Why Have Kids When You Can Have Monkeys?

Why Have Kids When You Can Have Monkeys?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

filed under: kid logic

Women are adopting what's being called "monkids:" Monkeys raised as kids.

Empty nesters are filling the void of a childless house by adopting baby monkeys as child surrogates. Currently, there are an estimated 15,000 monkeys who live in homes and are treated exactly like small children by their adoptive "parents." They sit in high chairs, have their diapers changed, wear baby clothes and even have their own rooms. ABC Primetime's latest "Outsider" series profiles Lori Johnson, a mother of six who adopted a monkey when her last kid left home. "I was really depressed, and I wanted something that was going to take over for my kids," Lori says.

Lori dresses her simian daughter named Jesse in homemade fussy dresses, feeds her in a high chair and takes her along everywhere she goes, including trips to the local fast food drive-thru. Although Lori says Jesse acts more human than monkey, she did have Jesse's teeth removed as a precaution. We're guessing animal rights activists are not invited over for dinner at the Johnson house.

This is crazy, right? Or is it no different than putting a sweater on a dog? Or declawing the beloved family cat?

filed under: kid logic

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This is absurd! Monkeys are wild animals…how selfish to keep them inside with a person when they should be living in their own habitat. Um…REALLY if you’re that in need, try..gee I dunno: adopting cats and dogs etc in danger of being killed from pounds Adopt a child—there’s so many kids without parents! Honestly, we do enough harm to wild animals without having to put our neediness on them as well.

- Coralle

Posted 07/02/08 04:04 PM

this is so sad. It’s so cruel to do this to a monkey. These people should be ashamed of themselves. Taking her teeth out???

- Gretch

Posted 07/02/08 04:54 PM

I am concerned for the mothers on these baby monkeys that people are adopting. Do these people know that in order for them to get a baby the mothers are killed and the babys are taken from the dead mothers! Even if they are not killed if these empty nesters are depressed that their baby had moved out how would they feel if their baby was ripped out of their arms and given to the monkey’s???

- lin

Posted 07/07/08 08:42 AM

This sounds a little ridiculous to me. I agree with a previous poster, there are many dogs/cats and also children that are in need of a home and SAFE. If you have to remove the teeth of an animal to feel safe around it, maybe you shouldn’t own it.

- Alexia

Posted 07/07/08 02:57 PM

I see nothing wrong with this. I think it’s wonderful! If it’s so cruel, why are so many wild animals caged up in zoos? I think it’s too bad the teeth from dogs can’t be removed. How many people are harmed from them every year? Some breeds need to be placed in the wild or have their teeth removed!(Like Pit Bulls!!!!)

- Anonymous

Posted 07/07/08 06:41 PM

I agree with the fact that having a monkey would be so awesome!!!!!!! But I also agree with the fact that taking their teeth out is so dumb that is just mean and they shouldnt be doing that but other then that monkeys would be cool to own. =] you know what i mean?

- Carina

Posted 07/19/08 12:01 AM

Toe docking (euphemistically: declawing) is a cruelty that has become almost routine—like rounding up Jews et al. for trips to concentaration camp. Evil feeds upon itself and metastasizes, and becomes routine. Monkey adoption does not meet these criteria (yet).

- Harriet Baker

Posted 07/24/08 08:04 PM

Please tell me you are NOT comparing declawing cats with sending humans to concentration camps to be killed? That is just plain ridiculous. I agree that declawing cats is cruel, but you seriously cannot equate that with the evil perpetrated by the Nazis. And how does any of this relate to weirdos raising moneys in their homes?

- Robin

Posted 08/21/08 06:26 PM

Yes, let’s adopt wild animals instead of the poor, lonely children from among many of our orphanages. Who cares about children anyway? I’m sure that monkey will return the favor by caring for you when you get old; like driving you to the store and stuff. (I can’t even imagine the self-esteem issues orphans must have by hearing stories like this)

- S

Posted 11/13/09 06:32 PM