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Toddlers and Ice Cream Cones are a Lethal Combo

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Handing an ice cream cone to a toddler is like handing her a loaded gun. It's dangerous and messy.

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Momlogic's Momstrosity: Like every new parent, I relished the idea of my daughter's first ice cream cone-- at least for the guaranteed adorable photo op. So, on a scorching hot day at a California beach, I strolled into a seemingly innocent ice cream parlor determined to buy my 2-year-old her first frozen milestone.

First mistake: I ordered chocolate.

Second mistake: I handed it to my daughter.

We stepped outside into the sun. For one nano-second that painfully cute image I had in my head of my little girl and an ice cream cone came true. I melted. Then, the ice cream started to melt. And melt. My tiny tot froze, clutching the cone and not even realizing it was edible. "Lick it," I told her. She started to catch on, and lightly patted the top with her tongue. Meanwhile, torrents of ice cream were already soaking her dress and shoes.

Third mistake: I didn't bring a change of clothes
.

I rushed her back into the ice cream shop. "Please," I begged, "I need some napkins!" The spotty kid behind the counter peeled off two wafer thin napkins as if he were doling out gold leaf and handed them to me with a shrug. By now she looked like a 32-inch-tall Almond Joy covered from head to toe in chocolate. Yet her little hands still clutched that cone.

Fourth mistake: I tried to take the cone away from her.

The words of the late Charlton Heston popped into my head: " I'll give you my gun when you take it from my cold, dead hands." This must have been what he meant. She continued to white-knuckle the cone.

Fifth mistake: I took the cone away from her.

She started screaming at the top of her lungs. OMG, I thought. Did I just scar her for life? Will she be blaming me years later in therapy? "I guess my eating disorder really started the time my callous mother yanked away my first ice cream cone."

First thing I did right: I quickly handed the streaming cone back to her.

The crying stopped. I gave up any idea of controlling the situation, and we walked over to a patch of of grass and sat down. She looked up at me with her chocolate mask face, and took a bite out of her now empty, dripping cone mixed with the paper wrapping and smiled, "Mommy, I like it." I melted again.


next: Freedom of Choice Blows
5 comments so far | Post a comment now
sylvia May 27, 2008, 6:33 AM

I love the helpful graphic - and well done for regaining control by giving it up. That’s really not very easy to do. Great post.

JLA May 27, 2008, 10:20 AM

This is adorable. I read it to my husband he thought it was awesome too.

Summer June 12, 2008, 2:53 PM

What a funny and so true story. We have to learn to clean up the mess when the situation is over.

Ty January 9, 2009, 9:57 PM

2 year old icecream cone checklist:

1. Establishment has outdoor seating that is in shade

2. Tall kitchen garbage bag with head and arm holes (also for fingerpaints, chicken nuggets with sauce, first spaghetti that isn’t all cut up, etc)

3. Ask for a small single scoop cone or to be filled only an inch over the cone if soft serve, also ask for a paper cup and spoon if plans go awry.

4. Change of clothes for BOTH of you

5. Lawn and leaf bag to cover car seat if things go really bad.

6. 4-5 cases of wet wipes (to be carried at all times)

Ten Tees January 9, 2011, 10:23 AM

Interesting information. Good to read. I have one opinion to make about funny shirts.


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