post is that one doesn’t HAVE to wait to find the right person. My wife was 22 when we got married and I had turned 23 about two weeks prior.

Like I said in my earlier post, it’s all about integrity and commitment, which is a rare find these days.

Anonymous June 3, 2008, 10:50 PM

Men are such cry babies when they can’t handle situations, such as problems in their marriage. They resort to talking to another woman and simply run to them for comfort. They’re selfish cowards who only think about themselves and want their cake and eat it too. I say if you’re going to cheat, break it off before you decide to cheat. But of course, men are too selfish and dumb to think of that. They fall for anyone with breasts that can coddle and baby them.

Craig June 3, 2008, 10:53 PM

Nice generalization, anon 10:50.

Apparently you can’t read, as many of the men responding in this thread are proud of the fact that we don’t cheat and have no desire to do so.

Don’t let facts get in the way of your bitterness over your bad experiences, though.

Ivan June 3, 2008, 10:55 PM

Any man or woman who says they would never think about cheating hasn’t had the chance to do so. I am not saying you would cheat, but you have thought about it, if you are totally honest with youself. I’ve told me spouse about my chances and she has told me about hers. It is that recognition that we are sexual beings and part of what makes us us that keeps us from actually hurting each other with petty jealousy that would drive one of us to cheat

Craig June 3, 2008, 11:00 PM

re: Ivan 10:55,

I’m not saying the thought wouldn’t cross my mind! I sing in a throwback group and at nearly every wedding we do a bridesmaid or a woman in attendance make it pretty clear that an opportunity is present by staring me down or dancing right in front of me. I’d be lying if I said I never once entertained a thought. Thing is…I’ll never act on it. :)

Sheryl June 3, 2008, 11:04 PM

Some people evolve to a point where sex isn’t as important as companionship and sharing a life together. That doesn’t mean that sex isn’t a part of a healthy relationship, but it shouldn’t be THE reason for cheating. Couples grow apart. Intimacy has very little to do with sex. No woman should feel that she risks losing her husband to someone because she’s not “sexxing him up”. If anyone married for sex, they married for the wrong reasons.

Ron June 3, 2008, 11:07 PM

Give god head Jobs and you will keep your man, Ladies ?

Craig June 3, 2008, 11:10 PM

Way to add to the discussion, Ron at 11:07. You’re really supporting the argument that some of us men are trying to get across…that it’s not all about getting our rocks off. Thanks!

Rob June 3, 2008, 11:10 PM

Its NO surprise to me why men cheat. Women blame the man for everything, they feel they have to compete against men, they gain WAAAY to much weight, especially during pregnancy and never lose it again. Women today are very selfish and think mainly of themselves.
Oh, the sex is good until she gets that ring and then its “game over”. Most women I know see marriage as something that is easy to get out of when things get rough. They are driven completely by money and more money. I could go on and on. That’s why I married a well educated, wonderful woman from another country who puts me and our marriage above all things. You can have all the militant,competitive, spoiled and mouthy American women.

Wife screwed over June 3, 2008, 11:11 PM

It’s about lack of sex and lack of respect. If you treat him like an other, he will skulk away and go screw someone else just to feel better. Not to mention to screw you over as well for treating him so poorly. In this way he will justify it. It’s not because he a coward and can’t face up, it’s because he was told over his lifetime that he had to buy into what we as wives are dishing out and go along with the program. The problem is is that the program maybe, just maybe takes the light off of him just a little too much. It leaves him in the wings, alone and disrespected. A nobody within his own house. Hmmmm, time to escape.

anonymous June 3, 2008, 11:18 PM

My wife once said, “Forget it - I’m a menopausal woman, I’m not interested in sex.” And with that remark our sex life died.

Isn’t she “CHEATING” me?

M June 3, 2008, 11:26 PM

I have been married for 23 years. We have a decent marriage— could be better. We have never had any problems in the bedroom. When I got married, I said I’d never cheat on my husband. Well, that’s also what the man I’m cheating with also said— that he’d never cheat on his wife. I stay home every day and cook and clean and have sex with my husband whenever he asks me. All I have to say is, men don’t neglect your wives!!!

K June 3, 2008, 11:27 PM

Hey, if my hubby cheats because it is all about the sex, then I say have at it. Some other woman is welcome to “enjoy” the crappy sex I’ve had to put up with for 25 years. You can talk about it, draw a map, give him a book or beg and he’ll still never get it. Why? Because he doesn’t want to. He just wants to get off with no complications…like actually having to please someone, be truly intimate or have anything that might even resemble a real relationship. So have at it because I know whoever has an affair with my husband is getting a guy who still screws like a sophomore in high school in the back seat of a car. Good Luck!

MGA June 3, 2008, 11:29 PM

I have been reading alot of the commentary left on this blog. I will have to agree that unfortunately there are “some” woman and unfortunately it happens to be a large number that tend to forget that first should come your husband, then your children and not your children and then your husband. By no means is this comment intended to offend any mothers that do stay at home because that is ALOT of work. But at what point do you draw the line between being a mother and being a woman and lover to your spouse?? It is easier for a man to have an affair because he brings himself into a world other than that of his own. Now…he may not have any intention of leaving his wife, but he is seeking that relief that he is not being fulfilled in his mind, whether it be emotionally/mentally and often times sexually. Yes, moraly it is wrong but lets face it when you start to forget about yourself as a woman because you are busy raising kids, cleaning, cooking and dealing with daily stressors at the end of the day you are still a woman and you need to take care of yourself because men will pick up on that lack of confidence. Unfortunately, some woman forget that a man wants that passion and desire, they want to see their woman put in that effort. Now, you may not look like Cindy Crawford or the cute waitress in the cafe but you can certainly take care of your appearance and become desirable to him, no one wants to come home to a slob whether it be a man or a woman in the relationship. Some men look to another woman in affair to fulfill that void…ever heard a woman that has been cheated on say “He cheated on me with her! she’s not even that good looking!!” Well…that may sometimes be the case, but guess what? she may not be looking but she sure is doing somethng that you are not that has his attention and that is the real threat, forgetting to do the little things in and out of the bedroom….

Christal June 3, 2008, 11:30 PM

I have never felt so strongly to respond to an article as this one. I actually agreed with all but 4 of the responses on page onewhich may sound like a conflick but hear my side… married soon 27 years.. felt & still feel husband was sent to me from God, still don’t know why.. numerous problems on my part.. lack of interest deffinately not one of them.. neither is imagination or adventurism. I intraduced & allowed several sexual partners to join us over the years.. female as well as male .. and yet he still had affairs.. the biggest problem from that is / wasn’t the sex it was the betrayal from lying to me… that is the hardest thing to heal…We are still together.. still have problems.. still continue to make it work.. trick is for both partners to not ” Fall out of Love at the same time”.. it will come back if it’s true.

bc June 3, 2008, 11:32 PM

only dirty low bad people are adulterers

anon June 3, 2008, 11:32 PM

I agree with whoever said marriage is not just about man and wife it’s also about God. Without God in a marriage what’s the point of the vows?
My husband is my best friend, my lover and my baby’s daddy. He says he would never f up what we have and I agree although we both have opportunity to cheat constantly. It’s not worth it! Not only are we are hot in the sheets but can laugh, bullshit and be serious together; although the serious is rare hahah I highly recommend friendship on fire!
Hey, God’s not done with me yet so don’t flip about the cussing!

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