Boys Keep Out

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Guest blogger Meanest Mom writes: The other day I was washing my hands in a public restroom when I reached for the towel dispenser and found myself face to face with an 8-year-old boy.

My first thought was "Eew! Get out of here!" My second thought was, "Are people thinking the same thing about the two boys standing next to me?"

I am the mother of twin 4-year-old boys who, more often than not, do their business in women's restrooms. It's not that my sons haven't expressed their desire to pee in a urinal--they have--I've just been reluctant to let them. My worry is not so much about pedophiles hiding out in men's bathroom stalls (although that is a concern), but the potential problems associated with sending two preschoolers into a room filled with flushing whirlpools and electric fountains...unattended.

As I learned from an incident at Costco last week, it is impossible to assist a crying boy who has run out of toilet paper at an inopportune time without first clearing the bathroom of five very annoyed men with full bladders.

All of this has left me wondering: At what age should boys start using the men's restroom? Mothers of boys ranging from ages 4 to 14 want, and in the case of the latter, NEED to know.

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You should be concerned about pedophiles! A few years ago a horrible incident made national headlines. Forgive me if the story is a bit fuzzy. But the jist is a tween boy went to the restroom at a rest stop with his aunt standing outside the entrance. After a while she realized that he had been in there a while. She eventually went in. He had been sexually assulted and murdered. It just isn’t safe. I appreciate it when moms of boys “announce” the entrance of their sons. Several times I’ve quipped “Just a moment please. My 11 & 9 year old girls are with me.” And we politely pass each other as she waits until we exit. I know this was thought to be a light hearted blog but…

- calimom 3

Posted 07/03/08 08:23 PM

Our pool posts the age as six. But I am still careful and my oldest is eight. We take it slow and watch who is going in and out. He also knows that there is a time limit before I get an employee to go in. But at airports and very busy places - he is still with me. Walmart, Target etc - he is likely to be on his own.

- Jenni

Posted 07/04/08 07:48 AM

I agree about being very careful even with older boys. We live in a big high crime city. My youngest son is 12 but I do not let him enter a bathroom until I am sure it is empty then I post myself at the door half in and half out to be sure no men go in until he is finished. Men who come by will usually just look at me funny and keep going. If they ask what I am doing I tell them that I am waiting for my son and that no one is going in until he is done. They are usually very understanding anyone who watches the news around here knows the risks. We have had several incidents where teen boys have been raped or just had men expose themselves to them in restrooms in our city. Not to mention the gang members who do some of their recruiting beat downs in bathrooms across our city. If your son is hurt…Even if you catch the guy who did it because you know who went in and out… that will not change what happened to your son. I will continue to be careful. Around here even our older teen sons usually go to the bathroom only in pairs.

- Anonymous

Posted 07/04/08 12:49 PM

We try use the “family” bathrooms that have popped up in most large public places (like Malls). It solves a lot of these issues. We just need more places to included them.

- Dee

Posted 07/07/08 12:56 PM

I am sooooooo glad I have a daughter! My best friend has boys. She always sent them in the mens room together and stood by the door, listening for cries of help. I really feel for you moms with boys.

- Anonymous

Posted 07/07/08 01:24 PM

The YMCA has a sign posted outside their locker rooms: Age of 6 or older, same gender/same restroom and locker room. Works for me!

- Monika

Posted 02/13/09 05:32 AM

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