Guest blogger mom-on-the-edge says: My heart was racing. I told myself I wasn't going to do this and, yet, here I was calling my husband -- first.
It had been two days since we talked. I imagined he was having a much easier time with our separation. Maybe he was too busy having fun to miss me. But, wasn't he missing our son? I couldn't stand to be away from the little guy for even a few hours. How could he stand not seeing him for a few days?
He answered, "Hello?"
"Hi!" I tried not to sound desperate, "How are you?"
"Good. I'm heading out to a baseball game..."
"I miss you! WE miss you!" I failed. "He almost took a step today..." I started to cry, "You should come home."
"I'll stop by after the game."
Like a professional athlete preparing for the big game, I used the power of visualization and created a positive outcome. He would walk in the door and like long lost lovers we would embrace, not letting go for a long time. I would look into his eyes and together we would see the absurdity of the situation. "I miss you! I miss YOU!" A passionate kiss, I would be enveloped by his body...
Our son fell asleep before he made it home.
"I miss you."
"I miss you too!"
Grabbing, kissing, we ripped each other's clothes off.
"I love you."
"I love you too!"
And, that's when I tasted the alcohol lingering on his tongue. He got drunk at the game. As he lay sleeping in bed I wondered if he would feel the same way about me tomorrow. And, if our little boy was going to take his first steps while his dad was at a bar drinking with his friends.