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Moms Choose Baths over Kids

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We asked stay-at-home moms and working moms what makes them truly happy--and both say it's being ALONE! Read on to find out what really makes mom tick... cause it certainly ain't the kids! 

This week, Newsweek features an article that says kids don't necessarily make you happier. We polled over 700 moms on that very subject...and it opened our eyes to how moms really feel.

What were the top things that made moms happy? Not their kids! 

1. Taking a bubble bath alone, surprisingly (or not surprisingly, depending on how you look at it) got the most votes. 

2. Working out and going on a family holiday tied for second. 

3. Getting a massage and going out on a romantic date with your husband or partner tied for this spot.

4. Playing with my kids tied with spending time by myself doing nothing. Interesting? 

5. And the fifth most popular answer to what makes moms happy? Sleep!

Now that we figured out what made moms happy, we were curious who was actually happier: working moms or stay-at-home moms. We were shocked by what we discovered.

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108 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous July 2, 2008, 5:23 PM

my big beef is that these things always say something that identifies “stay at home” moms with some derogatory name like SAHM and then there is the “WORKING” mom…like we moms at home don’t work…what is up with that? I don’t understand why women want to do two jobs instead of one that is full enough!

Rachel July 2, 2008, 5:48 PM

I have to admit I much prefer being a stay at home mom. I worked until getting pregnant soon after my husband and I got married. 9 years later we have five boys with one on the way. It can be stressful and tiresome at times, but I guess that’s life. And I guess being pregnant for the sixth time in nine years pretty much says how often my husband and I have sex…lol.


disgraced July 2, 2008, 5:49 PM

I’m not a mom, so it is difficult for me to relate to the notion of “needing space” and “wanting a break from the kids”. i am however a child as is everyone who has written in on this blog, and as a child i have these convictions of how heartless some of you are. for some, the opportunity to have children is not present, and they would give anything to have them. the ability to have kids is a gift, an opportunity, a chance. you get to raise a child, soemone who you can shape to be a good and successful person for the future. you are blessed though it may seem to be in disguise. reconsider your comments, what if your children saw them.

Baba July 2, 2008, 5:51 PM

Types of moms most likely to cheat? MILF’s and Cougars, yesssireeee

Chyna Doll July 2, 2008, 5:56 PM

I switch between SAHM and working. I must say, it’s ALOT harder being a SAHM than a working one for the simple fact that i get no time alone! I do like my time alone, i love it. Not to say i don’t love pending time with my family but hey, people do need breaks or they get burnt out!

Momof4in24 July 2, 2008, 5:57 PM

disgraced on July 2, 2008 5:49 PM

I am a Mom, and I totally agree with you. If you don’t want them, don’t have them.. We all get tired, of course,but, if they don’t make you happy, why have them?

Chuck July 2, 2008, 6:08 PM

As a stay-at-home dad, I agree on being alone. There are times that I just want to read the paper or watch 15 minutes of CNBC without being pestered.

Unfortunately, our only child, age 5, isn’t very good at entertaining himself and wants dad to play ball, read a story, or make goofy faces. I was an only child and could entertain myself for hours, pestering my mother only if I wanted lunch or a snack.

On the other hand, my wife’s career was doing much better than mine, when our son was born. It made sense then, and I would do it again.

tsab July 2, 2008, 6:08 PM

I happened upon this article by mistake, or divine intervention (your pick) and ended up slightly amazed at the undertone of the commments. What’s the problem about mother’s wanting time alone, working or non? Mom’s above all deserve a little selfish time- no one to want, need or require anything from you. It’s a nice break, and often a random unconsistent one. In no way does that mean that we don’t love our kids or take them for granted- we simply enjoy a moment to be the most important person in the (empty) room.

jill July 2, 2008, 6:10 PM

Of course some time alone is on the top of moms list of what makes them happy, we all want what we don’t have!

Anonymous July 2, 2008, 6:17 PM

this therapist is a quack!! stay at home moms should be happier. if i could stay home and have someone else provide for me and pay all the bills id be happier too. i have much more respect for a working woman putting her education and skills to use as opposed to someone without such staying home doing the job that a good school should do. as far as cheating i dont agree with that statistic. idle minds are the tool of the devil…

Linda July 2, 2008, 6:22 PM

I have to agree with the survey. I have worked, and went to college, graduated, kept working up until about 5 years ago. Together we have 5 children. The youngest is now 17. And we only have 2 left at home. (One came back haha). I decided to stop working when my step-daughter moved in with us when she was 11. She had pretty serious emotional problems. Fortunately, I was able to quit my job and be home with them. Sure having all of my kids at home after school, along with a lot of their friends, is a little stressful, but I do not regret my decision for a moment. I feel better knowing what they are doing and who they are with. I realize that they don’t tell me everything, but I feel LUCKY that they feel comfortable enough to come to me to talk about any problem. Their friends included! (Some things I’ve heard I wish I didn’t know! lol) I am friends with their mom’s as well and about half of them are single working mom’s. Now thats a tough job!! Been there too.

As far as sex goes, it is 100% better now than when I was working. I’m not as exhausted as I used to be, and I’m happier and more relaxed. It is also nice to have a house with our bedroom being on the other side of the house away from the other bedrooms. THAT HELPS!

But this type of arrangment would not be possible without a kind, funny, and understanding husband, who, after 8 years of marriage, I still love seeing walk thru that front door every night.

Mark July 2, 2008, 6:27 PM

Oh, get real, ANYONE can and/or will cheat….. moms, dads, anyone. It depends on what’s going on in the relationship…….. NOT their gender.

Mom MD July 2, 2008, 6:34 PM

I’m a physician and a mom. I love my job b/c I work 7 days ‘on’ and 7 days ‘off’. So I am able put on SAHM-hat and working mommy-hat. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

ira moore July 2, 2008, 6:38 PM

My Mom was a Proverbs 31 Mom. The very best.

Michele July 2, 2008, 6:46 PM

I can definitely relate with both sides. I’ve been both a SAHM and a working mom, and I preferred to work. People get preconceived notions that when you are a SAHM that you have nothing to do all day and are available to be everyone’s counselor, taxi cab driver, and volunteer person. While my children were in school I did more than I did working a 10 hour a day job and it got to the point when I dreaded answering my phone.

SodaPopMommy July 2, 2008, 6:48 PM

I’m a full-time working mother, on call 10 days, 24 hours a month with my job. I take care of everything in our home while my husband works hard as well.

It is very tiring working so much with such a demanding job, while being responsible for our home and the kids. I would absolutely LOVE to stay at home and focus 100% of my energy and effort into God, my children and our home. And in that order too! With that said, I agree with the survey, that whether you’re a mother, father or w/out children, everyone welcomes alone time in this crazy, demanding world. There is nothing to feel guilty about when you look forward to a little free time here and there. However, if you are putting more effort into escaping from your children for your free time all the time, you should rethink your priorities. For me, its not about escaping my kids. Its about escaping WITH my kids!!

Sarah July 2, 2008, 6:52 PM

What else will the experts come up with? Someone has to make money off the simple minded. And why is there a Rabbi involved? Let the Rabbi do what she does best, go work with the chosen and leave my Christian brothers/sisters alone!!!

Cindy July 2, 2008, 6:53 PM

I am 58. I had one child, a daughter who just turned 28 and is getting married in Aug. I chose not to work after she was born becuase my husband had a job that had odd days off. (Every 28 days he rotated a day). She went to private school, until high school. I had my time to myself while she was at school and while my hubby was at work. I did crafting and volunteer work, plus volunteered at her school from kindergarten - 5th grade in her class rooms.
That way I spent time with her at school. The afternoons and evenings, my time was hers and my hubby’s as well as the weekends. We lived on the one paycheck and cut corners so she could go to private school. It was tight but we survived.
The sex was ok. I found myself happy to be home not having to be on a schedule like I used to have to be on when I worked. No stress meant better sex for me and my husband.
As far as social interaction, my neighborhood has a lot of older retired people who are very friendly, as well as some my age. Plus I became friends with other mother’s in my daugter’s school. We started getting together at lunch time in kindergarten, and tried to continue after they started full time in school. I also met a woman in the hospital who was giving birth the same day as I. To this day we are still friends.

Caroline July 2, 2008, 6:57 PM

I’m certain many stay-at-home moms are happier who don’t have to worry about how the bills are being paid or money. But for those of us who had no choice to stay at home with our children, due to job loss of some kind, without an income, feel differently. When money is there, that is the biggest stress reducer in my opinion. I’ve been raising two toddlers alone, attending graduate school full-time, and receiving very minimal child support. I’ve been seeking employment for 3 years now via the Internet,and agencies,to no avail. When you have to bag pennies to put gas in your car, and worry about how you’re going to keep a roof over their heads, or how you’re going to keep shoes on their feet, and clothes on their backs, your stress level goes through the roof!

Momof4in24 July 2, 2008, 6:57 PM

Anonymous on July 2, 2008 6:17 PM wrote:

this therapist is a quack!! stay at home moms should be happier. if i could stay home and have someone else provide for me and pay all the bills id be happier too. i have much more respect for a working woman putting her education and skills to use as opposed to someone without such staying home doing the job that a good school should do.

Yes, I agree, The school should raise my child. Why should I sit on my fat A@@ all day eating bon bons and watching soaps, while my poor DH does all the work,and pays all the bills…? You Should have more respect for the women with the real, important jobs. After all, why should they actually raise the children they brought into the world? Where the heck do you live? Japan? No offense intended towards Mothers that work outside the home, just ignorant people who feel the need to critisize others who choose a different life course! Traditionally this was said to men, but it fits here…”No one ever died saying,I wish I had spent more time at work!”

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