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5 Products Women DON'T Need

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Momlogic narrows down the list of things you think you need and finds five products we can live without.

Momlogic's Momstrosity: Men are hunters, women are gatherers shoppers. And who among us hasn't been mesmerized by a new product claiming to make us as beautiful as Angelina -- or for that matter, Brad? The sad truth is, not everything on the shelves is actually necessary. In fact, most of it is garbage -- beautiful, sweet-smelling garbage in pretty packaging -- but garbage nonetheless. As a service to all women, we've have scoured the 'Net and came up with five products you absolutely don't need. Tell us if you'd buy any of these items:

1) Liquid Virgin Drops
Vagina not what it used to be? Liquid Virgin Drops will tighten you up good. Kind of like a poor woman's vaginal rejuvenation in a bottle. The instructions say to just add a few drops and within 15 minutes you'll snap back into shape. COME ON! Unless we drink the stuff, there's not enough Liquid Virgin Drops in the world to return us to our virginal days -- and it's very unlikely we'd be fooling anyone into thinking we're "pure as the new driven snow" with our kids barging in on us when we're having sex.
sanitarypads.jpg 2) Patterned Sanitary Napkins
If these sanitary pads are doing their job, the only time you'll be able to delight in their sassy pattern is taking them out of the box. Otherwise, used properly, they'll have a whole different kind of pattern on them -- mostly in a crimson motif. Guaranteed to bleed you of your hard-earned money.

3) Hello Kitty Douche
Hello Douche! Most gynecologists would argue whether douching is even necessary, but we're willing to bet all would agree that the Hello Kitty douche is just plain wrong. We don't know what it smells like but we can guess it has the sickeningly sweet scent of the Hello Kitty franchise itself.


4) Nipple Jewelry
How many times have you looked down at your nipples and thought -- I'm just not making the most of these? Yeah, our boobs supplied milk but now what good are they? Enter Nipple Hugger Jewelry, decorative and apparently arousing because they gently squeeze your nipples. We guess you could wear them when you vacuum for some serious multi-tasking. Honestly, if our t*ts still looked anything like the model in the picture we wouldn't bother with jewelry, bras, or even shirts.

clearmascara.jpg 5) Clear Mascara
Possibly the most worthless product ever designed for women. Think about it -- mascara is supposed to make your lashes stand out. Clear is, well, clear -- transparent. So you spend seven bucks wiping invisible chemicals on your lashes and presto, your money disappears too!

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29 comments so far | Post a comment now
jessica ward June 3, 2010, 7:32 AM

do the virgin drops really work?? where do you get them??

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Michael Skvortsov March 14, 2011, 10:21 PM

Now get rid of the stupid ads covering the entire right side of your article, and it might be readable.

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Constance May 21, 2011, 6:42 AM

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Shorty May 22, 2011, 8:33 AM

It’s spooky how clever some ppl are. Tnahks!

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