I don't care if I had all the money in the world--I still think nannies blow.
Momlogic's Momstrosity: The cost of having a personal baby watcher is exorbitant--starting at $24,000 a year--but that's NOT why I don't have one. No, I send my child to a reputable daycare center to play with other children so he's not alone all day with a glorified babysitter.
Nannies hate their jobs.
Don't kid yourself. Your nanny isn't smitten by your child's every move--it's hard to be genuinely in love with a meal ticket. Think about this: Are YOU engaged at your job every minute of your 10-hour day? The consequences are different if you goof off from work--maybe you'll miss a deadline. When your nanny's sick of HER job, your child could wander into the arms of the local sexual predator during playtime at the park.
I don't have to know C.I.A. tactics.
To figure out if your nanny's spending the day on the couch munching Cheetos while your kid's under the sink eating Drano, you need to be an expert in surveillance-- installing nanny cams, wiretaps, and hidden G.P.S. devices. Go ahead--turn your house into an episode of Big Brother--I'll focus my attention elsewhere.
I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty.
For those moms who have nannies around the clock, have you ever changed a diaper or wiped a snotty nose--both incredible ways to bond with your child--by actually taking care of them. Nannies are great for taking all that icky fuss and muss out of motherhood--that way you can go get your mani/pedi in peace.
Daycare centers don't call in sick, get stuck in traffic or bitch.
Nannies do...and if they don't like you, your kid or your arrangement, they'll quit without giving you notice--leaving you to (gasp!) fend for yourself.
Nannies are hotter than you.
I don't need a young, nurturing girl from Sweden giving my husband an eyeful when she bends over to pick up LEGOS. There are FAR too many cases of men leaving their wives for the "Mary Poppins" type. And I doubt a spoonful of sugar will help the divorce go down.