First we brought you MILF mommy, who said being a size 12 is neither healthy nor attractive and urged the "fatties" to get on the elliptical. Then, size 12 mommy brought on the smackdown. Now, a nutritionist weighs in--who's right in this battle?
Size 12 versus size 4: What's healthy, what's attractive, what's the hype all about? Self-proclaimed MILF mommy thinks being a size 12 is not only grossly overweight, it's grossly unattractive. Size 12 mommy says at least she doesn't have to give up her goods (her bod and her guilty pleasures) to feel and look fabulous. When it comes to taking sides, MILF mommy got some gnarly responses from all of you, with one mom calling her "narcissistic, perfectionistic and mean-spirited." Some even redefined what MILF means (Moron, Intelligence, Loser, F*ing Unbearable). One reader wrote: "The world lacks many things, the first of what seems to be your intelligence." Ok...settle down ladies. We've asked celeb nutritionist Diane Henderiks to give us the real skinny on the debate (so to speak):
1. Size is nothing but a number: "First and foremost, your clothing size does not determine whether or not you are healthy. There are plenty of size 4 patients I have counseled for diabetes, high blood pressure and many other medical issues," she says. Ok, that's one for the 12 mommies...
2. Your calorie needs are based on your height: The shorter you are, the less calories you need. For those who are 5'3, for example, we can't eat the same amount of calories as someone who is taller.
3. Lifestyle choices are personal: "We all pretty much know right from not-so-right when it comes to diet and exercise. We have to live with the results," Diane says. That's one for the MILF's.
4. Be a role model: Being too thin is equally as harmful as being overweight. Eating and self-image problems are rampant among girls, so be careful about the messages you send to your kids, whether verbal or subliminal.
5. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all: This is an important lesson to teach and live by. If someone wants your advice, they will ask you for it. Judgments are based on personal insecurities. Did you hear that, MILF AND 12??
Let's all be as healthy as we can be, be the best example that we can and maybe pick bigger battles to duke it out over.
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Email15 comments so far | Post a comment now >>
I couldn’t agree more! Finding a balance in life is difficult enough. As women we need to be supportive and helpful to each other.
- once upon a time
The person who wrote this completely missed the point of the “12 article.” The size 12 article was DEFENDING HERSELF. There was not one judgment made in her article. She was not the one writing a judgmental argument intended to insult the Milf. The Milf was the one who felt the need to insult every woman out there. She was the one giving “advice” that was not asked for. Size 12 was just pointing this out to her. And as for the Milf being right about personal choices….why is MY personal choice any of HER business? She isn’t saying take responsibility for your own actions, she’s saying that someone is automatically lazy if they don’t work out as much as she does. She doesn’t allow for personal choices, her lifestyle is the ONLY choice. It’s a bit obvious that the person who wrote this is mainly defending the Milf, or you simply are clueless. It’s DISGUSTING that a website devoted to helping moms with “logic” would allow this Milf to come on here and make other moms feel bad about themselves, as if THE ENTIRE WORLD doesn’t already make us feel inadequate. Milf wasn’t simply stating her opinions, she was trying to convince HAPPY size 12’s that they shouldn’t be happy until they are size 4. And what did her rant have anything to do with health? NOTHING. Like most garbage talking about weight, it was strictly about appearance. It’s not that you are unhealthy, you are UGLY was the point she was making. Making statements like “your husband hates your size 12 body,” yeah that’s really something that should be published on this website. Is that what life is about, a size on a tag? So I guess we should assume Paris Hilton is the most amazing woman on earth. But the size 12 mom doing everything to help her family, wow she sucks. As if a size 4 and good looks instantly means you are a good person. And you expect the size 12 woman to just sit there and take it, and not defend herself? You should be ASHAMED of yourselves for allowing someone so full of HATE to post a blog on here!
- Jane
Jane, you must be a size 12! Why are you so mad about MILF Mommys post. She brings up some great points, maybe you should be taking notes.
- katee
As a “MILF ?” a term I find demeaning, (and I did not read either of the posts), I do want to comment on the subject. I eat what I want, (probably less then most but that’s all I can eat), I enjoy, pie and candy and ice cream but generally my food choices are healthy and not really fattening. Why? I don’t know? That is just what I enjoy, I love red juicy meat and I love grilled chicken (with a mayo sauce). So what? I am thin and I like to work out twice a week (yup, that’s all). I find other women do not want me around to any extent. Why? Many are catty. Recently, I noticed odd behavior at my gym where we have a male trainer. I guess they were just waiting for me to seduce him??? If people would not assume just because maybe they would do that if they looked like me, does not mean I would. And, I would not sleep with their husband either. I am a very moral woman with a huge conscience. So, you know what. I feel picked on because I won the genetic lottery. Not my fault, but I do sustain it. It may not be your fault your predisposed to being heavy but you can combat it. Finally, I really don’t look at other women - unless they are really attractive and you can’t help but admire their beauty. Otherwise, what was she wearing? I don’t know.
- Kay
You know size 12 on some people acutally looks better than if they were a size 4. I had my second child 14 months ago and was about a 10/12. After being a 6 for the past 10 years I thought I looked disgusting. But I am 5’8” and I actually carried the weight pretty well. I just quit breast feeding a few weeks ago and dropped 12 pounds instantly. Now I am about a 7/8 but actually wore a size 4 skirt the other day. My husband thought I was sexier being a little bigger. It’s all about your body type and how you feel comfortable. On some women a little meat is sexy and on some its not.
- ashley
I can’t tell you how many times my husband has said “I like women with meat on their bones. Making love hurts when the hip-bones are poking into me…” I was a 12/14 when I met my husband. I have gained weight over the years, due to stress, medical problems…and more stress. But, you know what? My husband has NEVER called me fat - or even hinted at it. He loves me for me…for my intellect, my spirit, my talent and my personality. Isn’t that what it is about? Be who you are - don’t try to be someone that you aren’t. If you aren’t happy with the person that you are - change what you can change and try to live (and love) what you can’t change. {serenity prayer} And, what’s funny is that my husband is a handsome, 6’4” man with a swimmers’ body…I am a 5’4”, cute, fatty…and, I don’t mind all that much - because it seems that this is where I am supposed to be. ;) I would love to lose weight and be a size 10, but I couldn’t go much smaller without looking “anorexic”. I liked my looks the best when I was a size 14…
- Cindy
I am 5’9 and weigh 210 pounds. I have had three previous C-sections and two miscarriages. I am completely disgusted with the way I look, but my husband says I am beautiful just the way I am. He does not want me to lose weight. My doctor told me I would have to have plastic surgery to get rid of my belly because of my 3 c-sections. Does anyone have any advice for me on this matter? I would just about kill to be a size 12 right now, I don’t know about a size 4. I would greatly appreciate any non-harsh advice. I feel bad enough already!!!
- Misty Rosado
I just happened to stumble on this today and I just want to say that I have been a size 4 (as small as a size 1)and I’ve also been a size 12 (which is what I am now). Even after having four children I could still be a small size. Finally at 37 I’m now a size 12 and I like it. It’s kinda hard for me because I think I look better but it’s hard because of what everybody thinks you’re suppose to look like. Everybody tells me I look better with more weight on and it look me a partial hysterectomy and 10 years to gain the weight. I also have a thyroid problem, so you know or rather you don’t always know the reason behind someones size, big or small. Isn’t there more important stuff to be discussing. Shouldn’t we just have each others backs as women. We should be telling each other and teaching our children that it doesn’t matter if your a size 4 or a size 12, as long as your happy with yourself that’s what matters. If people wouldn’t have started the stereotypes about weight, this conversation wouldn’t even be taking place. It has to stop somewhere! Imagine what the world would be like if every woman was a size 4 or 5? I mean really, think about it for a minute… There would be so much more hate, jealousy, fighting and god only knows what else. We are made different for a reason, so why not feel good about it? Besides, some men don’t like little tiny woman. Some men don’t like big woman. I say who care what everybody else thinks! Be happy with who you are and like yourself for you, not for what size you are! Who cares! Just be you…
- Lisa
i see what theyre saying i am a size 4.. but… im only 4’4 and i look huge.. but the doctor says im healthy and by body doesnt have very much fat on it.. and my bone mass is also bigger with me being a dwarf so it all depends on how youre built and how your body processes ‘cause everyone is different not to mention your clothing style.. some people say they wear what they like to wear like a size 7 when really they could fit into a size 5 comfortably. so dont judge a book by its cover or a woman by what size jeans she wears…
- Laydee
I lost 73 lbs since 2005. After a health scare and spending my 45th bday in ICU, sepsis, renal failure, LBP & GERD. I slowly lost the weight. I had a back injury in 95. depression & other issues caused me to gain weight. naproxen sodium is the meds the dr prescribed for my chronic pain. It caused the health scare in 05. I am 5’8 . I am large boned & between 177 & 185lb. I plan on losing more weight but only about 25 more lbs. I am in a 12/14 now. I can not ever see myself being in a 4. I would not feel sane if I did lose that much. When I was married, I weighed 155lb. My now X would saw “you don’t sweat much for a fat girl”. He thought this was a complement. I hated it. I have a guy friend who is 5’10”. He weighs about 185 & dyes his hair blonde. He prefers little women. Do those women think he is attractive? The ones he has met just want his money. His profession pays good.Ayway I say be comfortable in the skin you are in. be healthy & happy. Don’t pretend to be something you are not. You have to like yourself before anyone else will.
- Lov able Me
I’m surprised with a “celeb nutritionist” (as if anyone should care who your clients are?) on board this article didn’t have more substance. Disappointing. There seems to be no voice of reason in this discussion.
- Snooty
First of all, a five foot two inch woman who is a size twelve is FAT. A five foot nine inch woman who is a size twelve is HOT. But I think people are missing the point. I am a mother of two who works hard to stay slim. I go to the gym as often as I can and this does not mean I have a nanny or neglect my kids, though thanks for the slag size 12. Although I understand your need to be defensive as the MILF was a little offensive I am sure if you put every “How to Lead a Better/More Succesful Life as a Mom/Wife/Woman etc,” self improvement guide in a big pile and read through them all, not one would suggest that going to the gym is a terrible, selfish mistake that your children suffer for! One of the best things you can do for your children is to mirror an active healthy lifestyle. Now that my oldest is eleven he goes to the gym with me when he is off school! The bottom line is that while I do think anyone who refers to herself as a MILF has issues that should be addressed in another thread, we owe it to ourselves, our partners, and our children to be the healthiest, happiest we can be. So if you are a healthy proportionate size twelve, revel in your curves. But if you aren’t happy with your size quit bitching and do something about it.
- dvsndvs
We were watching “How to Look Good Naked” on tv recently and they did a make over for a pair of size 10 sisters. Initially, in the wrong clothes, they did look heavy, but with some guidance in flattering wardrobe and make over and coaching to improve their self esteem, they ended up looking gorgeous. One of the best parts was when they had live women in underwear in a store front window - they had them guess the size of each of these assorted women from size 4 - 14 - at the reveal - each of these diverse size women were all SIZE 10! AMAZING. Being healthy, eating right and regular exercise is much more important than some arbitrary number. She needs to get over herself.
- Theresa
I find all of this absolutely RIDICULOUS. Going back and forth about what looks best, who is more attractive to men. Get over it. Be healthy while still enjoying your life! The rest is all arbitrary. And if a man is only attracted to you because you’re a size 4, then that’s not a man you should be with.
- Mandie
I am disqusted does it really matter what size jeans you wear? I am 5’2 140-150 i wear size 12 i also wear 34 c i was blessed with a big chest and a big butt. i am as healthy as can be ride dirt bikes, go hiking, fishing, coach soccer, snowboard all that fun stuff with my kid. and still work bartending all night long, i have no time for a gym i am busy living, enjoying outside natures gym with my child. THE ONLY TIME IT WAS HARD TO WALK UP STAIRS IS WHEN I WAS 8 MONTHS PREGNANT. I might have some curves to me me but not fat in anyway, My daughter has the same build i do so way to go thats make young girls more insecure that is so awesome, like young girls dont have enough on there shoulders. I work with some beautiful size 4 girls and what is strange is i get the most buisness and i make the most in tips. Maybe you should find out what a women who wear size twelve really looks like not everyone can help the fact that they have some nice hips for child birth. Or maybe you are just one of those people who wears their pants above there belly button just so they can buy that one size smaller thats foolish. And if I recall i once heard that Marilyn Monroe was a size um 14 i think it was? (correct me if im wrong please) ya she was so unattractive no man wanted her cause she was over a size 10 and she was fat. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK
- tay
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