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Can a "Mom Crush" Boost Your Marriage?

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Guest blogger Elizabeth Kuster: Here's the scenario...your dentist is hot. So hot, in fact, that you get seventh-grade crush-like butterflies whenever it's time for your annual check-up. ("Say 'ahh,'" indeed!) Hey, there's no need to feel guilty, even if you are a married mom: Those warm-and-fuzzy feelings can actually be good for your marriage (as long as you don't act on them, of course!). A relationship expert explains.


Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist in New York City and host of the radio show Doctor On Call, reveals the marital benefits of having an innocent, schoolgirlish "mom crush."

"I call crushes like this 'fantasy flirts,' because they're not about flirting on a concrete level," Jane Greer says. "The great thing about them is, they make you excited and motivate you to take care of yourself and look your best. In other words, 'mom crushes' jump-start your sexual energy, and you can channel that into your marriage." Here's how:
• If your crush compliments you, tell your husband. "The point isn't to get your husband jealous, but to turn this into an opportunity to get positive feedback from him," Greer says. "Be playful about it. Say something like, 'My dentist thinks I have pretty eyes. How about you?' This will give him the chance to share his own attraction to you."
• Make sure your husband gets that other men are finding you desirable. "Telling him that someone's turned on by you will be a turn-on for him," Greer says. "It will make him feel good that he's got you. After all, he's the lucky one you're coming home to, and that's a feather in his cap!"
• Be sensitive. "If you have a somewhat controlling, insecure, or jealous spouse--or the two of you are going through a rough patch--you obviously don't want to do this," Greer notes. "Your marriage can only benefit from a 'mom crush' when your husband is absolutely secure about your fidelity."

next: When Kids and Bars Don't Mix
2 comments so far | Post a comment now
Jo August 17, 2008, 4:08 PM

Yes it can be good. Think of Michael Phelps.

Charlotte August 27, 2008, 9:21 AM

So very funny because I do have a harmless crush on my very hot dentist! And my husband knows it and teases me about it every time I have to go for a cleaning!

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