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Who's Sleeping with Your Husband?

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The other woman wants you to know--your husband is cheating and she's loving it. Find out why.

It feels like an epidemic. From politicians sleeping with high-priced prostitutes, the cover of New York magazine revealing The Secret Lives of Married Men and recent allegations in Vanity Fair magazine that former president Clinton had an affair with actress Gina Gershon, we're constantly being bombarded with reports about infidelity.

Research shows up to 60% of men will have affairs while they're married. That's 3 out of 5! What drives them to do it, and what can we do to make sure it doesn't happen to us?

We went straight to the source to uncover the real story about why our husbands are cheating. You'll hear from four self-proclaimed mistresses and a loud and proud prostitute as they reveal why our husbands are turning to them for sex and companionship. No woman expects her husband will be the one who cheats. But the odds aren't in your favor. Find out why, how you can tell, and what you can do if it's happening to you. 

Have you ever wondered what married men tell their mistresses about you and why they're cheating?



Find out what your husband tells HER about YOU and what you can do to affair-proof your marriage right NOW. Click on part 2 below.


Take our Sex, Lies and Cheating Poll.

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Click here to see the Hollywood's Rumored 'Other Women' Gallery.


About the Experts...
spacer dr shannon fox
Shannon Fox is a licensed family therapist in Los Angeles and a mother of three.
  rabbi sherre hirsch
Rabbi Sherre Hirsch is a mother of three and the author of We Plan, God Laughs, and offers non-denominational spiritual advice.

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222 comments so far | Post a comment now
tracey June 3, 2008, 11:34 PM

My husband cheated on me, before I found out I agreed to marry him. And the woman was so ugly and I asked him why, he said he thought i didnt love him anymore. The kicker is we had great sex, and we had a good life. This woman sought him out and made comments that aroused his interests. Men cheat because they want to. we can all blame each other. just like woman they cheat cause the want to. What does a woman or wife do when thier husband’s sex drive is nil. In my case, I have not strayed, I couldnt cause that much pain to someone. When someone cheats, its not just about them or spouses its affects the kids the family, the friends its a domino effect. Not every one is the marrying type, so I agree with the perosn who said maybe waiting a little longer before jumping into a marriage early. Yeah, you might have kids later in life, but they will have a chance to grow uo in a 2 parent house.

Ann June 3, 2008, 11:35 PM

why can’t men help out more with the kids and be more involved in child rearing. That would leave the wife with more time and energy and it would bring the couple closer. The problem is when the husband becomes another child for the wife to nurture and take care of.

EJC June 3, 2008, 11:36 PM

Well I am trying to figure out what to do. I do not believe in cheating on your spouse. That is kinda a problem since my wife cheated on her first husband 4 or 5 times and the last time was with me. She propositioned me and was a sex kitten for over 10 years, before it started to dwindle. We would do it 10, 15 or 20 times a month and more. You think that is not all that much but I was on the road and not in town everyweek! I had to seek medical attention a few times to be able to keep up. So we made up for it sometimes SEVERAL TIMES a day. We have made movies, pictures and done things in places that most only see in movies. BUT Now then after being together for about 15 years and married for almost 13 she did not want to make love as often. We went without sex for over a year once. Now after being married for almost 18 years even though I do romantic things for her it is to no avail. I have sent naughty emails and cards Including certain of my own uh not to shabbily endowed body part, only to get a thanks or Luv you. I need a sex life with my wife other wise I feel we will definitely end up a very unhappy couple or worse divorced. I was not theis frustrated as a teenager.

Jackie June 3, 2008, 11:41 PM

Any justification for not respecting the life choices of another are illogical and the epitome of selfishness. Men grow up women gain weight. Look at yourself in the mirror. If what you need is a woman lying to you about yourself and how perfect you are then have at it. What a joke. Get prostate cancer and see how long you sex kitten stays around.

The Truth June 3, 2008, 11:45 PM

It’s all about selfishness in today’s society. Everyone is told they must make themsleves happy. Don’t worry about the kids, or your spouse. They come second. YOUR needs come first. That’s the message that prevails in this society. Worse yet, it’s aimed mainly towards women. Now, you have too many mothers who put their needs ahead of their children’s needs and ahead of their familiy’s needs. That’s not the way it works in a marriage and within a family. Same goes for a husband and father. Selflessness on the part of the husband and wife is the key to a good marriage. Once one places their own need above those of the other…it’s downhill.

Too many, particularly women, have bought into this notion that they must be happy every second of the day. Guess what? Some days are hard. That doesn’t mean you are in a bad marriage or have a bad life. Marriage, and life, is what you make of it. If you are selfish and truly put your own needs above others…don’t ever get married or have kids. You can’t handle it and you’ll just cause harm to people you are supposed to love unconditionally.

Vision June 3, 2008, 11:46 PM

It’s a fact - couples grow apart. Kids, jobs, stress, health issues…they all contribute. Sex can be a contributing factor; however, seldom is it the sole cause of an affair.

More often than not, it’s about the person feeling needed, wanted, and desirable. The person feels neglected or taken for granted by their spouse. There’s usually a lack of communication and a feeling of distance. I’m not justifying infidelity - just pointing out that there’s more to it than sex.


T June 3, 2008, 11:49 PM

I feel if more men took the time to look and see why there spouse is not fully happy and vise versa there would probley be less cheating. There is sometimes a lot lack in communication. The spouse can tend to think more about there-selves at times. You fail to remember the same thing you did when you first met that was good treatment is the best way to keep it. Don’t no one wanna be with somebody that forgets to spend time with them and hardly is putting any effort in the relationship.

Jen June 3, 2008, 11:50 PM

Hey Ron, be a kind, caring and loving husband and you shall receive that “head job”.

Jillian June 3, 2008, 11:58 PM

Watching it, it is very disheartening and almost makes one cynical about marriage. Growing up, I’ve always wanted that fairy tale life, but as a I got older and understood reality, nobody is perfect and there will be heartache and problems; however, what make me very upset is that these women/men do not have any remorse for their insignificant others and the ones that attribute to the adultery mentioned many times that they didn’t even think about that person’s spouse. Ummm…Yes, most people want what they can’t get, but as adults it out responsibility to accept the fact that we can’t get it. We tell our children all the time, “Tough. Thats Life you can’t always get what you want!!!” Also, that is what makes us humans; to be empathetic towards others and more mature and less selfish. Use it…thats why we have it, so that if we were ever put in a situation like that, it will make one stop and think about that person and be considerate of his/her’s feelings.

Jillian June 4, 2008, 12:01 AM

Watching it, it is very disheartening and almost makes one cynical about marriage. Growing up, I’ve always wanted that fairy tale life, but as a I got older and understood reality, nobody is perfect and there will be heartache and problems; however, what make me very upset is that these women/men do not have any remorse for their insignificant others and the ones that attribute to the adultery mentioned many times that they didn’t even think about that person’s spouse. Ummm…Yes, most people want what they can’t get, but as adults it out responsibility to accept the fact that we can’t get it. We tell our children all the time, “Tough. Thats Life you can’t always get what you want!!!” Also, that is what makes us humans; to be empathetic towards others and more mature and less selfish. Use it…thats why we have it, so that if we were ever put in a situation like that, it will make one stop and think about that person and be considerate of his/her’s feelings.

GC June 4, 2008, 12:03 AM

….wow, I like the commitment and integrity Craig, if you are married and really are true to your vows… cheating is a symptom of something being wrong “inside” the marriage be the man or the woman. That can’t be fixed “outside” of the marriage. Men need stroking, women need help with the children…so they can have time to look good for their men. Remember what you both did to get one another in the first place!

anonymous June 4, 2008, 12:04 AM

Having been the other woman, I am not skinny, very beautiful, or rich. I am overweight, but smart and attractive. I wear makeup, do my hair, have a professional degree and have a great job that I love. I have seen a lot of wives gain weight, lose their interest in sex (several friends of mine) and stop taking care of themselves. Some of these relationships (friends) have ended in divorce. I don’t believe the reason men have affairs simply because their wives have gained weight, there is a lot more to that. In fact, I strongly believe it is a communication breakdown. I see couples who don’t talk to each other, don’t listen to each other, and don’t realize marriages take work. Sure, the sex is important. I have urged my friends as well as co-workers, etc. when I hear about their marriage issues to get help, go to counseling, talk to their pastor or priest, exhaust all of their remedies.

Do I want him to leave his wife and kids, he.. no. I don’t want him to leave his family, and I sure would never marry him. I don’t love him. He is a friend, sure, but that’s it.

The Truth June 4, 2008, 12:04 AM

Jillian…I agree with you. As a man, I once held high hopes for my own future marriage. Now that I’m older, and witnessed so many bad marriages, I’m skittish about trusting a woman enough to tie the knot.

JoeB June 4, 2008, 12:09 AM

Anonymous,

Why were you the other woman? Why couldn’t you just leave your male “friend” alone, if for no other reason than out of respect for his wife? To say nothing of your lack of self respect.

linda June 4, 2008, 12:11 AM

First of all..I’m 50 and had a baby when I was 25 and my body is trim and sexy…so much for the ones that say you can’t have a good body later in life!
Also, my sex life is great! But it is not about my sex life with my husband or how good my shape is… it is about how much WE RESPECT and LOVE each other…THAT is what it is about! also communicate and make each other feel important!

Dena June 4, 2008, 12:19 AM

Well this is a shame either which way it goes. I feel everyone loses. I mean Lord frobid this “SO CHEATER” has kids . What are we teaching a already confused generation of young men and ladies for that matter. I just think this is a crock of crap. My moma always taught me for give my BLUNTNESS.. but the safest sex I could have was not to have sex at all. But if all else failed always talk to the hand. I know here in this day and time everyone and everything is stressed, but we all must hold on to one another. NOt run and jump down the nearest fluzeys pance. I agree strongly with prior statement that was made earler and that is “COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY” ,and to further add without trust in on another you really have nithing to build on. Oh yea BTW, that’s why I’m 34 and never been married, but do have 3 great kids.

cece June 4, 2008, 12:21 AM

If someone decides to cheat it won’t matter what is going on in the marriage they’ll do it anyway. They will always find an excuse for why they did and often will deny to their death that they have. How do I know all this? I’m old and have been around the block way to many times!

DJ June 4, 2008, 12:29 AM

The only thing I wish on these women, is that one day they find the man of THEIR DREAMS, get married, and then he does it to them….

joe June 4, 2008, 12:33 AM

if the woman at home would do her job in the bedroom, lots of times affairs would not happen. men go looking for what they can’t get at home, or what their wife won’t do.

Barbara June 4, 2008, 12:33 AM

my husband cheated on me also..we have since divorced. But what I would like to know is this..these “other women”..what do they expect to gain from an affair with a married man? Does she think she caught some prize of a guy? Does she think he’ll leave his wife and marry her? Does she think he’d remain faithful to her if he did? Anyone who would try to break up a family isn’t worth anything as a person.
This world is filled with available people, there is never any reason to to try to steal one who isn’t available.
As for the cheating spouse, why anyone would take them back after finding out about an affair is beyond me. If someone truly loves someone they don’t hurt them. period. Your spouce is supposed to be the one you trust the most, you are supposed to be a team, and its obvious their “word” or promise to be faithful doesn’t mean anything. Like its been said “A man is only as good as his word”.


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