Mom's Foreclosure Suicide

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Mom's Foreclosure Suicide

Friday, July 25, 2008

For one woman, losing her home led to losing her life.

Carlene Balderrama, mom of one, had a secret. Her family was heading into foreclosure. But because she handled all the family finances, her husband had no idea. Hours before the house was to be auctioned off, she faxed a letter to her mortgage company, saying that "by the time they foreclosed on the house today she'd be dead." Then she fatally shot herself with her husband's rifle.

Balderrama, 53, left a note for her husband and 24-year-old son, saying they should "take the [life] insurance money and pay for the house," police said. But, tragically, most insurance companies won't even pay in the event of a suicide.

"Put yourself in her shoes," police chief Raymond O'Berg told the Boston Globe. "You handle the finances, and you're hiding everything from family. It's a lot of pressure."

Momlogic contributor Rabbi Sherre Hirsch, author of We Plan, God Laughs: Ten Steps to Finding Your Divine Path When Life is Not Turning Out Like You Wanted, says that sort of pressure can feel like too much to bear. "A lot of women handle all the finances, but are hesitant to talk to their spouses when troubles arise," she says. "Maybe they don't know how he'll react, or they don't want to emasculate him." But in those cases, women are not only forced to deal with the stress of the family's financial woes alone, but also must bear the burden of harboring such a deep, dark secret.

With the economy getting worse and worse, gas and grocery prices skyrocketing, and foreclosure on the rise, the financial pressures have never been higher. But that's why it's more important than ever to communicate with your spouse about money, according to Hirsch. For her tips for moms, click here.

12 comments so far | Post a comment now >>

With all the billions of dollars banks and mortgage companies have made off homeowmers over decades of monthy interest payments why can’t banks just give people a break and stop forcing people to pay off loans when they can’t afford it anymore. If Congress can bail out Wall St. why can’t they give real homeowners a break? Something’s wrong with our system and values in America

- chris ferrin

Posted 07/25/08 09:08 AM

Life is like a piece of cake…Do not settle for raw or half-cooked…Wait for the right time, till it becomes a delicious cake…Then enjoy it… Tough times never last, but tough people do… www.allexcellence.blogspot.com

- Herman Cho

Posted 07/25/08 09:16 AM

My heart goes out to that family. Our thoughts and prayers are with them. In the end it’s not the years in out life but the life in our years.

- Hollie

Posted 07/25/08 10:18 AM

Gosh, this is an incredibly sad story. :(

- Karen Putz / DeafMom

Posted 07/25/08 10:22 AM

Most women handle the finances because men are too lazy to do it.

- Anonymous

Posted 07/25/08 11:42 AM

“Most women handle the finances because men are too lazy to do it.” Based on what evidence?

- AM

Posted 07/25/08 12:15 PM

Just because one person or the other handles the finances, doesn’t mean that they are the only one who should know what the budget looks like. One person might implement it, but it should be agreed upon by both partners. Problems with finances should be shared and resolved together. Sacrifices in wants should be agreed upon so things that are needed can be taken care of. Her husband should have known they were in trouble. It was a terrible burden for this woman to have had to deal with on her own. You know, the bottom line is, and the WORST part about this story? That this poor woman thought that that house was more important that she was. We can live without stuff people. It’s just stuff. Life is FAR more important. My deepest sympathies to this woman’s family and friends.

- Ginny

Posted 07/25/08 12:38 PM

I read that her husband had unsuccessfully filed for bankruptcy for two or three years in a row within the last five years. How could he NOT have known they were in financial trouble? It sounds like he was burying his head in the sand, and letting his wife take the heat. My husband handles most of the finances, too, but I know how much money we make, and roughly what our bills are. I’m sure I would know if we weren’t making enough to meet our mortgage, unless he suddenly developed a gambling or drug problem.

- sari

Posted 07/25/08 08:50 PM

BS, her husband didn’t know about it. He’s one of those folks who doesn’t have to attend ANY of the three creditors’ meetings, required by the bankruptcy court. He’s one of those folks who doesn’t have to make payments TO WHICH HE AGREED to the bankruptcy courts. He’s one of those folks who uses the bankruptcy courts to delay, but he knew that he was tens of thousands of dollars in debt to that mortgage company when the last Ch 13 was dismissed, as it should have been. This is a $232,000 house, and the central A/C isn’t working, by the looks of the window unit. This house is owned by an owner who can’t take care of things, and then says “I had no idea.” The vehicles in front are nice, though, aren’t they? Makes me wonder what else Mr. Balderrama found fit to do with all that money he wasn’t paying to his creditors. Those police need to look closer at this matter.

- vlscpa

Posted 07/26/08 09:54 AM

BTW, whatever habits Mr. Balderrama has were most likely not at all recently developed. He’s probably got quite a court record, lawsuits, if not arrests. This guy’s a liar and a fraud, and the cops really, really need to look closer at this sad story, because I suspect that it’s actually a mystery story, easy to solve if you can get past the “oh that poor lady” crap.

- vlscpa

Posted 07/26/08 10:03 AM

The woman hadn’t made a house payment in 42 months… and another article said her husband was a plumber earning $95K/year as of Apr 2006. Looks like two new vehicles in the driveway (I assume theirs), so even though I DON’T know the ENTIRE story, this is not the typical foreclosure issue due to predatory lenders. I feel bad for the family, but it sounds like more than the mortgage was a problem.

- Chris

Posted 07/26/08 10:42 PM

i THINK THERE IS MORE TO THIS STORY

- Smith

Posted 08/13/08 03:13 AM

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Mom's Foreclosure Suicide

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12 comments so far | Post a comment now >>