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10 Reasons I Hate My Kid

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On mom on why she thinks anyone who says they love their kids 24/7 is full of it.

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Momlogic's Momstrosity: OK, before you freak out over the headline: "How can you say you hate your kids?? I just LOVE being a mommy!!" Sorry, but you're probably the same woman who said it was "love at first sight" when you laid eyes on your newborn in the delivery room. Come on. How can you fall in love with a shriveled, crying, poop machine? 

If you want to delude yourself, that's fine--maybe you've seen one too many Johnson & Johnson baby lotion commercials. The truth is, having kids is a huge pain in the ass, but most moms are too brainwashed to admit it.



Anyway, that said, here are 10 reasons why I hate my kid:

1. My car consistently reeks of rancid milk. So much for that new car smell.

2. Because of my kid, I'll never, ever, ever, get my flat stomach back. I know my kid's to blame 'cause she was the last one in there.  

3. In order to strap my toddler into his car seat, I have to use every ounce of my physical strength as if I'm subduing a psychotic mental patient. And I have the bites and scratches to prove it.

4. Because changing urine-soaked sheets and comforters when they've wet the bed isn't my idea of a good time. Just once I'd like to hear the sound of my washing machine NOT running.

5. When she spit rejected semi-masticated food into my hands.

6. When my toddler, mid-tantrum, drops to the sidewalk like dead-weight when I'm in a hurry. A walk generally turns into a drag.

7. Trying to pretend I give a sh*t about Dora the Explorer.

8. If it weren't for my kid, I would never have to set foot in that demonic mouse palace known as Chuck E. Cheese.

9. My once beautiful couch, walls, and drapes are covered in peanut butter and fluorescent Play-Doh.

10. I used to really like to have sex--that's how I managed to pop out a kid in the first place. Now I'm so tired, I'd rather stick a fork in my eye.




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295 comments so far | Post a comment now
NaNa Banna July 3, 2008, 4:24 AM

For me this Erin has some problems. I love to laugh at irony and silly stupid things…but seeing abused and neglected children…even murdered babies and children in the news, in town and around the world…to say the least this poor woman needs some rest but to even think that she could even hate her children for a laugh is just sick. Motherhood/Parenthood is not for whimps she sounds like a spoiled child that has let children get the best of her.

I absolutly adored my daughter even before she was born, she was the funnest and brightest little girl ever. The teen years (15-18)were trying but we made it through together.

She is a healthy Wife and Mother of a super little boy, who reminds me a lot of her at the same ages. She gets tired or upsets sometimes, she calls we talk then she gets her calm back and we laugh a lot.

She is turning 30 years old on the 20th of July and shje still calls her mom a few times a week just to chat and laugh with me…the thought of ever having any reason to hate her is inconceivable.
I loved her into the greatest woman I know.

I shared this because the post Erin wrote leaves such a bad impression of who she might be and others who want to sympathize with her sentiment have to really search their hearts and take a good look at their lifestyles because they are missing something. Get Nannys…envolve Grandmothers to help lighten the load that bogs down the joy. Do whatever it takes to love your family every single day of your life (especially love them through the hardest days) because you will never regret doing this. You will regreat your words and thoughts if you feel hate or anger….that you can count on.

Victoria Anais July 3, 2008, 11:34 AM

I think that mother is just ignorant and does not deserve to have your kids.
Okay, they cry and shrivel.You do the same thing when you’re not happy and sometimes seriously is bother you. So do you not love yourself? So what they cry a lot more that’s because they care about the little things and everything around and do not fully understand the fundamentals of life,yet. Some adult don’t even understand the fundamental of life and don’t say you do, because if you did you would not be able to say you hate your kids.

6HotCoffees July 7, 2008, 3:26 PM

I get her. Seriously. Motherhood is hard and when our efforts go unappreciated over and over and over, it makes it difficult to say we enjoy cleaning up all day for children and husbands who mess more up than we can clean in a day!
She may just be “venting” out her thoughts. I dont’ really want to hear about Pokemon or Yugi-Oh either, I could care less.
I have 5 children and there are days I wish there was such a thing as “calgon take me away”. Fact is if I go away to the bathroom just for 2 minutes, I come back to dumped cereal or worse or a sibling fight which makes me very tired of dealing with it all.
I hate the mess. I hate that I have to clean up afer everyone. I hate always having a trashed house. I can’t do it alone, yet I have zero help. If dad won’t do a flippin’ thing, how can I expect his kids too?
Give the woman a break, she is just stating what nags at her the most. My new car is trashed after 1 trip! I don’t have time to clean it and the house!!!

ONE OF THOSE MOMS July 7, 2008, 8:14 PM

All I can say is ” You took the words right outta my mouth!” I do love my kids, but sometimes they make me want to run away! Motherhood is a hard job!! And I grow a little more with my own kids every day, a new lesson to be learned by both parties.

ROBERT LEE July 7, 2008, 9:42 PM

The next time you go through your list of why you hate your kids, the next time you read through number 1 to 10, go to 0, your kids didn’t ask to be born!

That being said, I agree with your post, partly that is. I don’t hate them, but I hate the things they do, which I don’t like.

renee July 13, 2008, 2:44 PM

relax people!!! since when is it bad to vent and laugh at the same time?I loved this aticle.Theres days everyone “hates” their kids, like when they refuse to get out of bed and your already late for work!I agree with most of it especially the up-chucky e. chez part the last time when came home from there we had crappy prizes and a head full lice.

wow July 13, 2008, 4:55 PM

Dear God you pshychopathatic mother’s
This blog is obvioulsy created for laughs and I know all people have diffrent veiws, but I am positive all you woman have once in this wonderfulk thing called motherhood think “why god, why”. So get off your high mighty trip and be realistic and let me know how joyful you are when you kids hit puberty and the teen years believe me its not joyful

Brandie July 13, 2008, 9:02 PM

Man, I live in the “great” OC California(being sarcastic to all you literal, humor-less, perfect soccer moms out there) and I see these yuppy moms everywhere. Although I did fall in love with my son at first sight, I did not bond with my daughter right away since I was totally out of it after my emergency c-section. I love my kids to death, and I do agree that those frustrating moments are not THAT big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but my gosh, lighten up! Society has fed us women so much crap about how we should be perfect and never have these feelings. Get off your high horse, quit trying to be perfect and join the human race with rest of us.

isabellasmommy July 13, 2008, 10:13 PM

Wow, you are a piece of work, aren’t you? I’ve never seen such resentment towards kids. Sure,it’s hard work but you had a choice. Stop blaming your kids. You should have used a condom if you hate kids so much.

Julie July 13, 2008, 10:19 PM

All I have to say is AMEN to you. I have a 12 year old and then for some odd reason decided to have another one and go through it all over again yes I know it was my choice but let me tell you what you wrote hits the head on the nail PERFECTLY. All the others who don’t agree RELAX!!!! I’m sure she does not really hate her kids we need to have these for husbands, mothers, in-laws etc………..

Anonymous July 14, 2008, 12:37 AM

This is one crazy broad.

ally8605 July 14, 2008, 5:27 AM

I am a 21 year old mother of 2 boys who are 11 months apart. they are 18 months and 7 months old. I agree that hate is a strong word but I just loved this post. It shows that we are not perfect. We are mothers all of us and this post just lets us laugh a little stress off our back. I love my kids very much ever since I knew I was pregnant. I stay at home with my boys all day every day unless I am at my mothers house. Sometimes I would like to scream. the temper tantrums, the screaming because I want daddy and daddy is asleep or at work and the frustration of getting them into bed or into a car seat. It makes me feel like I’m not the only one who is going through this.. I just love this post because it helped me relieve a little stress by laughing. She doesn’t hate her kids, but she is saying that she gets frustrated like the rest of us..

Just_Me July 14, 2008, 7:52 PM

I thought this was hilarious…but of course, I can understand when something is said (or written/typed) tongue-in-cheeck. When our daughter was born did I weep with joy at the sight of her? Absolutely! Did I weep with joy when, at 11 months old, she threw a tantrum in my arms & kicked me in the stomach 8 weeks after I had my entire abdominal wall repaired? NO! I wasn’t exactly thinking about how precious she was at that moment lol. I love being a mom, & literally thank God for our daughter every single night before I go to sleep! …But there are certainly moments when I’d love to run away screaming lol! Being a mom isn’t easy, and it’s not supposed to be…but it can definitely be funny!

Miserable Mom July 15, 2008, 1:40 AM

I hate my kids some days too. In fact, some days, I really do think about why I didn’t just abort. I know, it’s a mean thing to say, but I feel that way some days. Other days, I am ok with having children. Not overjoyed or anything, just ok with it. If to do over again, I wouldn’t have any children. Why? Because children f***-up lives… perfectly good lives that could have been great were it not for snot-snosed, good for nothing, dead weight kids. Just my 2 cents!

Jessi July 15, 2008, 6:26 PM

Really? I think she is right! I mean it’s total B.S. that every mom loves their kids every moment. By Hate - I’m thinking she might’ve meant dis-like just like the one momma said - why is it OK to say I don’t “like” my kids but wrong to say “hate”. She didn’t say she wished they were dead! I personally think women who wrap their lives COMPLETELY around their kids have wasted their own lives. What did they do? Raise a kid? Big whoop - crack heads do it every day.

Anonymous July 17, 2008, 12:13 AM

Miserable Mom…that is a terrible thing to write. You sound like a horrible person, and you DO NOT deserve to have your children. I wish your kids will see what you wrote someday so they know how you really feel and how much of a terrible person you are.

Catherine July 17, 2008, 1:26 AM

I am amazed at the defensiveness of some of the posts in response to this article. Women are their own worst enemies when they can’t be honest about the highs and lows of it all. Parenting is the hardest and most exhausting job a person will ever do. If it’s not, you’re not doing it properly. Women who choose to have high flying careers generally enjoy what they do but once in a while along comes the day from hell and they wish they could take some time out from it all. Mothers are no different. I know. I’ve done both in my time. Yes, we choose to have children and we don’t ever regret that decision. But why is it considered to be such a crime to admit there are times when you just want to get away from it all for a while? There are parts of motherhood we never signed up for, because we never knew those parts existed. Nobody really knows what the reality of having children is going to be like until that first baby comes along. I have heard women who work in the areas of nursing and child care say that they were completely unprepared for the reality of being responsible for the love and care of a child 24-7-365 for at least 18 years. Has anyone here truly never wished to God their kids would stop whining at the supermarket or would stop fighting in the car on the way to school? I don’t hate my kids at all. What I hate are these Mothers Superior who seem to turn into Stepford Wives the moment their children are born and refuse to admit, even to themselves, that it’s possible to love their kids but not love everything they do.

yousuck July 18, 2008, 12:30 PM

What a crappy mom you must be. Don’t worry, if you hate your kids so much, I’m sure one day the state will make sure you won’t have to deal with them anymore.

Do your kids a favor and find them a new loving home with people who know how to treat kids.

Truth July 21, 2008, 10:12 PM

As I sit here with my daughter crying on my shoulder I can only laugh at this story just like the one after this story.

I don’t ever hate my kids, and I loved them more than anything the first moment I laid eyes on them!!

I still find this funny cause it points out all the things that go on that can only make a person laugh… come on people she doesn’t really hate her kids… otherwise she wouldnt have to pretend to care about pokemon!

Lighten up!

Ella July 22, 2008, 2:46 AM

The things mentioned here are just normal parts of parenthood.

That said, I never liked babies/toddlers and never intended to have kids. I don’t want to get up in the middle of the night to change bedsheets, or any of the usual “mommy” things.

My husband wanted kids, however. We have two, and he’s the one staying home with them.

I didn’t change my mind after seeing them for the first time… or the 100th time.

I love them and enjoy spending time with them, but if one pukes, I’m not the one who’s going to clean it up.

If I could do it over again, I would have suggested we adopt slightly older children, instead.


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